Roy was married 25 years with 5 kids. And they had a good marriage.

They love the Lord and seek to serve Him with all.

Intimacy was tough though.

And every time he brought it up, she would get defensive, or feel like she wasn't good enough, or like he'll never be satisfied.

Anyone else feel that way? 

He had heard about Masculinity Reclaimed for a couple of years and finally decided it was time. 

He kept hitting a wall. 

And if you're in that place, I want you to know...

It's legitimate that issues around intimacy hurt.

They hurt deeply. 

But Roy got to a place where trying to change her wasn't working. 

And so, he decided it was time to look at himself. 

He knew going into the program if he let his wife know, in the beginning, she would put many, many more walls up... 

So, he decided to go forward without her knowing. Because, as he said, this was a coaching program FOR HIM.

He had to talk to someone. 

It was either therapy or a coaching program.

(And he said she doesn't really like therapy either).

Anyway... that's where things started. 

But, in 12 weeks, God did something amazing. 

If you're a man looking/grasping for hope and/or you want the tools for changing your marriage, I invite you to listen.

If you're a woman who will listen with a curious heart to find out how men really feel about intimacy, I invite you to listen.

Love & Blessings,

Belah 

PS - Would you like to work on your side of your marriage? I invite you to sign up for a free Clarity Call here at delightyourmarriage.com/cc.

PPS - How healthy is your marriage, really? Take the free Marital Health Assessment here! delightyourmarriage.com/health

Quote from a Masculinity Reclaimed Graduate: 

"I've learned so much, your course helped me figure out so many things I've been struggling with in my life and I've really been able to make sense of pain and emotions that I haven't figured out until now.  

There are many more great things that have come from doing your course!"

Is what you're doing in your marriage right now working for you? 

Do you feel hopeless?

Are you lonely in your marriage? 

If you believed that your actions alone could make a difference, if you knew the tools to use to make a difference in your marriage, would you be willing to use them?

Tom's story is inspiring and is not unique to graduates of Delight Your Marriage programs.

Praise God, the tools given to married individuals through our programs have moved so many marriages into places of hope, joy, and a much greater degree of the abundant life that God wants for us to live out as His people.

It is not easy. It requires us to have humility, faith in what God can do with a yielded obedient heart, perseverance, and a desire to please our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

If any of this resonates with you, we invite you to sign up for a free Clarity Call right here.

We hope that Tom's story gives you hope that marriage could be more and motivates you to a willingness to do the work of building a better marriage and family...as much as it depends on you.

Love and prayers,

Darcy (on behalf of Belah)

Quote from a Graduate:

"The MR [Masculinity Reclaimed] program was the best thing I’ve ever done for my marriage, hands down! Wish I’d taken it years ago.

Just amazing to see the work God can do in a person’s heart, if that person is willing to do the work and make the changes needed.

I hope everyone who goes through the program tells their friends about it. I for one will be spreading the news about DYM [Delight Your Marriage]!!

Why wouldn’t I, when it changed my life??"

Is there dignity in humility? 

Is there dignity in humiliation? 

Initially, you might think not. 

But then we have to take a moment to consider the cross.

An excruciating death, reserved not for Roman citizens, but for rebels and slaves... 

because it was

SO 

SO

humiliating.

And yet, the God of glory, the One who DESERVES all glory and honor... 

HUMILIATED

Himself not only to come as a baby,

giving up His power,

constraining Himself to human form,

and giving up His rights in an infinite number of ways...

to then suffer the humiliation, the pain... 

for the joy set before Him. 

Not because we deserved it,

...but because it is a testament to HIS surrender to the Father's will that He endured the cross. 

This is why you are humble and a servant to your spouse,

...because humility is the VERY dignity of Jesus. 

Humility is what Jesus Himself modeled. 

Why do you close your mouth when you want to criticize your spouse?

Why do you pause instead of, "let them have it," when they deserve to be dressed down for their bad behavior?

Why do you go out of your way to make them feel special, even though they haven't done it for you? 

Why do you forgive them for the pain they have caused you? 

Why are you joyful even though they don't add to it in the ways they know you'd love?

Because you are walking in the humility that Jesus Himself invites you to. 

Every single day, in your marriage, you are invited to walk in His humility. 

What does humility look like?

Jesus.

Was He a pushover? No.

Was He passive? No.

But was He an extravagant servant? Most definitely.

So, are there boundaries to humility? Yes. 

I invite you to have a curious heart if God has something for you here. 

I reference the book "Humility," by Andrew Murray, a lot in this episode. I also reference the Bible a lot. (I highly recommend it :)

Love & Blessings,

Belah

PS - Have you already downloaded our intimacy framework so that you can love your spouse the way they receive love? If not, go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework

PPS - Are you ready to be the spouse God has called you to be, but need some guidance about what that looks like? To schedule a free Clarity Call, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if our programs could be what you need.

A Graduate's Testimonial:

"I would recommend this program to a fellow Christian who is looking to make their marriage better in all aspects. The intimacy aspect is important but there were so many other ideas and realizations around other ways to better my marriage.

I appreciate so much Belah's enthusiasm and honesty. There is a lot of great info and expertise in here. She did an amazing job propping guys up and being positive which was infectious!"

"It's my spouse who needs to change."

If you've said this or thought this...you are right. 

So now, no need to listen to anything because there's nothing for you to do but wait around in a grumpy mood 'til your spouse decides to do something. 

:)

Maybe there's another opportunity here. 

Maybe we can be (as our team member Kyle says) "playfully curious" about this response. 

Why do we assume it's all on our spouse? 

What questions are we... 

a-refusing to ask

b-unaware that we need to be asking

c-too distracted to think about it :)

(Oh, was that your email/TikTok/IG/Facebook/text message notification that just went off? :P )

Today's episode is to help you honestly look at where your marriage is, and discern if and how your partner is the issue.

And, if and how, with playful curiosity, you might have an opportunity in your situation, as well!

Love & Blessings,

Belah

PS If you want to see if we can help you in your marriage and honestly evaluate where you can work in your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call by clicking here.

Quote from Masculinity Reclaimed Graduate:

“I have spent much more money trying to rekindle my marriage with no results. I have 2 failed “Romantic Vacations” and a bathroom remodel to prove it. I spent less on this and had fantastic results. This might possibly be the best investment of my life."