He proposed to me over fast food in a parking lot. I think it might have been drizzling.
Well he's not that man anymore. God has changed him. He has brought him in so many ways to a place that I could not have imagined were possible. Truly.
I hope this podcast inspires you. I hope it empowers you to make the hard choices for yourself to see what God might want to allow you to think about.
At the end I tell you about the amazing anniversary experience my husband gave me. And I tell you about the newly weds having the exact same experience but were much less enthused.
I've extended the discount for 1 week! 1:1 Coaching with Belah is 30% off. Click here for details!
This is Part 3 of Why we became romantic. I was a generous wife in intimacy and I felt loved in some areas, but I didn't feel loved outside of the bedroom. The romance on dates, the random gifts, the consistent compliments, the surprises were missing.
(Part 1 is more of the theory behind it and Part 2 is the beginning of my discussion with my husband that exemplifies this process.)
Ultimately, Belah's husbands feel her changes caused the marriage to change. Caused him to change.
I encourage you to first listen to Part 1 here. Today, you get to hear the gory details of how awful I was...from my husband. He is giving you all the dirt on me, for your benefit (hopefully!). There's a ton of mistakes I made that I thought was helping, but was actually driving a severe wedge between us. I was making it impossible for him to love me in the ways I was desperate for him to love me.
God has taught me a ton in my marriage. But by God's grace, He continues to teach me. I thought I had it all figured out---but I had a lot more to learn. Through The Surrendered Wife book, I learned so much and I made important changes. But here's my journey of understanding, right from my own husband.
In part 2, you'll hear what was really going on behind closed doors.
There's a ton that has changed but it was a pretty muddy road, and I wonder if you might be able to relate or can hear how to avoid my mistakes.
You may have thought you chose the right man when you were dating, but suddenly things changed when you got married. He stopped trying. He stopped woo-ing you and just took you for granted. When was the last time he took you on a date? Its so tough to feel that if he just tried a little you'd be happy.
Its an awful feeling. The good news is it can change with these steps. Its hard work on our end, but it makes big differences in the marriage. I was totally surprised to find out the very things I was doing that I thought was "helping" was actually pulling the rug out from under him.
When I gave him advice, corrected, explained and taught him...he took that to mean I thought he was stupid. When I critiqued and guided for next time...he felt the rug was pulled out from under him, criticized and that there was no pleasing me. So why try?
The key principles: husbands want to be respected. Women want to be cherished. Does your craving for real intimacy in your marriage win, over your need to be in control? Lets chat this through in this episode.