Solomon. The wisest man in the whole world. Ever. Fell to sex.
David. The man after God's own heart. Fell to sex.
Samson. The real-life superhero. Fell to sex.
Falling to sex is something men have done for a long time...
AND each was severely punished.
1 Cor 10:8
We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died...
These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us...
12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!
13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted d beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
For your own sake (much less for the sake of everyone who knows you follow Jesus) get humble.
Humble yourself while the monster is one inch tall. Confess the internet search, the extended browsing, the questionable conversation, the __________________________....
Get humble at the earliest warning level.
Run into the light. Share it exactly with your brother or sister (not co-ed).
You have an opportunity to get healed.
Put crazy strong boundaries in place.
Every man in our community... be open with your sin to another man.
Every woman in our community... be open with your sin to another woman.
Let's not end up with their consequences...
Humble yourself.
Be specific.
Own your sin.
Confess it to another person.
Fully repent.
Allow them to pray for you.
Submit yourself to their accountability and humble yourself over and over again...
...that you may be healed.
Listen in to today's extra short (since it's a Monday) podcast.
Belah
PS - If you want our help, feel free to go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for more info.
Today's story is by a wonderful man who needed help to receive the intimacy he was really hoping for.
As a person who believed in Jesus and was serious about the Word of God, the lack of intimacy in his marriage was not something he was willing to find a sinful outlet for.
Instead, he had heard of Delight Your Marriage and began listening to the podcast. After listening for several years, he decided to sign up for the men’s program when it began to be offered.
The first time he went through the 3-month program, he learned, implemented, and saw results!
He saw some great changes in his marriage.
But after a year, he realized it wasn't enough.
So, he did it again...
I invite you to hear what his changes have been this time around, after he had a foundation to build from and really finetune his shifts. He's got some exciting things to share as a result of his second round of the program…an even greater progression of growth in his marriage.
If you've done "all the things" but haven't seen your marriage change, I invite you to listen to David's story...
God is still changing hearts and lives, marriages, and families.
God bless you,
Belah
PS - Could your marriage change? What do you have to lose…and potentially gain? We invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc.
Graduate quote:
Before the program: “Coming in, I knew my wife felt that I was unsafe for her, and that she felt alone and unknown by me. On my end, I felt deeply regretful of marrying her, angry with her, and hopeless to ever have a joyful marriage. I felt totally unattracted to her and trapped.
I became very depressed as a result of our unhappy marriage feeling like a life sentence that couldn't improve. The inability I felt to do anything positive in my marriage made me hesitant and unconfident in my vocation as a minister. I felt like I had zero positive influence with my own wife, so how could I have any influence with others that I hoped to point to Christ or build a trusting relationship with. Even more so, my role as a dad and as a friend to others was constricted by how small and worthless I felt.”
After the program: “I've seen progress in almost every area. I have grown in my own perspective on my wife. This has stunned me, and given me more hope than I've ever felt. The faith-statements, the forgiveness exercises, and the daily gratitudes have made an enormous change inside me. The ways my wife saw me as unsafe and unsatisfied all seemed from my heart of anger and ungratefulness toward her. Forgiveness toward her has softened my heart, and the daily gratitude has accumulated to change my attitude toward her, even in a daily way. I sincerely have a delight toward her that I've not felt in over a decade.”
You may be one who is really good about getting yourself filled up in order to be your best for your spouse.
But for the rest of us, this episode is for you.
I think we know that we cannot give what we do not have.
But that doesn't stop us from trying (and failing often...Oh, how many times I have been there!)
Then my stressed feelings take over and I am not kind or loving to my highest priority human, ehemm, my spouse.
I want to encourage you that God is one who can fill your cup. But you have to discipline yourself and make room for him to renew and refresh you.
Ultimately, your spouse cannot satisfy. God does.
We want to get filled up with him and from that overflow, we bring our best to serving our spouse.
Love,
Belah
PS - How can we help you?
From some people who graduated recently (not married to each other).
Women's program:
Before: There wasn’t peace at home, kids constantly see us arguing, I didn’t want to be at home...My husband was extremely resentful of me. I’ve lost respect for him. Was close to divorce.
After: Impacted everything, it turned everything around. My husband is now loving, patient, caring, and a very present and patient father.
Husband's program:
Before: There were many big marital struggles. Coming in, I knew my wife felt that I was unsafe for her, and that she felt alone and unknown by me. On my end, I felt deeply regretful of marrying her, angry with her, and hopeless to ever have a joyful marriage. I felt totally unattracted to her and trapped.
After: I've seen progress in almost every area. I have grown in my own perspective on my wife. This has stunned me, and given me more hope than I've ever felt. I sincerely have a delight toward her that I've not felt in over a decade.
Wow, I can't begin to think of improving it. It's amazing.
PPS - If you're ready for these changes. Who knows, maybe this'll be you in 3 months?
delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn more.
He's been a Christian for many years, yet couldn't seem to "crack" how people transform. He knew he wasn't where God would want him to be, but couldn't figure out how to get there.
He had followed Delight Your Marriage for years and applied what he picked up, but it didn't seem to move the needle.
Finally, he decided it was time and joined.
He started seeing changes in himself and changes in his walk with God. And he was thrilled to discover a community of men that was, in his words, "extraordinary."
He learned to be a man of God in a real sense alongside other men growing, as well.
He finally felt unstuck. I hope this is encouraging and inspiring to you as well.
Blessings,
Belah
PS - If you're a wife or a husband, I encourage you to sign up for a Clarity Call to see how you, too, can witness this kind of transformation in yourself and in your marriage.
From a wife graduate who also felt stuck:
"Coming into the program, I felt stuck. My marriage was 1 year into recovery from my husband's infidelity, and though we had been counseling and working on moving forward, I felt like we hadn't made much progress.
I had a major lack of joy and felt depleted emotionally and physically. I was unable to be the mom I wanted to be, and certainly wasn't able to love my husband well (though I wanted to!)"
After the program: "The trajectory of my life has changed in a dramatic way. I feel more sure of the direction my life is heading. I am no longer allowing emotion or fear to control the direction of my life. I want my GPS to be the Bible, and Jesus as the driver. I am sure that God is trustworthy and capable and I am growing in allowing him space to work. I have grown in my character, my life goals are more aligned with God's, and I believe I am being obedient to God's will in my marriage."