Our society today so often wants to ignore God's design and essentially forget the fear of the Lord.
But, he made men and women in His image and those uniquenesses are incredible!
Physiological, psychological, emotional, and sexual...UNIQUE.
Each of our uniquenesses is God's glory revealed.
It's our opportunity to search out His glory through each other.
And it makes sense that the enemy wants to undermine God's design in every way that he can.
One way is pretending that we're the same.
Why is this bad?
Well, husbands assume their wives are intentionally hurting them because she is "withholding" love (in the unique way he receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction.
And wives assume their husbands are intentionally hurting them because he is "withholding" love (in the unique way she receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction.
But if we start with the perspective:
My spouse, my "ezer kə·neḡ·dōw" (from Gen 2:18), is WILDLY different than me because God made him/her that way.
They desire, love, enjoy, crave completely different things than I do---let me discover what those things are!
In sum: assume you are completely different than your spouse and that you can learn how to love them the way they receive love.
"Making love" rather than having sex is a vital piece. Listen in to learn more.
I'm praying and rooting for you in this!
PS - Men: your free masterclass is right around the corner starting October 11 (don't miss it, add it to your calendar!) and sign up delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass
Pastor Nathan's wife had abuse/trauma growing up that severely inhibited her sexual desire and affection with him.
They were good people and she wanted to love him well, but couldn't because of her past.
And her libido was SO low.
Pastor Nathan went through the Masculinity Reclaimed program and his wife transformed before his eyes.
(She didn't do a program).
His favorite moment was when he said after a very passionate experience and he said "thank you"--she responded "well, it was because I wanted it so badly"!
Pastor Todd & Donna had a great marriage. (Donna joined him for this interview!)
They come from a long line of pastors and are very busy doing a lot for others.
And it was really good -- but intimacy was physically painful for Donna and she also had low drive.
Pastor Todd joined the MR program (almost by accident) and he felt like he didn't belong there because everyone seemed to have it much worse.
And he felt that her physical pain wasn't because of him at all.
But, he took a step of faith and signed up. She didn't do a program.
BUT... through the program SHE started initiating way more than ever and she didn't even notice.
She started enjoying it more and their marriage has flourished!
He has a Masters in Family Life Ministry said in an email to me:
"My wife and I have been to and led MANY Christian marriage conferences and retreats and
Bible studies and have watched many marriage videos and read many books and I have done
pre-marriage counseling with couples in my role as a pastor and camp director, but I have never
experienced anything as comprehensive and effective as Masculinity Reclaimed!"
Excited for you to hear these two mens' stories, as professionals in the field God has used MR to help their own marriages and I am SO honored, humbled and grateful.
PS - If you want to see what MR is all about and get some fantastic free training, sign up for the Free Men's Masterclass coming up next month: October 11, 2021 ( delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass )
This is the next part of Communication Secrets and I think it's an important addendum.
We talk about what to do when you're disappointed with your spouse.
When you want them to change.
When you feel they were irresponsible.
I have two examples for you:
1 - When a friend was irresponsible and God brought conviction even when He kept me from saying anything.
2 - When I was irresponsible (I know---unbelievable!) and God brought conviction even when my husband didn't say anything.
I hope this brings you encouragement, direction, and skills as you attempt to live God's way in your marriage.
PS - The free Masterclass is coming up soon (for a limited time) and I encourage you to sign up ASAP so you don't miss it! delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass
PPS - I'm excited to invite you to an "Intimacy Secrets Summit" that I was honored to be a part of. A superstar cast of intimacy experts that I would encourage you to get a seat with! Coming up next week!