He proposed to me over fast food in a parking lot. I think it might have been drizzling. 

Well he's not that man anymore. God has changed him. He has brought him in so many ways to a place that I could not have imagined were possible. Truly. 

I hope this podcast inspires you. I hope it empowers you to make the hard choices for yourself to see what God might want to allow you to think about. 

At the end I tell you about the amazing anniversary experience my husband gave me. And I tell you about the newly weds having the exact same experience but were much less enthused. 

I've extended the discount for 1 week! 1:1 Coaching with Belah is 30% off. Click here for details! 

This is Part 3 of Why we became romantic. I was a generous wife in intimacy and I felt loved in some areas, but I didn't feel loved outside of the bedroom. The romance on dates, the random gifts, the consistent compliments, the surprises were missing. 

(Part 1 is more of the theory behind it and Part 2 is the beginning of my discussion with my husband that exemplifies this process.)

• Being happy and pleasable makes my husband motivated to plan and give me big surprises 
• My husband takes note of "I would like" but rejects specific commands.
• "Its not what you say, its the way you say it."
• Deciding where to focus, the negatives are easy to remember.
• When you say it, it stays in the records. Encouragement "erases" the bad
• Before I surrendered I was in charge of the finances, and now that he is, we're much happier (less stress for me and more confidence for him)
• I am closest to my husband so I can affect him the most: in your self-conception, who you are in the world

Ultimately, Belah's husbands feel her changes caused the marriage to change. Caused him to change.

Resources: Emotionally Healthy Relationships Course; Financial Peace University, Surrendered Wife

1:1 Coaching with Belah is 30% off until Nov 24. Click here for details!

I encourage you to first listen to Part 1 here. Today, you get to hear the gory details of how awful I was...from my husband. He is giving you all the dirt on me, for your benefit (hopefully!). There's a ton of mistakes I made that I thought was helping, but was actually driving a severe wedge between us. I was making it impossible for him to love me in the ways I was desperate for him to love me.

God has taught me a ton in my marriage. But by God's grace, He continues to teach me. I thought I had it all figured out---but I had a lot more to learn. Through The Surrendered Wife book, I learned so much and I made important changes. But here's my journey of understanding, right from my own husband.

In part 2, you'll hear what was really going on behind closed doors.

• All the big mistakes I made which was wreaking havoc on my marriage though I had no idea.
• Why my husband didn't want to go to weddings & social events that I so desperately wanted him to attend.
• How my insecurity caused my husband to be more insecure and wanted to do less of the activities I really wanted them to do.
• How I would treat my husband at parties, when walking down the street, and even in public at the grocery store ;/
• Why he felt like I treated him like a child and why I felt like he was acting like a child.
• How I realized that the truth of this scripture - Eph 5:33 Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

There's a ton that has changed but it was a pretty muddy road, and I wonder if you might be able to relate or can hear how to avoid my mistakes.

1:1 Coaching with Belah is 30% off until Nov 24. Click here for details!

You may have thought you chose the right man when you were dating, but suddenly things changed when you got married. He stopped trying. He stopped woo-ing you and just took you for granted. When was the last time he took you on a date? Its so tough to feel that if he just tried a little you'd be happy.

Its an awful feeling. The good news is it can change with these steps. Its hard work on our end, but it makes big differences in the marriage. I was totally surprised to find out the very things I was doing that I thought was "helping" was actually pulling the rug out from under him. 

When I gave him advice, corrected, explained and taught him...he took that to mean I thought he was stupid. When I critiqued and guided for next time...he felt the rug was pulled out from under him, criticized and that there was no pleasing me. So why try?

The key principles: husbands want to be respected. Women want to be cherished. Does your craving for real intimacy in your marriage win, over your need to be in control? Lets chat this through in this episode. 

delightyourmarriage.com for 30% off on coaching for this month only!