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Delight Your Marriage

Husbands and wives were designed to be different. You want different things in marriage and intimacy on every level (emotional, spiritual, and physical). Whether you're a wife or a husband, whether you're suffering or pretty good... and you're looking for Bible-based insights and scriptural practical guidance on how to transform your marriage, you've found the right podcast! We have "transformation stories" that will inspire hope that putting into practice these principles, by God's grace, can truly change your intimacy completely. If you're looking to see how to transform your marriage sign up for a free Clarity Call, we can hear your story and work with you to determine if we are confident we can help you: https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc
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Now displaying: 2023

Head over to delightyourmarriage.com for your free gift!

Dec 30, 2023

In approaching the new year, I invite you to rewind your calendar and consider...your marital performance in 2023.

What if I asked your spouse what it was like being married to YOU this past year?

Yikes!

If my spouse chose to be fully open and honest I think I'd have plenty of... ehemmm... "growth-opportunities". :)

 

Seriously though... feel free to go back through your calendar and check out what your priorities were throughout the year.

Day by day. Week by week. Month by month.

What was it like being married to YOU?

 

If marriage is your first human assignment, was that reflected in...

How you spent your time?

How you spoke/listened to them?

How you spent your energy?

 

How you loved them the way he or she receives love?

 

Assume you're looking at your year through your spouse's eyes.

What were your challenges of the year?

What were the things you should celebrate?

 

Now that you have thought through that...

We all know marriages are under attack, so what are you doing about it in your own home? You want it strong to withstand the challenges.

& If you're a pastor or ministry leader, what are you doing about this for your flock or in your organization?

(Aside: We have some exciting resources for ministry leaders that we'll be sharing with you in upcoming communications -- make sure you're on our email list to get notifications.)

 

In this episode, I have some practical next steps and things to ponder as you're setting out into this fresh year.

 

Love & Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - We'd love to help heal your marriage in 2024 (as has happened many times before), feel free to take us up on our gift to you: Clarity Call. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

 

Dec 22, 2023

As we are soon gathering together with loved ones to celebrate the Savior's birth, I would love for you to remember what life is all about. 

When we meet Jesus face to face, what do we want to be true of us?

In today's episode, I walk you through a meditation I did with our men's graduate group a couple of months ago. 

It is really meant to give you a chance to consider eternity. What is Christmas really about? 

It's about Jesus. And are we living in light of His life, will and ultimate sacrifice. 

I invite you to listen in and gain more insight into what you want that day to be. Because we are Delight Your Marriage we focus a lot on marriage, but we will all stand before Jesus one day and this is good practice :)

 

Love, 

Belah

PS - Maybe you're considering launching into a healing season for your marriage in the New Year -- if so, sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - A recent lady graduate: 

"Years ago I prayed to God for a short life. I didn't want to break my marriage vow, but I didn't see how I could be happy with him and it was getting harder as the children became adults.

Death seemed to be the only acceptable answer. I was obviously very unhappy. 

Now I enjoy spending time with him, look forward to dates and vacations, and we laugh and work things out together. I believe we are a great team! It's a miracle that we enjoy and like each other again.

Physical intimacy is better than ever. He cares about me and I feel secure. When we come together physically, we feel closer and both of us look forward to it!

I miss him when he gets busy with work and would be devastated if something happened to him."

Maybe you're transformation is next. Learn more in a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Dec 15, 2023

It's hard to discern (or even admit) if we are obsessed. 

So here's the definition: 

"an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind."

Is your marriage an obsession? 

Or is God's will an obsession? (And your marriage is an important part of God's will for you.)

I encourage you to consider what God's will is for you in this next season.

It's all about priorities. 

If God is your first priority then everything else falls underneath. 

He puts all of our lives into perspective. 

Marriage shouldn't put all of our lives in perspective. It must be God first, then we can rightly serve our spouse well.

I want to invite you to rightly obsess over God's will and put marriage in its proper place so that it's healed and somewhat on "autopilot" so you can get on with God's will for your life. 

Listen in to understand more about what this means for you.

(I have an exciting announcement included in our conversation today, I'd love for you to hear it!) 

Love, 
Belah

PS - If you're in a really hard place or even a really great place, I encourage you to get on a Clarity Call. 

Maybe (as a gent emailed me today) your marriage is a 10, but you feel you need to take this course because YOU need to become the man/woman your spouse needs, then we'd love to help. 

delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

A recent grad shared: (we try to never reuse testimonial quotes in multiple emails jfyi)

“I've grown a lot spiritually, I had thought that I had always been a pretty good Christian...but realized that I was very selective in when and how I followed God's word. I feel a lot closer to God, and now realize that I can't really do marriage well on my own and truly need Him. 

The program was great! It so aligned with what I needed...

If people seem stuck, don't hesitate to push...I know we should take that initiative ourselves but sometimes a spark or catalyst can help. 

I really believe in what you're doing...it's the best program out there… and think this program can really help a lot of people."

Learn more at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Dec 8, 2023

After 33 years of marriage, they were disconnected. 

At that point, they were sleeping in separate bedrooms. 

Maybe you're at a spot where it's hard to have hope because it has been SO hard for SO long. 

Jacques is here to say, even when only you do the work, it can change. 

Glory to God. 

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Could your marriage be one of the next ones to transform? Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. You don't have to, but what if you do?

 

Quote from a client...

Before the program: "My biggest struggle coming into MR was openness with my wife about what I was thinking and feeling and fear of asking her about what was going on in her life. I had just come out of therapy for my addiction of lust and porn and trust was a big issue. I wanted her to know that she was the only one for me and I didn't know how to do that.

I knew our marriage could be so much more but didn't know how to make that happen. It was a constant weight on me that made my everyday life like walking around on eggshells."

 

After the program: "DYM has given me the confidence and tools to be able to handle difficult situations with my wife. It has given me such a better understanding of how my wife thinks and what is important to her. I have learned that I have to be the leader of the relationship. I love how the program was based on scripture in the bible. I learned how God wanted us to treat our wives and then how to do it. Surprisingly it has helped with my porn and lustful addiction. Now I respect women and my wife as they are all God's daughters. I am so excited for the next stage of my marriage."

 

Dec 1, 2023
You may wonder when God is going to show up in your life.
 
In your situation. 
 
In your marriage. 
 
You may believe in God but don’t feel His love for you, or at least haven’t for a long time. 
 
Maybe you felt His love for you at first, and that is what brought you to give your life to Jesus, but slowly, things have really gotten stale. 
 
Maybe like your marriage. 
 
It was great at first. But slowly other loves entered the picture. Children. Careers. Commitments. Current events. Costs. Culture. Cars. Curtains. (Other things that also start with “C”. :)
 
Ultimately, our job is to sacrifice for our priorities. 
 
God. 
Spouse.
Kids.
Everything else.
 
If you’re not sacrificing for each (in that order), then it makes sense that you’re not feeling the love from them. 
 
I encourage you to listen with a curious heart attuned to what the Lord may be drawing you to.
 
Blessings,
Belah
 
PS - If you’d like our help with your marriage, your first step is a Clarity Call (a free gift from us) delightyourmarriage.com/cc
 
 
Before the Delighted Wife Program:
 
"Problems with tension and unforgiveness, exhaustion from childcare, loss of connection and lack of wholehearted intimacy. Husband was extremely resentful of me. I’ve lost respect for him. Was close to divorce.

There wasn’t peace at home, kids constantly saw us arguing, I didn’t want to be at home, I was doing many things on my own with the kids because my husband didn’t want to do things with me, I was craving for other male attention who valued me.” 

After the Delighted Wife Program:           

"My heart has softened and I can now see the brokenness in my husband, that he was just a very wounded soul. He was trying to love me and wanted this marriage to work but he had no clue how to go about improving it and was instead making things worse. 

Wholehearted intimacy. Not arguing for a long time and the atmosphere has completely shifted, there is peace at home and he is a much happier and better father to the children...

Impacted everything, it turned everything around. My husband is now loving, patient, caring, and a very present and patient father.”

 
Nov 22, 2023

Tomorrow is the day (in the US) we set aside to be grateful.

 

Or it’s a day we set aside to get frustrated with family, binge eat, and watch football.

 

Just kidding.

 

I invite you to do Thanksgiving this year, Jesus way.

 

Let’s allow peace, joy, and thanksgiving being the most important aspects of this holiday.

 

Everything else is after those.

 

Let’s be intentional to not allow wounds of the past (even from yesterday) to rob our kids or extended family of the opportunity to see how Jesus followers love each other. Whether they deserve it or not.

 

I want to just encourage you to do a few things if your marriage is tense right now.

 

Take 100% ownership to turn it to thanksgiving. Here are some very basic and very practical steps.

 

Love,

Belah

 

 

PS - If you’d like our help to turn your marriage around, we’re here for you. Your first step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Nov 17, 2023

Randy felt lonely, disconnected, and that his wife cared about everything and everyone else more than his wife.

He was a strong believer and prayed for change in his marriage.

He stumbled upon Delight Your Marriage through podcast searching and found something that seemed right. He and his wife really dug into the material. And it did start to make sense.

Sadly, they were again up at 3 am and both very frustrated and hurting. She decided to make the free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

And ultimately, they both chose to do the work together. 

As a natural skeptic and somewhat pessimistic he was concerned whether it was...

1- Going to work for them.

2- Whether it had a cult-like vibe. 

I think he was wise to consider this. But he assures you on this episode that it wasn't like that at all. 

Our goal is marriage transformed so they can continued doing the work of the Kingdom even better. 

Randy shares about how they are adoptive parents. Such important work requires a healthy marriage to love well. 

I'm so glad to see what God has done in these two and what He's continuing to do!

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - Join a free Clarity Call with a Clarity Advisor like Randy did and see how we can help you specifically: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - The holidays are coming. I encourage you to consider who in your life needs Delight Your Marriage.

Maybe today is the day to tell them:

You say: "Have you heard of DYM?" 

They say: "No"

You say: "I'll send it to you". 

And then send them one or two and write: "Here are some that I got a lot out of". (That way it doesn't make them feel like you think there's something wrong with them.)

Who knows, maybe you just changed the trajectory of a family, forever. Just by sending them a podcast.

Nov 10, 2023

Dads,

When it comes to fatherhood, do you feel at times like you don't know what you're doing? 

At times, does the chaos and frustration of it all feel like you're left to solve a very difficult puzzle without directions?

Dr. Don is here to tell you, "Every dad CAN win".

He's been there.

His wife, the "Relationship Ninja", Suzanne wants you to know that you are handpicked by God for  this. 

For fatherhood. 

For your children.

You can do this.

 

Early on in his family life, Don felt like parenting was more like solving a Rubix cube with no instructions.

Over the years of raising a family of 7 kids and gaining insights from other experts, they've discovered family comes down to 2 words: 

a- relationships 

and 

b- culture 

Don says, if you build your family right on the inside, then you can tackle anything that happens on the outside.

They invite you to constantly ask the question: How can I connect to my child today? Words, time, & creating experiences and memories are all examples of how to connect.

I specifically love when Suzanne says as parents, our goal is to take our kids from being parent-controlled to self-controlled.

She also shares how wives can encourage their husbands in the midst. 

 

Seriously, gents, you can win at fatherhood. Even if you didn't have a role model. And even if--like the Rangers (TX MLB not NY NHL :)--maybe your track record hasn't been great... it is possible to still win! 

Seriously though...

You can be a good father.

It really is not too late.

Don is opening an opportunity for you in the new year for fathers to learn how to do just that for free. Just email him dads@crazycoolfamily.com to find out more. 

Their many resources, podcasts, and courses can be found at crazycoolfamily.com 

I hope this message will encourage you to keep fighting to win!

 

Love, 
Belah

PS - We'd love to help you with your marriage. Maybe that has felt like it is the thing holding you back from working on your fatherhood.

We'd love to get you to the other side and really enjoy peace and joy in your marriage, thus empowering your kids! delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call to discover your first step in marriage healing. 

 

Recent graduate wrote: 

Before men's program... "this inability caused me to be concerned about our future and caused me to feel like I was alone... There were so many needs and desires that would go unmet, that I struggled to be holy and joyful.

After men's program... "Too many [celebrations] to recount here! In summary, she has made the most intimate bids for connection with me over the last weeks than I can remember! These have been both sexual and non-sexual.

My biggest celebration could be that I feel loved and desired by my wife again, and that is so fun and empowering for life on a mission!"

Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc so we can help you have that story too!

Nov 3, 2023

When I was first with my (now) husband he showed me my value. 

Value I didn't know I had.

Worth I didn't know I was.

He taught me how precious my heart was.

He taught me how precious my body was.

God loved me through my husband.

God healed me through my husband.

I remember on our first date I told him that I had never felt safer in my whole life.

I felt completely respected and honored by this man.

I felt like he would protect me from anything and everything (even from himself).

Unassuming.

Tender.

Kind.



And when I read the scriptures, I see that is what Jesus is to women.

He is kind.

He is loving.

He doesn't speak to them harshly.

He is moved by compassion when they cry.



Seriously. Take a minute and think.

Is there ever a time that Jesus is harsh to women?

Even when he tenderly corrects Martha, it is in protecting Mary (a woman who had the gall to value herself enough to learn from the great Rabbi).

I invite you to explore with me how Jesus treated women.

Men if you have never learned from Jesus in this way, I think this will help you.

It will help you see your wife as the daughter of the king.

As a precious soul that you are tasked to heal and care for. And God can heal her through you... through your genuine safety.

 

Book referenced:

Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer

 

Blessings,

Belah 


PS - If you want our help, feel free to go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for more info.


PPS - Recent husband grad: 

BEFORE: 
"Constantly getting rejected was demoralizing and took a mental toll on me for sure.

Not being listened to and the lack of respect was basically a punch in the gut pretty much daily, causing depression and definitely other issues within the house as well with the kids also."


AFTER: 
"I wanted to think that I was doing all the right things and that it was her problems that were causing all of the issues between, but I was definitely wrong.

Through this program, I have realized that I definitely was living up to my "man of the house" role.

Mainly I was not providing her safety.

My actions, or lack of actions depending on the situation, were not getting my wife into a safe place where she would be in the mindset to share herself with me physically, mentally, or spiritually.

By doing this in turn it has proved to be beneficial with what I feel is much more respect from her, especially around the kids, as well as more frequent episodes of lovemaking."

Oct 30, 2023

Solomon. The wisest man in the whole world. Ever. Fell to sex. 

David. The man after God's own heart. Fell to sex.

Samson. The real-life superhero. Fell to sex.

Falling to sex is something men have done for a long time...

AND each was severely punished.


1 Cor 10:8
We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died... 
These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us...

12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!

13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted d beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

For your own sake (much less for the sake of everyone who knows you follow Jesus) get humble.

Humble yourself while the monster is one inch tall. Confess the internet search, the extended browsing, the questionable conversation, the __________________________.... 

Get humble at the earliest warning level.

Run into the light. Share it exactly with your brother or sister (not co-ed).​​​​

​​You have an opportunity to get healed. 

Put crazy strong boundaries in place. ​

Every man in our community... be open with your sin to another man.

Every woman in our community... be open with your sin to another woman.

Let's not end up with their consequences...

Humble yourself.

Be specific.

Own your sin.

Confess it to another person.

Fully repent.

Allow them to pray for you.

Submit yourself to their accountability and humble yourself over and over again​...​​​

...that you may be healed.


Listen in to today's extra short (since it's a Monday) podcast.

Belah

 

PS - If you want our help, feel free to go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for more info.

Oct 20, 2023

Today's story is by a wonderful man who needed help to receive the intimacy he was really hoping for. 

 

As a person who believed in Jesus and was serious about the Word of God, the lack of intimacy in his marriage was not something he was willing to find a sinful outlet for.

Instead, he had heard of Delight Your Marriage and began listening to the podcast. After listening for several years, he decided to sign up for the men’s program when it began to be offered. 

The first time he went through the 3-month program, he learned, implemented, and saw results! 

He saw some great changes in his marriage.

But after a year, he realized it wasn't enough. 

So, he did it again... 

 

I invite you to hear what his changes have been this time around, after he had a foundation to build from and really finetune his shifts. He's got some exciting things to share as a result of his second round of the program…an even greater progression of growth in his marriage.

If you've done "all the things" but haven't seen your marriage change, I invite you to listen to David's story... 

 

God is still changing hearts and lives, marriages, and families. 

 

God bless you, 

Belah 

 

PS - Could your marriage change? What do you have to lose…and potentially gain? We invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

Graduate quote: 

Before the program: “Coming in, I knew my wife felt that I was unsafe for her, and that she felt alone and unknown by me. On my end, I felt deeply regretful of marrying her, angry with her, and hopeless to ever have a joyful marriage. I felt totally unattracted to her and trapped.

I became very depressed as a result of our unhappy marriage feeling like a life sentence that couldn't improve. The inability I felt to do anything positive in my marriage made me hesitant and unconfident in my vocation as a minister. I felt like I had zero positive influence with my own wife, so how could I have any influence with others that I hoped to point to Christ or build a trusting relationship with. Even more so, my role as a dad and as a friend to others was constricted by how small and worthless I felt.”

 

After the program:  “I've seen progress in almost every area. I have grown in my own perspective on my wife. This has stunned me, and given me more hope than I've ever felt. The faith-statements, the forgiveness exercises, and the daily gratitudes have made an enormous change inside me. The ways my wife saw me as unsafe and unsatisfied all seemed from my heart of anger and ungratefulness toward her. Forgiveness toward her has softened my heart, and the daily gratitude has accumulated to change my attitude toward her, even in a daily way. I sincerely have a delight toward her that I've not felt in over a decade.”

Oct 6, 2023

He's been a Christian for many years, yet couldn't seem to "crack" how people transform. He knew he wasn't where God would want him to be, but couldn't figure out how to get there. 

He had followed Delight Your Marriage for years and applied what he picked up, but it didn't seem to move the needle.

Finally, he decided it was time and joined. 

He started seeing changes in himself and changes in his walk with God. And he was thrilled to discover a community of men that was, in his words, "extraordinary."

He learned to be a man of God in a real sense alongside other men growing, as well.

He finally felt unstuck. I hope this is encouraging and inspiring to you as well.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you're a wife or a husband, I encourage you to sign up for a Clarity Call to see how you, too, can witness this kind of transformation in yourself and in your marriage. 

delightyourmarriage.com/cc

From a wife graduate who also felt stuck:

"Coming into the program, I felt stuck. My marriage was 1 year into recovery from my husband's infidelity, and though we had been counseling and working on moving forward, I felt like we hadn't made much progress.

I had a major lack of joy and felt depleted emotionally and physically. I was unable to be the mom I wanted to be, and certainly wasn't able to love my husband well (though I wanted to!)"

After the program: "The trajectory of my life has changed in a dramatic way. I feel more sure of the direction my life is heading. I am no longer allowing emotion or fear to control the direction of my life. I want my GPS to be the Bible, and Jesus as the driver. I am sure that God is trustworthy and capable and I am growing in allowing him space to work. I have grown in my character, my life goals are more aligned with God's, and I believe I am being obedient to God's will in my marriage."

Sep 29, 2023
My son, age 10, is going to talk to you today.

And I invite you to ​​imagine this is your son. 

What kind of father do you want him to see?

A leader? A man of character? A man of strength and integrity?

So many wives want that for their sons, but they are unwilling to do what's necessary to make space for that to be a reality.

These wives (and sadly I've been in that place way too many times) give into fear. Fear that he won't do what "needs to be done" in her eyes. ​​​​​​​​

So, instead of letting him lead, she takes charge and controls, criticizes, and even "mothers her husband" (yuck!)...

Then... she expects him to stand up and lead?

That wouldn't be sensical. So your husband either shuts down and reverts to apathy or he may get angry and explode.
​​​​
And ultimately, how does that impact the kids?

​​

On our episode, my son is actually going to be painfully honest about how we live this out (and there are some less-than-flattering revelations un/fortunately).


The point is...​​
Your kids need their father to take his place as the leader of the home.

​​He was designed for this.

​My son points out,​ that it's a burden.

And taking responsibility for the home is a scary thing.


How do you "get" your husband to lead?

​​There's a way to get there and it's not by controlling... it's about giving up the control. (I'll define what that means).


I hope wives listen to my son with fresh ears from the perspective of a little boy who needs a dad to look up to.

​​As it may change your heart in a way that my words couldn't.

(Also, my son sings a song to his papa at the end... I hope it makes you smile. Song: Saved My Life by Andy Grammer and R3HAB)

 
Love,
Belah

PS - If you're a wife who is scared to give up control like we are encouraging, I was there!

Your next step is a Clarity Call here:
 delightyourmarriage.com/cc


A wife graduated today and wrote:

"The trajectory of my life has changed in a dramatic way. I feel more sure of the direction my life is heading.

I am no longer allowing emotion or fear to control the direction of my life. I want my GPS to be the Bible, and Jesus as the driver.

I am sure that God is trustworthy and capable and I am growing in allowing him space to work.

I have grown in my character, my life goals are more aligned with God's, and I believe I am being obedient to God's will in my marriage."

God can totally transform your heart and your marriage, we get to walk wives by the hand into that reality many times over.

Find out more and how we can help you on a free Clarity Call.













Sep 22, 2023

They saved themselves for marriage. (Yay!)

But there were other hurdles encountered as a result of a lack of insight around intimacy and God's wonderful design.

Hear how Lindsay got to the other side. Was it just flipping a switch and suddenly there's freedom? No.

It was a process.

It was a journey, and it took support and guidance.

I look forward to you hearing from someone who got there, and you can, too. 

For men: her husband went first. 

For women: she had to commit and realize it was important enough for her to get free. 

Love, 

Belah 

PS - Like Lindsay, if you want freedom in your intimacy but have hang-ups from purity culture, you can get on a free Clarity Call to be listened to and asked questions. Maybe our program is the right fit for you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

If you're a husband who sees his wife "holding back" because of this, Lindsay's husband took the men's program first, so I also encourage you to get on a Clarity Call. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Program Graduate Quote: 

Before the program: “We had recurring arguments surrounding intimacy. I felt like [my husband’s] love was conditional and he felt like I neglected his needs.

It was so discouraging. [My husband] felt lonely and I felt like a failure. The cycle would repeat every couple months, leaving both of us discouraged and hopeless that things could ever change… especially after 23 years of marriage. It impacted every relationship in our life, including our kids, work, in ministry, etc.”

Same graduate after the program: “I am amazed at the peace and unity in our marriage. I no longer feel like sex is an obligation but something that I am really learning to enjoy! It’s better than it has ever been. I have a hard time taking credit for it because [my husband] is killing it at implementing the principles from his ‘Masculinity Reclaimed’ program. I have never felt more known, safe or wholeheartedly cherished. It is easy to respond to a man who loves me like this. It is easy to be attracted to and vulnerable with a man who loves me like Jesus loves his church.

I have really grown in vulnerability, boldness and freedom in my sexuality, including discovering how sex can be so enjoyable for me.  And turns out, [my husband] LOVES when I enjoy it!  I am overcoming my physical insecurities and realizing that my body is a gift for my husband.  What a beautiful design and privilege that I can please, comfort and bless my husband in intimacy.  I want to continue being courageous to experience all God has for our marriage.

I see how my upbringing and the influence of culture have warped how I think and hindered me from experiencing marriage like God designed. I see how I desperately need God to renew my mind to see myself, marriage and sex the way He does.

This is the best marriage material we have ever come across. The Lord is using you in huge ways!”

Sep 18, 2023
DYM Listeners -- Thank you SO much for all your help with this Pre-Engaged Workbook launch. 
 
And God got us on the charts... #1 New Release in Christian Dating & Relationships!!! Thanking God for His favor!! (Being on the charts means it will be seen by many more people).
 
And a special thank you to Maria, Delighted Wife Facilitator, who was our amazing book editor! She edited and gave feedback and edited again -- Thank you!
 
May God use this in a mighty way in the lives of those who read it.
 
"It truly is a life changing resource if couples will apply themselves to the principles."
 
Blessings,
Belah
 
PS - If you haven't yet purchased / reviewed the Pre-Engaged workbook, would love you to add your 5-star review to help spread this work as far as possible. Thank you! 
 
 
Sep 15, 2023

We are LOVING the excitement about the Pre-Engaged Workbook, which will be released soon.

 

(It is supposed to go live today, but isn't available yet... there is a hold-up in the review process. We will let you know once it goes live!)

 

---

 

What I think happens a lot in marriages is a dynamic of competition. 

 

They both want to impress their spouse, and both of them are clawing on top of each other trying to get the other one to notice them and admire them. 

 

They’re trying to get their spouse to see that they’re doing a good job.

 

At the very same moment, the other spouse is trying to get them to see that they’re doing a good job and trying to impress them.

 

So each is trying to get their security and their approval and their sense of doing a good job from their spouse. And so this competition takes hold. 

 

Instead of enjoying each other and the gift that they are---in the strengths and the differences---they are competing and they can’t see past their own hurt and lack of encouragement from their spouse. 

 

So, what I highly recommend is that you consider if this dynamic is happening in your home.

 

Are you trying to get compliments and admiration and encouragement from your spouse but getting hurt over and over and over again?

 

My recommendation is that you listen to this episode to understand how to actually receive the affirmation, the approval, and the encouragement you crave. 

 

The good news is you could actually have both security and affirmation… and change the dynamic from competition to love and generous compliments.

 

You’ll find out how if you listen to today's episode.

 

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - Help could be a click away…you’re invited to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if you’re a good fit for our programs.



What do graduates say about the results of the program?

 

“Before I took the program, I thought my wife and I were getting on ok, but as it turned out this was far from the case. It soon became clear that my wife had been feeling very lonely and isolated for years, and this had been showing in her behaviour, which though pleasant, was somewhat aloof and detached emotionally.”

 

“Things moved exponentially, very quickly, though not without struggle and some reverses.. She did not recognise this “new husband” as she put it! …Completely unintentionally I had made my wife feel ignored, not attended to, and taken for granted… Communication was generally businesslike rather than affectionate. …As the program has gone on, huge strides have been made in our marriage. We now spend quality time together most meal times, we’ve started going out on dates again, we are much more playful than before and we enjoy being with each other. Most importantly, my wife has relaxed, she’s begun to trust me, and her true bubbly self is coming out into the open. And it’s a delight to see. It almost feels like it used to when we were first dating. Sex has even taken on a completely new appearance.”

Sep 8, 2023

I just have to apologize ahead of time because this headline is way too sensational. I can hear you saying, "It's frankly not realistic."

I get it. 

But, hear me out. (Or, hear him out...? :)

 

So, Hunter had twin 4-year-old girls.

His wife was fed up with asking him to change. To pull his fair share. To be proactive in the family responsibilities. 

She said she was done. They had talked about divorce in the past, but there was finality this time. 

He could tell she was serious. And she was.

This is when a lot of people would feel helpless and decide they're going to give up and end the marriage since their spouse wants a divorce. 

Not Hunter.

He had done a Clarity Call a year earlier and wasn't ready to take that step then. But knew, at this point, he had to dramatically change to save his marriage.

He said, "At the beginning of the program, I had trouble getting just a few sentences out before I would bust out in tears..."

Week in and week out Hunter plugged along. 

But because of the amazing men in our program, he didn't feel he was doing it by himself. 

They were texting him, praying for him, encouraging him each time it got hard. 

When he had a bad week and felt absolutely worthless and hopeless, they'd be there to brush him off and remind him WHY he was doing this. They'd help him get encouraged and refocused.

Hunter did one scary change after another, one step forward and one step back, one awkward skill practiced after another until it became normal, natural, and just who he is... 

And his wife started to respond. 

She started to end the snarky, mean comments. 

And she started even being receptive to his touch.

Ever so slowly, she started to trust that he is indeed a new man.

And he was indeed able to heal his marriage even though she didn't do the program.

Now he feels closer to God and he can see that she is closer to God, as well.

Now they are in love again… like when they were first married.

Now their 4-year-old girls are 5, and they are in a family with parents that are unified and loving.

This is a big deal and worth a giant celebration! And, a sensational headline (because it's true). 

Love, 

Belah

 

PS - If you need a transformation like Hunter, please don't let hopelessness overtake you. Focus on WHY it's so important for you to save your marriage, and get help. 

We have resources to help you every step of the way (literally, it's step-by-step). You may be so flooded with fear and pain that you can't even think straight. It's okay, we've got a step-by-step process. It's proven, and it works. 

Wife or husband, we want to help you. Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call. 

 

Like Hunter, take the next courageous step. It's worth it.

Like Hunter, gain clarity on a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Like Hunter... it could save and transform your marriage, forever.

 

From a recent lady graduate: 

"Delight Your Marriage has brought a breath of fresh air to our marriage! It helped me to forgive myself and others for wrong that had been done in my life.

DYM [Delight Your Marriage] gave me new tools to use to revive my marriage and a renewed focus on God to guide and direct our marriage through the next phases of life!

I enjoyed every aspect of this program! From the first podcast I listened to, to the clarity call, accountability calls, modules, and coaching calls! It all has been a joy, challenge, and work that has helped me and my marriage now thrive!"

We invite you to learn more! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

(If you know someone who needs this... forward this episode to them! Maybe you'll save a family.)

Sep 1, 2023

We're all insecure. 

I am.

You are. 

 

We might not be insecure about the same things, but we've all got it. 

 

Today, I want to talk about the insecurities that are common for women and the insecurities that are common for men. Spoiler alert: they're different.

 

But the insight most of us miss is that our specific insecurity in marriage actually is harming our spouse. 

Because of the way our spouse is designed by God, if there are certain things missing in marriage, it pains them. 

Deeply.

 

This is an episode I hope you'll take to heart. 

Your insecurities may be harming your spouse. 

 

Included in this episode:

-What are insecurities?

-What are yours as a husband or as a wife?

-How are they affecting your spouse?

-How to move past them?

-How to get free of them?

 

I really hope this helps. 

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - We'd love to have you on the inside of a program and witness God do something amazing in and through you! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc is the place to sign up for a free Clarity Call.

When asked how we can improve the program a recent graduate wrote:

The course is absolutely brilliant. The course materials (videos and pdfs) are top notch in terms of content, and Belah is totally invested in her teaching and coaching, the content of which is simply superb.

It’s been meticulously researched. And the materials are attractive and mostly very user friendly. 

The accountability groups are a master stroke. Most of all, everything is covered by prayer and led by the Holy Spirit. I can safely say that I have learned more in this course than any course I have done in the past, whether secular or religious.

More importantly no course or teaching has effected such a radical change in my character and behaviour as this one. There are very few things that could be improved.

Well done Belah and all the team in producing something that is not only very professional, but is an absolute life saver in so many marriages, including mine!

Aug 25, 2023

Amber can tell you straight up... God has changed her. 

For so many reasons, she would have said her behavior was warranted.

(I know the feeling and have said the words myself!)

And God was kind to open her eyes to her pride. 

The pride that was ripping her husband apart. 

And yet, God got her attention. 

He stretched forth His hand and showed her what she couldn't see on her own. 

He used her husband's leadership to bring her to a place of recognition of her sin. 

And then she chose the humble and wise way. 

I must say I am SO proud of Amber. How she has grown. How she now lives out the joy that God restored to her marriage! 

It's worth celebrating. I hope you'll listen and be encouraged by what God has done in her heart (first), (then) in her marriage, and in her family. 

Love and gratefulness for our amazing Father, 

Belah

PS - If you'd like to see how to transform your situation, we'd love to help. The first step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

Client testimonial... before the ladies program (the state of their marriage): 

“Completely overwhelming! It was causing pain and sadness in every area of our lives.”

After the ladies program:

"Our love has grown beyond my imagination. My husband and I are tender and loving and supportive to each other like never before. My husband has truly softened over the last few months through my using the tools in this program. Our fighting has stopped! Arguing is not our way of life anymore. Our children are doing so amazing and I can see them feeling settled and safe. Our intimacy is God honoring and I desire my husband…which was never the case!

Our marriage will never be the same! I honestly rejoice every day that Jesus brought this podcast and program in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!"

 

Aug 18, 2023

There can only be 1 answer to this question:

Yes, or No. 

 

Well, who do you go to to answer questions like this?

Do you have a pastor?

A friend?

A mentor?

A favorite author?

A researcher?

A scientist?

A porn counselor?

An SA therapist?

A previous user?

Your own experience?

Your own intuition? 

 

Who has the authority in your life to answer this question?

Ahem... "the great Belah Rose?"

 

Just so we're clear, when I said, "Let there be light"... it stayed dark.

When your pastor said it... when your favorite author/researcher/friend/counselor/author/confidante said it... probably the same.

Maybe there was a window already open, so God's light actually allowed it to be light... but ultimately, they don't have power or authority anywhere, ANYWHERE close to God.

 

God. 

 

But is He the biggest authority to you?

 

Does what He says matter to you the MOST?

 

I invite you to pause. Ponder. 

Are His words MOST important?

To you?

 

Let's say, your answer is yes.

But then, how do you know what God says... especially about an exclusively 21st-century issue, i.e. porn?

 

Well, actually it isn't a 21st-century issue.

And God speaks about it. Many times.

And He clearly answers this question.

 

I don't know if you want to hear it, but He does speak to it.

Before we get there.

 

In truth...

Apathy is easier.

Skepticism is easier.

Laziness is easier. 

 

But just because you don't care (apathy),

or believe (skepticism),

or want to (laziness),

...swim away from the impending waterfall, 

doesn't mean it won't kill you when you inevitably get to it.

 

 

Do you care what the Bible says? Do you believe what the Bible says? Do you want to discover what the Bible says?

I had a conversation via email with a dear friend about a year ago. I would love for you to read it to learn why I think the Bible should be pursued, is trustworthy, and can be utterly wonderful for you: delightyourmarriage.com/bible

 

So, to answer this question...

"The great Belah Rose" fears God too much to not tell you: 

yes, it is a salvation issue.

 

"Anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart...

better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell."

Jesus says it is. We're talking about hell. We're talking about lust. We're talking about salvation.

(In Matthew 5:28)

 

 

I hope one day this will be true of me...

"I never shrank back from telling you what you needed to hear... either publicly, or in your homes [or in your earbuds].

I have had one message...

the necessity of repenting from sin

and turning to God,

and of having faith in our Lord Jesus."

Acts 20:20-21

 

 

Belah

 

PS - Next steps:

Repent from your sin.

Turn to God [i.e. read your physical Bible to learn / discover / encounter who He actually is] and have faith in our Lord Jesus.

PPS - There IS hope AND help. Maybe we can help. Jesus most definitely can help! If you’d like to investigate whether or not we can help, we invite you to schedule a free, no obligation Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

Quote from a graduate of Masculinity Reclaimed:

Before MR: "My sex life was a mess before I found DYM. It's really hard to find anyone that will talk to you about sex in a godly way. The world is full of lies, DYM pulls the truth out of the Bible and gives you exactly what you need to get on a healthy trajectory for your marriage and sex life!”

After MR: “I think my biggest celebration is just having the weight of discontentment lifted. It is so frustrating and depressing to be constantly dissatisfied with your sex life. It truly is like carrying around a huge weight. To finally be free of that and realize that I could be satisfied and happy without doing anything but changing my heart posture was amazing. I no longer feel like the victim of a bad marriage, but rather the recipient of a blessed marriage!"

Aug 11, 2023

I don't have to tell you that the enemy is out for families. Because the best-case scenario is a mom and dad that love each other raising children that grow up to be the men and women to do God's will in the earth.

So, if the enemy can tear at the soul of the marriage. The most sacred part. The intimacy. Then the family crumbles. 

But God.

Wayne is so courageous to share what God has done because he knows it can help someone, maybe like you to know you're not alone. 

This is a story I've heard many times. Wayne made a big error. One that could have changed his family's future to one completely different with so much pain and heartache. 

When he was found out, it was the hardest days of their lives. It was devastating.

A friend told him about Delight Your Marriage. 

When he heard Mick's testimonial (Episode 363) he knew he had to do the program and he went ahead.

It wasn't easy for him. It took ownership. It took struggle. It took perseverance. It took time. It took patience. 

It took prayer. It took other men rooting him on. Encouraging him. Praying for him. 

He didn't give up.

And God healed their marriage.

God healed their connection.

God healed his wife's heart. 

There is so much good in that home now. Their many kids feel more relaxed and able to be themselves in the home. Their friendship is stronger. He appreciates all the levels of connection he now enjoys with his wife.

She said, "if you told me this [is how it would be] a year ago, I wouldn't have believed it." He agrees "That's not who I was" but now it is.

God be praised.

I hope you are encouraged by another journey that God is healing families. It's not easy but it is SO worth it. 

If you needed this to own your mess and turn your family's future around. It's time. Don't waste any more precious time and join our men's program to transform it all. 

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Have a conversation with Dana at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see how we can help you.

 

PPS - A different husband who graduates next week wrote:

"I feel very different. A kinder, more gentle, caring human being has emerged. 

I feel more confident in myself and in my masculinity.

I can safely say that I have learned more in this course than any course I have done in the past, whether secular or religious.

More importantly, no course or teaching has effected such a radical change in my character and behavior as this one."

 

Maybe it's your turn: delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

 

Aug 4, 2023

Driving down the road, crying out to God. 

And, maybe, the strongest he's ever heard the Lord responded to him.

It wasn't rebuke. But an invitation. 

He saw into the heart of God. 

Real tears started rolling down his face.

---

I invite you to listen to Dan's story. 

 

Maybe it's not unlike yours...

...have a marriage, for some decades.

...have gone through struggles and broken dreams.

​...have a couple of children.

​​...desire to be who God called him to be.

​​...desire to have the connection with God he hoped was available.

 

A friend at church shared with him about the podcast.

He started listening to dozens of episodes... and eventually felt he needed to do a call. 

He took the courage to have a Clarity Call with Dana. 

Then found out his friend did the program and was on the podcast himself testifying of what God had done. 

I hope you are encouraged that, just as God spoke to Dan, He wants that level of connection and intimacy with YOU. 

 

I invite you to shut off distractions and go before Him...

...in joy, silence, praise, worship, prayer, bowed head, bowed knee, bowed heart... before our love, God, King and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

 

Love, 

Belah

PS - We'd love to help you draw closer to God, live His way, and witness God transform your relationships: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - Dan references the Pre-Dating workbook.

 

Also, from a different wife who graduated today: 

"What can a blind man who now sees say, except "Praise God! It's a miracle! My life has been forever changed and I will be eternally grateful!" 

God did ALL of the work and He gets all of the credit. But He 100% did it through this program."

 

Sign up for a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Jul 28, 2023

I should be clear... I don't struggle with this. The stories I share about my pride in this episode are a complete rarity. Almost never happens.
​I also don't struggle with lying... :D 

(Just kidding :)

I need this learning as much as anyone... which is why I'm excited to share what God is teaching me!

----

"My spouse needs to change..." 

"[He is / She is] doing so many bad things...so many..."

"There's nothing I can do unless [he / she] changes..."

 

I knew this was a disempowering mindset that I saw often.

But it wasn't until this week when God confronted me with my pride, that I learned that "self-pity" is the sin of pride. 

 

Ouch.

But true.

 

(I learned this through the book by R. T. Kendall's The Power of Humility. I highly recommend it.)

Wallowing in your pain isn't God's way. 

 

"But I don't deserve to be treated like this!"

I hear you.

 

Job didn't deserve his suffering either. 

His suffering was profound. 

Maybe yours is too.

 

Job started out strong. Even when others encouraged him to deny God's goodness, he stayed faithful to God and honored His faithfulness regardless.

But eventually, he succumbed to self-pity, he was severely corrected for his wallowing in self-pity.

 

I hope you and I will heed what God said to Job. And that we would respond the way Job did to His correction.  

 

I encourage you to lean into His discipline. 

He is a good Father who disciplines His children.

 

God is kind to bring us to repentance.

And don't worry... I needed this episode too. Let's draw near to God. Lay down our pride and acknowledge and seek Him as Lord and King.

 

Love, 
Belah

 

PS - We'd love to help you with your marriage, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call. 

 

PPS - If you're wondering how healthy your marriage is right now to give you insights on what needs to change and the first steps in how to with free resources... go to delightyourmarriage.com/health to take the Marital Health Assessment. 

 





From another recent graduate:

Before the men's program:
"Struggles - Arguing, lack of trust, loss of peace frequently, little laughter, lack of joy, lack of fun. I was worried that if I didn't change, my wife might leave me after the kids leave for college.


After:
"Getting compliments and thanks from my wife (I would get them so so rarely). My wife hugging and kissing me and being playful. Holding hands and walking together when outside in public.

Peace at home, laughter between us and with kids. We are in love again."

Final thoughts:

"It's the best life changing thing that happened to me.

Its changed my view about my wife, about women, it helped me change to understand my wife and women better, helped with my relationship with my kids, my mother and sister.

My relationship with my mom and sis was very bad, it's improving now. Trying to use the CIRQUE, No arguments, gratefulness, compliments at work and other relationships.

It's worth a million bucks!!!!"



Glory to God!
We'd love to help you too! Find out more on a free Clarity Call: http://delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Jul 21, 2023

Back 1.5 years ago, Taylor went through the men's program and witnessed God do some important work. Most important: in his heart. 

But as Jesus says:

For from within, out of the heart of man,

come evil thoughts, sexual immorality,

theft, murder, adultery, coveting,

wickedness, deceit,

sensuality, envy, slander,

pride, foolishness.

All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

If the point of Delight Your Marriage is to help men and women get their heart right, then of course the rest would follow.

My encouragement to you today, is focus on the heart. Focus on surrendering your heart to the Lord so He can free you of all of that which you hate.

He is God and there is freedom with Him.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you're looking for changes like this, we would love to help you on a Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

From another recent graduate: 

MR Grad: “GOD is certainly using DYM [Delight Your Marriage] to impact lives.”

 

Before MR: “Some of the biggest struggles I was facing were that marital intimacy was all but nonexistent. That included emotional intimacy- whether I wanted to see that or not. 

I have long struggled with pornography... My self-worth was in the dumps. I was always looking for affirmation from my wife and she from me. Neither of us delivered - neither could deliver enough.

After MR: “I'm taking ownership. This is my home. This is my marriage. She is my wife. Ours is a union blessed by God.

In taking my roles as husband, father, help mate more seriously, my whole family has begun to benefit.

The man's role is not to simply coexist, but to lead the marriage and family. I can make a difference in the family by leading to and with God.” 

Jul 20, 2023

You may be on a journey to get a better marriage... 

But do you know where you are right now? 

 

The trouble is when people with a 9/10 marriage give advice to someone with a 2/10 marriage... 

It doesn't make sense. AND a left turn at the WRONG TIME could lead to disaster.

That is why we developed the Marital Health Assessment, a tool you can use to determine if you're on track in your marriage. 

 

Or if you need a left turn now or to stay straight for another 37 exits :)

 

I invite you to take this free Marital Health Assessment to determine where you are now so you can wisely choose your next steps!

Delightyourmarriage.com/health

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