So, I hear you.
And I validate your desire.
I wish wives would understand the importance and privilege she has to love him the WAY HE RECEIVES love.
With that in mind, I want to encourage you, dear husband.
Jesus KNOWS about your high sex drive. In fact, God is responsible for it. It's very clear in the Bible that He knows and designed you with it.
So, when I am encouraging you in how to view your wife, it's actually the most PRODUCTIVE thing you can do to bring you both at a better place in intimacy.
It's not the last step, but it's the FIRST and has be there BEFORE anything else.
If you want to understand the next 12 steps (literally), you can sign up for a FREE Clarity Call (worth $500!) where you and I will talk about what your SPECIFIC situation is.
You'll get clarity and great value and as I'm listening and discerning whether or not you'd be the right fit for me to expect amazing transformation in your marriage:
-like a husband who was celibate for several years because his wife shut him out now they're making generous and enthusiastic love several times every week!
-like a husband who walked on eggshells hoping his wife wouldn't reject him at night and she hadn't initiated in 20 years - now she's the ONLY one initiating and they're making passionate on a consistent basis!
If that's what you'd like to see in your marriage, I'd love to consider your story on a Clarity Call and IF I think you're the right fit I may invite you to work with me. Go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/call
(Due to capacity, I am only offering this call for husbands at this time though I have some options that may include them if I feel it's the right fit.)
You may have an inkling, but I bet you'll be surprised by my guest Sharon Jaynes (sharonjaynes.com) and the interesting topics we dig into to help others understand in what ways the Song of Solomon was speaking about intimacy between husband and wife.
(Hint hint, they're not talking about the farmer's market). :)
Sharon Jaynes has authored over 20 books and is passionate about women walking confidently and freely in their God-given calling. She loves marriages and seeks for women to be free in intimacy as well as love their husband through prayer. Sharon and I had a lot of fun talking about how the Bible specifically gives us the green-light to do far more in sex than most Christians realize. Listen in!
Be sure to get Sharon's new book: Lovestruck: Discovering God's Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy from the Song of Solomon to find out even more!
A couple of free resources I mentioned on the podcast that I'd love to offer you:
Why did she heal?
What motivated a woman who was a size 0, undernourished, had been abused horribly to decide it was worth the challenge to heal?
How did she heal and now have a thriving intimate life with her husband?
Catherine gives us insight, hope and practical tools for you. You too can be healed, by God's grace.
Whether you were abused or your spouse, this will be helpful to understand the process and know that complete healing and restoration is possible for you!
Catherine is incredibly inspiring and has used her story to bring light and safety to so many through her organization Stop Trafficking Us (stoptraffickingus.org) which helps people out of being trafficked.
If this resonates with you and you'd like some additional tips on how to stay present during intimacy, I'd love to also give you a free resource: "8 Secrets to Stay Present during Intimacy".
You can get it here: delightyourmarriage.com/present
Today's interview is a story of resilience and hope.
Catherine goes into her story lightly because her full story is extremely difficult to take in.
HOWEVER, there is hope. Catherine is a living example that God can heal you.
1 in 4 women AND 1 in 6 men have suffered some form of sexual trauma. So, the healing needs to happen for SO many of us.
What can you do as a wife or husband to heal?
What can you do to help your spouse heal?
What are the underlying causes for pain for the person who is trying to help their spouse heal?
There's a lot of great insights even for practical and fun ways to heal... yeah it doesn't have to be another exercise in pain to heal.
God can help even when the mood is light!
To find out more about Catherine Wilson's work, visit: https://www.stoptraffickingus.org/
If thoughts are inhibiting you in the bedroom and you're a wife, I'd like to get my 8 Secrets to Staying Present in Intimacy for FREE, you can go to this link!
Part 2 is coming out next week, I hope you'll come back for that on Thursday!
So this is one of those topics that even when we're talking about intimacy we don't talk about.
But because I have the honor of speaking to women and men about some of the stuff they have never told ANYBODY, this comes up.
I want to share this episode because I want to help you. I don't want you to feel alone and icky and like you're sinning. Maybe you're not OR what are the specific Biblical boundaries?
Maybe there are small tweaks you can make to your thought-life that will align them with God's will. Maybe there are wees growing in the garden of your mind and they need to be pulled up and we'll talk about that.
But you may be surprised by some of my thoughts even around homosexuality. It starts in the mind and what we focus on grows. Just because someone has same-sex attraction doesn't make them gay. I want to clear about that because that's an insecurity a lot of people have.
I believe we all have proclivities, it's what we do with those proclivities that matter. Some of us are more violent, some of us easily lie and some of us have other proclivities we need to keep in check. What you focus on grows. So if you're focusing on the ways God wants you to be attracted and turned on by your spouse, I think you might be quite surprised by the way God will redirect your thoughts, feelings and even stimulation just by directing your fantasy-life.
I am SO excited to invite you to my 3-part FREE Online Seminar, people had amazing things to say about it!
There's only a couple of days left to go and get the replay!
"Belah, your webinar was absolutely amazing, we both enjoyed it and can't wait for the other 2! You have such an incredible insight on the male - female relationship that we haven't seen from any other relationship expert!
Your content was spot on and was such an awesome introduction. Where were you 25 years ago!!!!!!!" - Husband
"Thank you so much, Belah, for the distilling a lifetime of wisdom and teaching about God's plan for marital happiness, family harmony and personal fulfillment into one webinar!!!" -Wife of 32 years