Oh, the pain of frustration, being consistently misunderstood, and having your needs (legitimate needs) consistently trampled upon.
Both Jerry and Joyce felt it. And Jerry desperately looked for answers. Delight Your Marriage wasn't his first program -- but unfortunately, the other one gave advice that almost drove his wife to a nervous breakdown.
Jerry didn't get out of his marriage, though his frustration level (due to his hurt) was through the roof.
The pain was so deep for her, she couldn't even attend the church he pastored.
Joyce was considering separation and even talking with lawyers.
But then Jerry decided to give Delight Your Marriage a try.
Now... a year later, Joyce not only loves her husband again, but "likes him," too.
("Liking" your spouse can be way harder than "loving" them.)
She's actually looking forward to raising their small children together and is happy even being a pastor's wife now.
The healing that has taken place in just over a year, is now impacting every single person in their ministry and family life.
God is amazing and we give Him all the credit for this transformation!
We are honored He has used the programs of Delight Your Marriage to help bring about these changes for them.
If you're at a similar place (or not quite as extreme), then know there is hope for you, too.
There is a price for change like this -- effort, time, financial investment, energy, courage, humility and even getting uncomfortable --
But take it from Joyce...
It is worth it.
Your next step is to get on a Clarity Call ( delightyourmarriage.com/cc ) to discover how to change you that will impact all those around you (and specifically your marriage).
PS - Seriously... It's time to discover how you can be the change agent God wants to use to turn your marriage around, so you love AND like your spouse.
Have a free Clarity Call to gain insight and discern your next steps: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
PPS - If you know a marriage that needs hope like this, will you take the courage and care to forward this episode on? You may be saving a family and faith community in the process.
Quote from a course graduate:
"The things that I’ve learned are really priceless when it comes to my marriage… When I first started this program it seemed like my wife didn’t even want to talk to me, much less make love to me. Man how things have changed...The changes that I see in my wife are nothing short of a miracle, she has went from being cold and callous, To warm and loving!"
Join us for an inspiring conversation with Jenny, a loving housewife and mother of four from Finland. In this episode, Jenny shares her remarkable transformation journey and the positive impact it had on her marriage.
Previously working as a nurse before having kids, Jenny and her husband made a conscious decision to prioritize their family and serve the Lord in a unique way. Through their involvement in a discipleship-making movement, they found Delight Your Marriage, a program that brought significant changes to their lives.
Jenny's husband initially joined the men's program and experienced a profound transformation (from her perspective as the wife). Encouraged by his progress, Jenny recognized her own need for growth and decided to embark on her own journey. She realized that she had lost touch with her own needs while prioritizing the needs of her family, often neglecting her spiritual well-being.
But she realized she was busy and God spoke to her heart that she was being a "Martha" far more than a "Mary."
Through the Delighted Wife program, Jenny discovered the importance of immersing herself in the Word of God, prayer, and worship. These foundational habits reignited her passion for the Lord, restoring her joy for her children, and enabling her to share the Gospel with others.
One significant change in Jenny's transformation was her renewed desire for intimacy in her marriage.
As she developed a deeper understanding of how women and men were designed, thanks to participation in the program, Jenny felt more comfortable expressing her needs to him.
By cultivating new habits and taking small steps, Jenny found her way back to a more fulfilling and vibrant spiritual life.
She shares her story as an example of how investing in one's marriage, time with God, and meditating on the Word of God can lead to profound transformation. If you're longing for a more joyful, intimate, and fulfilling marriage, Jenny's story is sure to inspire you.
To hear Jenny's full story and learn more about her transformation journey, listen to the complete interview on this episode.
If you're ready to take the next step in your own marriage, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and discover how Delight Your Marriage can help you experience a delightful and intimate marriage like never before.
Remember, your marriage is a precious gift that deserves your investment and attention.
Don't miss out on the incredible transformation possible when you prioritize your relationship and embrace personal growth.
Delight Your Marriage team
PS - Ready to experience a delightful and intimate marriage? Take the next step towards transforming your relationship by signing up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc today.
Discover how Delight Your Marriage can empower you to cultivate a deep and fulfilling connection with your spouse.
Quote from a program grad:
"If you're committed to the program and make it a priority, you can be truly successful! Bella has changed our marriage in a really special way."
Mother's Day is almost here! (This Sunday!)
Make sure the mom in your life is getting treated really nicely! She is WONDERFUL and deserves to be celebrated!
I have a wonderful mom.
She sacrificed so much for me. I am forever in her debt.
As a mom myself... I believe sacrificing to be a good mom brings her greater joy than if she had never sacrificed at all.
Sacrifice. Duty. Responsibility.
Sounds antiquated, old-fashioned, and maybe even oppressive...?
Am I morally obligated to take care of my kids?
Did I assume the responsibility for their well-being when my husband and I enjoyed...
"actions with procreative potential"...
which (happily) resulted in a child?
I would submit the answer is "yes."
I now lay down Feelings and pick up a life built upon proper values.
Hopefully, your mom did the same... otherwise, it would have been a very difficult existence for you.
The nature of a mother: assuming a role and duty to care for those souls entrusted to her.
What does this have to do with wives?
In today's society, we often hear that women should only make love if they Feel like it.
And they might say it's bad to make love when you don't naturally desire it. When you don't Feel like it.
If I used that logic in caring for my children... only when I Feel like it, they'd justly arrest me for child neglect.
I am a self-centered, selfish, self-focused, narcissist if I am led by Feelings.
Feelings are not my guide.
How do I know who Jesus is, so I know what He is like, and what He wants of me?
Is there any other source that clarifies who and what Jesus asks of me better than the Bible?
If all that is true... why is it we (ok... maybe it's just me :) struggle like this...
Feel down, follow by: laying on the couch...with a bag of Cheetos
Feel anxious, follow by: distracting my worries by scrolling through interesting video clips
Feel tired / annoyed / down / uncomfortable / frumpy / fat / unattractive / undesireable / lazy / anxious / stressed / cramped / worried / distracted / entertained / even happy..., follow by: heading straight to bed avoiding all manner of intimacy... at all costs.
At times, my mouth says: "Jesus is my King,"
but in real life: "my Feelings rule".
(These all certainly have been true, but when I repent sincerely and come back to Jesus' way, He has helped me to stop following the tempting Feelings less and less.)
We all need to live by our values from the Bible.
The Bible becomes the standard for life and there are a lot of important things about marriage, marital sacrifice, and the purpose of marital intimacy.
It would be worthwhile to look these up: Matt 19:4-6, Mark 10:6-9, Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Timothy 5:14, Romans 13:13-14, Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7, Hebrews 13:4.... and that's just the New Testament!
I assume the responsibility of taking care of my children, to fulfill the role of Mom.
I assume the responsibility of taking care of my husband, to fulfill the role of Wife.
This is not following the world's definition of happiness.
It is true happiness.
This is in God's will.
This is following Jesus.
Happy Mother's Day!
I bet you wouldn't wish you followed Feelings more and sacrificed less to follow Jesus... in your role as a Mom.
I invite us both to hold that same standard for your role as a Wife.
You have sacrificed well, happily, and joyfully...and it is worth it! :)
Bravo & thank you!
The precious souls in your care, thank you!
PS If applying this thought process toward your spouse feels
convicting, we understand and have been there, too. We're here to help...if you want help, schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Do Delight Your Marriage programs help? That's a fair question...here's another graduate quote to give you hope:
Before the program challenges were:
"low sex drive, no physical pleasure from sex, pressure to have sex often, resentful of having to have sex often, insecure body image"
After the program:
"I now look forward to sex, enjoy it physically, am able to seduce my husband, and we both feeling amazingly satisfied all the time!!"
Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
This title was hard to come up with.
Essentially, I want you to have the tools and mindset to figure out how to set boundaries with yourself and with others when needed.
Jesus was the servant of all.
He came to serve not to be served.
He was the most humble and meek.
And yet, Jesus set boundaries.
Here are a couple, but once you read this, you'll probably not be able to read a parable or look at the life of Jesus without noticing His leaning into boundaries over and over again.
Jesus disappointed people because his priority was God over people
In Mark 1:35-39,
In Matthew 16:21-23,
Jesus tells his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and scribes. Peter rebukes him, saying that this should never happen to him.
Jesus responds by telling Peter that he is setting his mind on human things rather than God's things and calls him a hindrance.
In Luke 14:25-33,
Jesus sets the boundary of the cost of discipleship. He says anyone who wants to follow him, essentially compared to their love for Jesus, must hate their family and even their own life. They must carry their own cross, and give up all their possessions.
If they're not willing to pay this price, they can't follow him.
In John 2:13-17,
Jesus clears the temple of the money changers and merchants, telling them to stop making his Father's house a marketplace.
He shows anger and uses physical force to set this boundary.
Jesus was the servant of all but did not allow anyone to trod on boundaries.
So, what if you are trodding on God's boundaries?
What if your spouse wants to trod on the boundaries set by God?
Should you set boundaries with yourself?
Should you set boundareis with your spouse?
If so, how?
Is there a way to have a generous heart and a kind spirit and yet set a firm boundary?
This conversation goes into these things that are HARD to tease through.
I don't think I have it all right.
This is a topic that I feel a bit reticent to release. And I think it will require prayer as you discern how it applies to you.
And what your next steps are.
Love & Blessings,
PS - Let us know if this topic spoke to you and if we can help, email us at belah at delightyourmarriage.com
PPS - Quote from a program graduate:
“I have become a delighted, playful wife that enjoys and desires sex.
My relationship to the Lord, my husband and our daughter has become more intimate.”