Productiveness IS  good, but we forget that we're not just human doers -- we're also human beings.

Take the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was working hard and being productive FOR JESUS. Mary was calmly sitting, being still and LISTENING TO JESUS. Both were Godly women. And Jesus even defended Mary for “choosing the good part” when Martha accused her of not DOING.

Consider how Jesus modeled JOY and DELIGHT --  not just productivity. He certainly “did” a lot, but he also had breakfast with his friends, ate dinner and drank wine (sometimes he was even accused of being a drunkard!) and little children ran to him. He must have been pretty enjoyable to be around if even little children want to run up to the revered Rabbi.

If you are ALWAYS thinking that "God wants me to be productive. I need to do this and that..." then I challenge you to sit back, listen to Him, and just take delight in His presence.

We can also apply this to our sex lives. What if sex was fun and filled you up? And it's not just about sex. Being FUN and PLAYFUL in the bedroom EXTENDS to how you interact with your husband daily.  

In this podcast episode, you'll discover...

• Why sex can actually be fun!
• Sex doesn't have to be miserable - I encourage you to reverse it even if you've endured it for years and years!  
• It can still be passionate, playful, purposeful --- like how it was in the beginning!

How does fun and playful sex affect us:

• We empathize easier with our husbands and other people too
• We rewire our brains to see, think, and do as God wants us to
• When we’re not constantly doing and we have margin in our lives that comes through playing

We serve a God that loves us. He want us to know that:

• His love is deeper and wider and truer than we can imagine.
• He truly wants us to enjoy our lives.
• He created physical stimuli like laughing when we are tickled. Why? Because all the joys we feel when hugged, kissed, or touched --- it is proof of God's unfathomable deep and true love for us.

SCARED to START BEING PLAYFUL? I'm curious where that fear is coming from? I have Clarity Calls set up especially to get at the root of how you feel underneath the behavior.  

If you go to www.dym.as.me for a 40-Minute FREE conversation with me to understand where you are in your marriage.

If you're distraught or even if you're on the edge of divorce, by God's grace, a Clarity Call may be exactly what you need to gain hope and discern next steps FOR YOU.

Words are important. They can cause a wildfire or a passionate flame in your bedroom.

Outside of the bedroom:

• We can be hurtful and careless with our words and say “Oh he’s my husband”. Does that sound familiar? But is he really JUST your husband? That is God’s son you’re dealing with.

• If you want to get your words in line with God’s will, one of the first things that needs to be done is to APOLOGIZE. Just get it out of the way. It’s hard, especially if it’s not part of the culture of your marriage. But it’ll get easier the more you do it!

• When words are on purpose, intentional, and aligned with what God wants your husband to hear, then it’s easy to truly become ONE FLESH. Generous lovemaking becomes more natural to both of you.

Now onto the SEXY STUFF:

• What CAN you say in sex?
• Is God okay with you saying seductive phrases to your husband?
• Could God even WANT you both to use your words to turn each other on?
• What is going to encourage the bond between you and your husband?
• If he's aroused and you’re not (and vice versa!) --- how do you turn each other on?
• If you have a higher drive -- it's not your fault--but what actions can you take?
• What about fantasy, sexy texts, and whispering attractive things in his ears?
• So you might say “but I feel like I'm just FAKING IT?” or “It’s not my personality”. There’s plenty you can do!

Sexy language is going to feel silly at first. Just like when you study a new language! As you practice it, you get less awkward and you’ll push through and take courage in your marriage bed!

Resources:

• I want to invite you on a FREE 40-minute Clarity Call with me if these are things that you struggle with and you feel very far away from being able to feel free in your sexual intimacy. It is extremely gratifying when you have the sexual intimacy you and he crave! Go to this website to schedule a chat with me: http://www.dym.as.me/

• What happens at Clarity Calls? Well, we dig deep into what the issues are and I’ll listen and take notes. We're going to talk about your dreams and desires and we would go through what would it look like to bridge the gap. I'm going to determine if you would be the right fit for my program and talk through the details and maybe invite you to be one of the few clients I take on this month.

A lot of women are under the impression that they need to share everything with their husbands. In fact, they say this is being “honest”.

I disagree. In EVERY marriage (yes, even VERY good ones), there are many things that are not (and should not) be shared. No one needs to share about tons of bathroom stuff---yuck, not sexy. But there are tons of other things that just wouldn’t be useful, helpful, godly, respectful, kind or many other reasons to share.

AND it depends on what level of the Marriage Health Spectrum your marriage is to determine what you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT share.

If your marriage is awful right now, you shouldn't SHARE what someone who has an awesome marriage can share. You have to be strategic with what you do and do not share. SO that it can BECOME an awesome marriage.

Find out...

• Where your marriage is on the Marriage Health Spectrum
• • Considering that, does he--your husband--deserve “your heart”?
  • How can you still be the faithful, generous wife AND guard your heart?
• HOW to respond to heartbreaking adulterous situations strategically, like affairs or addictions to pornography
• • If you don’t want to lose your marriage, HOW your react is vital!
• WHAT we can learn from Esther, the woman who changed the heart of the King!
• • Can you believe sex was involved?
• How to transform zero-affection marriages and get to a place where you're doing God's will in this life
• How to respond to your husband when he hurts you…
• • Hurt people HURT PEOPLE
• Understand how your husband is motivated, how he is designed so you can work with that and help him become the man, God wants him to be.
• • And the man that supports you, loves you, allows you to be fulfilled and do God's work

Resources:

• Jump on a free 40-minute Clarity Call with me. To schedule, go to: www.dym.as.me
• IF I think I can help you, then I'll share with you what the 90-Day Delighted Wife Program looks like!