You might think your marriage is too far gone. There is too much strife, emotional and mental abuse, painful memories, WAY too much baggage to ever recover. 

I encourage you to review this entire series and take a journey with me on this episode.

Maybe we've been looking at this whole marriage thing all wrong. And we've been looking at what it means to be man and woman wrong too?

What is the masculine nature? What is the feminine nature? Can a man have both, can a woman have both? 

Is this a sacrilegious framework?

Well, I think there is a ton of biblical precedence for thinking of men and women as possessing both masculine and feminine natures and both are good, should be respected and honored. I'm going to share that here. 

I want to talk about how this shows up in my own marriage specifically and how it can radically change yours!

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Jump on a 40min clarity call with me so we can sort this stuff out. What is going on in your marriage and how can we get to the bottom of it to truly, deeply transform the lives of you, your spouse, your children and what God wants of you in this world! Delightyourmarriage.com/call

1 in 4 women this year will be sexually abused. You may never know who... your sister, best friend, daughter, mother, wife...

You may have been the victim. I'm so sorry for your pain and what you have been through. You are not alone and you do not need to feel shame any longer. 

Today's podcast is to help all women process the pain of abuse. I think it affects all of us whether we ourselves have experienced it or not, we live in a culture where that is the norm...

• When was the last news show you were able to get through without hearing at least one incident of violence against a woman?
• 1 in 5 searches on the internet are for pornography and 90% of pornography is violent towards women.
• Most women who have been abused are not believed even if they have the courage to speak out--so most stay silent.

Here's what I cover:

• Why are women abused? 
• Why the shaming question she is always asking herself: "why didn't I know better?" or "she was asking for it" isn't her fault based on her God-given nature
• My experiences with sexual abuse
• Why I think it's vital that we continue to understand women's experiences and give them a voice and let them know we hear them and believe them 
• Why we all need to be speaking about it and not expect only the victims to

How does it affect your marriages...

• What if you have sex without wanting it in your marriage? Why that makes you feel abused even though it might not actually abused

• It affects sex, her feelings of safety and I have some specific guidance for that (get my specific guide referenced on the show! Send me a message to get the Connection Session Guide here: belah@delightyourmarriage.com)

Here's what is covered in today's episode

• There are a ton of "submit" verses in the Bible. 
  • They were used to abuse me in my first marriage.
  • I think these also have made men feel that they had the right to abuse & justify their actions with the misuse of these scriptures.
• But what people don't realize is they are reading the Bible (and even translations of the Bible) through a patriarchial lense.
  • Don't believe me?
  • What does "help-meet" mean?
    • This word which Eve is supposed to be to Adam.
    • Well, it's not the supporting, secondary, servant role you may have always thought.
    • The original word in Hebrew is "ezer kenegedo". Ezer is used 21x in the Old Testament
      • When speaking of Eve 2x in Genesis, it's translated as "help" 
      • Three times it is used to describe a powerful nation that comes to save the nation of Israel from their enemies
      • The other 16x it's used to describe God as a military warrior, the powerful savior, giving  desperate salvation from foes
      • Is that how you see women?
      • Is that how you see yourself?
• What if more verses are viewed through this patriarchial lense and we just aren't aware?
• What scriptural references do we KNOW for sure speak of female leadership even in the New Testament (sprinkled among the books including "wives submit to husbands" verses are found):
  
  • Woman apostle
  • Paul honoring the 10 out of 28 people who have been colaborers
  • Woman deacons

• As a feminist myself, this material breaths life to my soul

• BUT, what if there IS something to this "submitting" thing in the 21st century, Christian marriages with powerful, feminist women...?
• What if there's an empowering message for both men and women when done "right"?
• This is a morsel of a much larger conversation, but God-willing it will leave all of us with a bit more of a softened heart to where God may be leading us.

This isn't easy territory, but I pray that it is an eye-opening episode for every listener. 

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It was my husband's birthday this week and I'm asking every listener to take 5 minutes to review the show!

If you're not sure how, here's a link for delightyourmarriage.com/itunes