Masculinity Reclaimed (the program these gents took to transform their lives, by God's grace) has opened enrollment and it all closes down this Monday, October 18, 2021 11:59pm EST delightyourmarriage.com/minvite
How frequently have you heard of marriages "on the rocks" or getting divorced? And how frequently are you hearing of marriages transformed and healed and better than when they were dating! (In just 3 months!?!?!?!)
God is doing it HERE!
I want your faith to be inspired and encouraged and for you to feel true HOPE that if it can happen for him and him and him and him and him and him and him...
It could happen for you!
(And these are ONLY the men from the program who are brave enough to have their face and voice out on the internet for all to hear/see!)
It's a movement and we have the largest turn out we've ever had in the free Men's Masterclass! And men are joining Masculinity Reclaimed left and right.
Now is your time -- you owe it to yourself to find out if this is where God would want you in this season.
Find out all the details: delightyourmarriage.com/minvite
(If you have a friend who needs hope, send them this podcast, you may be the only one who helps him see that things could really be different if he was just willing to step up. Thank you <3)
Love & Blessings,
PS - Masculinity Reclaimed enrollment closes down this Monday, October 18, 2021, 11:59pm EST delightyourmarriage.com/minvite
If you're looking for hope that your marriage or intimacy could change, you've found it.
These are rapid-fire stories of how these men's marriages literally transformed in simply 3 months.
Here are these guys saying in rapid-fire interviews:
"Now, it's better than when we were dating"
"She initiated 5x in a week" and she didn't know he was doing the program.
"Our emotional connection is so much better than it was...she's softening"
"Our intimacy is night and day different"
If it can happen for them, why not you? I bet you'll hear your own story in theirs.
The Masculinity Reclaimed program is what they did and now God has transformed intimacy for their marriages!
Listen in to hear hope and encouragement!
Join the Masculinity Reclaimed program before it all closes down 11:59pmEST on Monday Oct 18, 2021
PS - Once you go through MR, I'd like to add your testimonial to the list---it's pretty long at this point, but I want yours too :)
Why not have the most amazing Christmas and New Year you've ever had! If you start now, that'll be a reality!
Join us -- delightyourmarriage.com
If you join within the first day, you can get the fast-action bonus Team Strategy Session with Belah!
Hope to see you on the inside!
Some gents have met together to go through the material carefully after each class (like a Bible Study!).
Some men have moved their vacation schedules!
Some men asked if they should take off work to make sure they can be a part.
Our team does an amazing job of making this a fantastic experience for the attendees -- very interactive with quizzes, points, prizes and most of all an opportunity to gain the perspective and tools that could change your marriage forever!
Join us, Oct 11, 12 & 13
This Monday -- Oct 11 is when the Men's Masterclass begins -- sign up delightym.com and please send it to your friend who may need this.
--Now to the show!--
I think all the wives will want their husbands to listen to this one.
Because I have the good fortune of working with men every (work) day and hearing their unfiltered thoughts about intimacy...
I can help you understand why your wife often rejects you.
One of the major truths is that it's SCARY to initiate sex with your wife.
So, you probably do...
But in general, it's a half-invested way, in hopes that her rejection won't feel so painful. Because from experience it has been rejected, even your best attempts.
Fast forward to today.
Now, because a husband's attempt at enticing his wife to make love is so "inadequate" for fear of rejection.
(Jfyi "inadequate" was the thesaurus's replacement for "lame" :) )
For this reason, the wife naturally would reject it.
But what if we took the fear out of this exchange entirely?
And your enticing her towards intimacy was filling for her and could even be successful!?
AND you're not full of fear.
Is that even possible?
I think with these insights, you will be well on your way.
to invite a wife--who is never in the mood--
to be in the mood!
Jfyi, I go a lot deeper in all of this in a systematized and even templated way in one of the bonus courses, "Romantic Initiating: Start the way she craves". It's part of the Masculinity Reclaimed program.
If you sign up for the men's masterclass you'll find out all of the details.
Join the free Men's Masterclass starting Oct 11 -- sign up ASAP delightym.com
We all have someone who needs help in their marriage, I would be honored and I encourage you to have the courage to send them this way! delightym.com
He does not know it will cost him his life.
Sounds like a horror movie -- where the killer is waiting in the woods without the person knowing.
But the person should never have come into the haunted house in the first place -- if only he knew it would cost him his life.
(Isn't that how those horror movies go? I don't actually know, I don't watch them.)
But, my hope is that this episode would grab you at your core.
I hope it does.
Our society says the absolute opposite of this about sexual sin.
It's so sad and so awful the way sex outside of marriage is touted in our society as "normal" and even "healthy".
Oh but it grieves God. And it destroys a man's soul.
"He does not know it will cost him his life". Prov 7:23
So I want to ring the bell. I want to yell in the streets -- you don't know the danger. You can't see the wreckage, but it is happening whether you see it or not.
So, much of Proverbs warns against the temptation of the wrong way of sex (and so many other places explicitly as well as embedded in stories of men who made these mistakes themselves).
It is a powerful warning.
I hope and pray this episode shakes you from your slumber.
And puts the fear of God in you so you no longer see yourself as a victim but as one who "does not even go near her corner".
Sexual sin should NOT be trifled with.
You know what sexual sin is for you (is it in reality or fantasy... all of that is the sin we are talking about.)
May you see the see evil and hide yourself, "But the naive proceed, and pay the penalty" Prv 22:3
That it might not cost you your life.
PS - Join the free Men's Masterclass: Passionize Your Marriage (even if you're the only one doing the work!) starting Oct 11
PPS - If you know your friend needs this material, invite them to the masterclass send him to delightym.com
Get inspired and encouraged by Nick's story. It's amazing! They were miserable.
He had plenty of ministry and church background. He certainly tried his best!
They had 5-kids, including a brand new baby.
But he and she had resigned themselves to misery.
He didn't even want his kids to get married because it was so painful for both of them.
But in 6 weeks it all turned around, by God's grace!
Why do I share this and other stories of God's transformation?
1 - Because you need faith that YOUR marriage can change.
2 - You can get specific insights that Nick changed and why his wife transformed.
3 - And to convince you that you need to take the free Masterclass coming up in October 11, 12 & 13.
delightym.com can get you straight to the Free Men's Masterclass sign up.
(It's easier to type than delightyourmarriage.com but both will get you to the registration page!)
(To help spread the word about DYM--even internationally to countries where evangelizing carries the death penalty (not an exaggeration!)--leave a 5-star iTunes review, here's how: delightym.com/itunes )
PS - Be sure to join us on the FREE Men's Masterclass - delightym.com Oct 11, 12 & 13
Our society today so often wants to ignore God's design and essentially forget the fear of the Lord.
But, he made men and women in His image and those uniquenesses are incredible!
Physiological, psychological, emotional, and sexual...UNIQUE.
Each of our uniquenesses is God's glory revealed.
It's our opportunity to search out His glory through each other.
And it makes sense that the enemy wants to undermine God's design in every way that he can.
One way is pretending that we're the same.
Why is this bad?
Well, husbands assume their wives are intentionally hurting them because she is "withholding" love (in the unique way he receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction.
And wives assume their husbands are intentionally hurting them because he is "withholding" love (in the unique way she receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction.
But if we start with the perspective:
My spouse, my "ezer kə·neḡ·dōw" (from Gen 2:18), is WILDLY different than me because God made him/her that way.
They desire, love, enjoy, crave completely different things than I do---let me discover what those things are!
In sum: assume you are completely different than your spouse and that you can learn how to love them the way they receive love.
"Making love" rather than having sex is a vital piece. Listen in to learn more.
I'm praying and rooting for you in this!
PS - Men: your free masterclass is right around the corner starting October 11 (don't miss it, add it to your calendar!) and sign up delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass
Pastor Nathan's wife had abuse/trauma growing up that severely inhibited her sexual desire and affection with him.
They were good people and she wanted to love him well, but couldn't because of her past.
And her libido was SO low.
Pastor Nathan went through the Masculinity Reclaimed program and his wife transformed before his eyes.
(She didn't do a program).
His favorite moment was when he said after a very passionate experience and he said "thank you"--she responded "well, it was because I wanted it so badly"!
Pastor Todd & Donna had a great marriage. (Donna joined him for this interview!)
They come from a long line of pastors and are very busy doing a lot for others.
And it was really good -- but intimacy was physically painful for Donna and she also had low drive.
Pastor Todd joined the MR program (almost by accident) and he felt like he didn't belong there because everyone seemed to have it much worse.
And he felt that her physical pain wasn't because of him at all.
But, he took a step of faith and signed up. She didn't do a program.
BUT... through the program SHE started initiating way more than ever and she didn't even notice.
She started enjoying it more and their marriage has flourished!
He has a Masters in Family Life Ministry said in an email to me:
"My wife and I have been to and led MANY Christian marriage conferences and retreats and
Bible studies and have watched many marriage videos and read many books and I have done
pre-marriage counseling with couples in my role as a pastor and camp director, but I have never
experienced anything as comprehensive and effective as Masculinity Reclaimed!"
Excited for you to hear these two mens' stories, as professionals in the field God has used MR to help their own marriages and I am SO honored, humbled and grateful.
PS - If you want to see what MR is all about and get some fantastic free training, sign up for the Free Men's Masterclass coming up next month: October 11, 2021 ( delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass )
This is the next part of Communication Secrets and I think it's an important addendum.
We talk about what to do when you're disappointed with your spouse.
When you want them to change.
When you feel they were irresponsible.
I have two examples for you:
1 - When a friend was irresponsible and God brought conviction even when He kept me from saying anything.
2 - When I was irresponsible (I know---unbelievable!) and God brought conviction even when my husband didn't say anything.
I hope this brings you encouragement, direction, and skills as you attempt to live God's way in your marriage.
PS - The free Masterclass is coming up soon (for a limited time) and I encourage you to sign up ASAP so you don't miss it! delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass
PPS - I'm excited to invite you to an "Intimacy Secrets Summit" that I was honored to be a part of. A superstar cast of intimacy experts that I would encourage you to get a seat with! Coming up next week!
So much stress revolves around communication.
I've been there!
My husband and I have miscommunications everyday.
Today, for example, I was telling him about a sore in my mouth and he was sure I was talking about Europe.
That is silly and allowed for laughter.
But what about when someone is lost and just hoping for the other to quickly look up directions.
Or when you're in a stressful situation and one of you is incomprehensible (to you).
Well, I want to invite you to reframe what good communication is.
I want to invite you to consider what really matters in communication with your spouse.
I try to debunk some unhelpful cliches:
"Your spouse should be your best friend", or
"You have to be compatible with someone to be happy", or
"If you don't connect on common interests, you'll die a miserable, lonely, painful death.”
Alright, that last one isn't a cliche I've heard! (but maybe have felt?)
Let's get some fun back in our lives and let miscommunication be the fodder!
PS If you need immediate help in your marriage and you've seen some changes from podcasts so far, now is the time to let that inertia grow into long term transformation with training and tailored support.
So if that's what you need, get on the phone with a Clarity Advisor and they'll see if we are the right fit for your situation: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Two brothers were at the playground the other day.
I was talking to their mom. This happens to be a beautiful playground with a huge fountain and amazing monkey bars, places to run, sand, swings, ride-on toys, and loads of other kids to play with.
But guess what these two did? They fought over the same circular "stool" to stand on!
The mom and I laughed. With everything available for them to do, THAT is what they had to fight about.
Then I think about God.
We get into squabbles with our spouses. Over...
Who told the story most correctly, who knows the quickest way to the store, what they really meant by that phrase, whether or not they're late, who squishes the toothpaste out correctly...
Higher than the heavens are above the earth are His thoughts higher than our thoughts, are His ways higher than our ways.
God have mercy!
May we get it right...get into God's will for us.
That starts with the fear of the Lord.
The fear of the Lord puts our lives, habits, tiny things we do, and ways of being into the perspective of eternity.
I talk about how vital it is to get into the Word in order to see things correctly.
We can have absolute faith in the Word when we pursue people who have studied this. In fact, many people who started as atheists studied it and became Christians. The discipline is called "Apologetics" and I encourage you to pursue it to bolster your faith and then get on with what God wants you to do in this world.
...And let me tell you it doesn't include squabbles about toothpaste (or other things that are at that level of small, childish thinking.)
Listen in for perspective shifts and encouragement.
PS - Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to have a Clarity Call with a Clarity Advisor to get help for your marriage right away!
I really do mean this title.
I keep seeing miracles, but when people don't recognize God's working in their lives... it may not continue.
It seems that sometimes people can get so fixed in a mindset of misery that when God does a miracle, they can think it was just a fluke and go back to their same ways of thinking.
The problem with that is, when your wife does something out of the ordinary and you don't thank God for it and have a grateful heart about it, she thinks it didn't matter to you and doesn't do that, or anything more, again.
Or, if your husband finally does some movement in the direction you've desperately prayed for him to go, but you don't believe it's really real, he decides it doesn't really matter to you so he decides he won't do that (very vulnerable) thing again.
We have to recognize God's miracle, let go of the past, trust His hand in our lives and live like He has done the work.
Ten lepers were healed. Jesus didn't call it faith that they were healed.
He called it faith when the one leper came back and praised God for the healing.
I don't think it was that they weren't grateful. I think they doubted the miracle. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe it would have happened anyway. Maybe it won't last.
And the problem is, from the story, Jesus only said, "Your faith has made you well," to the one who praised God for the miracle.
Sadly, I don't know if those other 9 got to keep their miracle...
I encourage you to recognize God's hand in your life. Call it a miracle. Praise God for it and witness Him continuing to work in your life.
PS - If you need immediate help in your marriage, sign up for a Clarity Call where a Clarity Advisor (trained by me and a graduate from DYM programs themselves) will help discern if we can help and what the right next step would be! delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Do not let the sun go down on your anger IS a scripture.
But for us go-getters it often feels like an argument has to get settled before any of us go to sleep.
So there we are fighting about sex at 12am and wondering why the conversation didn't make both of us feel warm and connected?
My encouragement is to feel the anger (which probably is just hurt covered over by anger) and choose to take a break. Feel the feelings with God. Let them go. Forgive her.
My encouragement is to feel the anger (which probably is just hurt covered over by anger) and choose to take a break. Feel the feelings with God. Let them go. Forgive her. Forgive him.
And... as the scripture actually reads:
"Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger".
And get a good night's rest. Then be wise about how to have a real and connecting conversation in the future that moves the ball forward.
Short and sweet today. But hopefully powerful for you!
PS - If you'd like some free downloads check them here: delightyourmarriage.com/free
PPS - We're hiring!
I'm looking for an awesome part time Tech person who loves Jesus and DYM -- who knows about online business-type apps, integrations, and basically the stuff I don't :) And that you love tech!
You'll be trained on our particular tools, our tech team and I currently use, but I'd like you to come with some fantastic skills to bring to the table!
You'll be joining an amazing team and have the opportunity to use your skills and passion to truly impact lives around the world for the Kingdom!
Send an email to email@example.com and we can send you more details. <3
I used to think I only respected someone if they deserved it.
Whether that was my husband or the young adults I worked with. Which meant I didn't treat them with respect. Maybe not blatant disrespect as I saw it. But more neutral.
Though I have come to find out "neutral" is generally not good.
My natural tendency if I don't have the correct heart (that God created everyone and they should be treated with respect) is being mean.
Maybe it's our human nature?
Anyway, what I discovered is if I'm trying to tell my husband what's best for him, how he should improve, or what to do...
He's busy being mad at me rather than listening to the Holy Spirit and discovering his own journey to growth.
(We want our husbands to be the spiritual leaders right? Then we've gotta stop being their spiritual leader.
And give them the space and support and encouragement to do it for themselves.)
But he was so untrustworthy. Inconsistent. Unhelpful. Unreliable. Irresponsible. And worse...
I was doing everything and unless I would nag, push, correct, complain, teach, criticize... it wouldn't get done.
I was so exhausted.
It wasn't until I decided to
and no longer hold his past over his head---let him be a new man in my eyes,
2-let God change my heart according to His will,
3-change my words, and
Did I witness my husband transform.
And He changed without my "brilliantly helpful" input.
I also speak to women who have experienced betrayal in the form of pornography, an affair or something else.
My heart breaks for you. I would love to hold you in your legitimate anger and pain.
And I want to give some guidance on what I think is helpful next steps.
I encourage you to listen with an open heart and see if God has a nugget of wisdom that you need in your life.
PS If you need immediate help, please apply for a Clarity Call ($300 value) for free at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
A Clarity Advisor (graduates of DYM programs) will walk through your specific situation with you and help discern if this is the right fit for you to witness God's transformation of your marriage. delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Also, I have loads of free content to get for you: delightyourmarriage.com/free
We're all insecure.
Which I think is why God says "do not fear" so often in the Bible.
The only one we are to fear is Him. (Which when we get that right, it puts everything else in perspective and it's a lot easier to not fear everything else.)
We have to take courage in all aspects of our lives in order to do God's will. And when we fear the wrong things we get off track.
Whether it's fearing rejection or meanness from your wife. Or whether it's fearing what he thinks about your body.
When we take courage in one area of our life it permeates to others. When we take courage in our intimacy in our marriage, it permeates to taking courage to do what God wants us to do in other people's lives.
I am really excited to speak to you today about the fears that typically hold men and women back from doing intimacy the way I think God intends: naked and unashamed, aka naked and courageous.
PS - If you need to speak to someone about what a next step might be for you in your walk and journey.
You can apply for a Clarity Call where a member of my team a Clarity Advisor may be able to speak with you and determine how we can help you get to where you're yearning to go.
PPS - I have a ton of free resources for you at delightyourmarriage.com/free
PPSS - Oh! And I was interviewed on this cool youtube channel the other day by a friend from long ago. It's exciting to see where she is and that she shared her platform with me. Check it out here!
If you've ever heard my husband on the podcast, you'll want to hear him now. I was speaking to a mom at the playground and she was remarking at how calm Darrow is. "I think babies love him because they can somehow sense his calmness and presence. It's very unique.” I couldn't agree more.
On today's episode, you'll hear the amazing stories! (I was hoping to go "rapid fire" through a ton of the stories... well, we definitely didn't do that, but I think it's actually a lot better this way.)
If you're a man who is suffering in your marriage, you will find encouragement, validation, and hope---you are not alone. Your marriage can change. It has for many others.
Where these men started from was seriously bleak. But, wow! It is wild to see where they they have gone! Darrow says it's like they were stuck in this deep, deep mud - frustrated, angry, in pain, sad, and ready to give up (you may be able to relate), and now they're on the red carpet - like a dream. No one would ever imagine they were ever in that spot.
Listen in today to hear my husband's advice, suggestions, and plain-old encouragement to you, dear listener.
PS - The free Men's Masterclass is going on right now, but it will be closing soon, so be sure to sign up at delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass.
PPS - If you're ready to enroll in Masculinity Reclaimed for the fall semester, space is limited and we'll close enrollment if we hit a certain size, so be sure to go to delightyourmarriage.com/mr-enroll-fall and sign up asap.
JFYI - Anyone who signs up on the first day of enrollment - Thursday, July 22, 2021 - will receive a free team strategy session with me directly!
I'm so excited to witness God transform your marriage, too!
So, this is such a fun story to share. I believe it will inspire hope, excitement and most importantly faith that God can do this for you too!
I remember speaking with Timothy on our first call together and the sincere pain and loneliness he felt with his wife which was so visceral and real.
He reached out firstly just to thank me for an encouraging podcast that he stumbled upon after a really tough moment between he and his wife and it encouraged him.
My heart went out to him. A big part of him thought the state of his marriage was "just the way it was".
How could a class fix that?
Timothy shares what happened to him when he got the tools and training of Masculinity Reclaimed.
What happened to his marriage when he implemented it.
What changes he made.
Week in and week out he "showed up" and did what I asked -- and what I think you can tell by listening to his story is that he changed.
She didn't know he was doing the program, but she started responding to his change.
He was a "Delight Your Marriage binge-listener" before. (I'm super honored for those of you out there! :)
But it wasn't until he was actually in the Masculinity Reclaimed program where the principles I teach are ordered in the way that his marriage needed with tweaks particular to his situation to heal and then be on a completely different trajectory.
Before he worked so much because he didn't have a reason to be home, before she didn't want to spend time, always on her phone,
And guess who cuddles up to him now?
And guess who initiates much more often?
And asks for new things in intimacy?
And has magically dropped life-long the body image concerns and now gives loads of flirty visuals?
Timothy has witnessed his wife become a very different woman because of the way he has changed!
Now people comment to them about how much fun they have together.
Timothy just graduated from the MR program this Spring, and if you want to be in the Fall Semester of Masculinity Reclaimed, I have a "sample" free Men's Masterclass which you can sign up for here.
The free Men's Masterclass is starting Monday, July 19 - 21.
Enrollment in the Fall Semester of Masculinity Reclaimed opens July 22.
I'm so excited for God's miracles to continue to surprise and encourage us toward faith and glorifying Jesus' work... in more mens' lives, more marriages, and continue the good things only God can do!
(Also, keep in mind, Timothy said: "most of the guys" in the course got his kind of results... just wild.) Listen to hear more.
Love & Blessings,
If you are wondering why she won't initiate or she doesn't have passion when you do...
Here are a few things you may be missing.
Too many men reach out to me and work with me that need this.
If we really believe the Bible, then its instruction will solve the "unsatisfied sexually" dilemma in your marriage too!
Spoiler alert: Being the spiritual leader is a turn-on for your wife! Here's why.
Maybe it didn't matter to her early in your relationship, why would it matter now?
What does being the spiritual leader mean? What would help her to feel like you're filling that role?
And here are practical insights to give grace that will motivate her. I fall prey to the issues all women fall prey to which cause us to lose focus on priorities.
How do you help her in a way that motivates and does not repel or bring distance between you two?
You'll also hear from a missionary in a hard-to-reach country about how his marriage lacked passion and frequency, but he shares what he was getting wrong and how you can get it right.
Also, that missionary went through the free masterclass back 3ish months ago.
It's accepting registrants again so, if you're not yet signed up, the free men's masterclass is coming up next week Monday, July 19 - Wednesday 21! Register asap.
This only happens a couple of times a year, so I encourage your o put it on your calendar and be sure you're registered!
After the free masterclass, you'll have the option to enroll in the full, 3-month Masculinity Reclaimed program, opening July 22.
So sign up for the free masterclass, and you'll get all the details to sign up for the Masculinity Reclaimed program!
The free masterclass starts July 19 at 11am, and the free masterclass trainings will be available for about one week.
Coming up on their 35th wedding anniversary, Kim didn't even want to celebrate.
"I don't like you.... I don't want to be mean, but I don't want to lie either".
And Kim definitely didn't want Russ to listen to my material. Because she didn't want him to think more about sex than he already did.
But, after taking the Free Men's Masterclass, Russ felt God told him to go forward with the paid Masculinity Reclaimed program... without her knowledge.
He felt (at least at first) it'd be better for her not to doubt his changes were sincere and not just to "get sex," plus he admitted his motivations became more sincere as he went through the program.
But now she knows...
And I'm excited for you to hear what happened at their anniversary just several days before this recording.
How their marriage, intimacy, and kids have changed. And what SHE thinks about it all now.
If you're suffering in your marriage with pain, feeling unloved, I think hearing from Kim's perspective what changed in her husband that drew her to him and transformed their marriage, will help you have faith for your own.
This is real life and there's time is still required for trust and healing -- but you can tell they are well on their way and there is an openness that only God could have created. Love and
PS - 1) Announcement: The Free Men's Masterclass: Passionize Your Marital Intimacy (even if you're the only one doing the work) is happening July 19, 20 & 21.
So, I encourage you to get registered and mark your calendar because it's only live for 1 week. Assume each day's lesson requires 1 hour, including homework.
I was speaking to some men yesterday who took the Free Men's Masterclass and they emphatically told me about how valuable it was.
Some men have been signed up for months. If you're registered, mark your calendar to be sure you dedicate the time to go through it.
2) Announcement: For those of you who have been waiting for me to reopen enrollment for the paid program...
The Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy, and love being married again, enrollment opens on July 22!
The free men's masterclass I mentioned above provides awesome value and insight and if you want to go deeper and see dramatic transformation...
Join the full Masculinity Reclaimed (MR) is enrolling July 22 -- sign up for the masterclass to get all the information.
The MR program will occur July 29 - Oct 28, 2021.
To find out all the details, enroll in the free men's masterclass :)
Today's topic is a topic that I hear a lot about from men and women.
I'm addressing men because I think there is a lot of misunderstandings about what turns a woman on. I want to give you some practical help. I'm not mincing words here (though I do make up my own--if you're a long-time listener you understand. :)
This may be some of my best guidance for men, and so I hope you listen with a pen and paper. But women may never have been able to articulate their challenges before, and this may give them language for it...
- What matters to her in orgasm
- How to tease
- How to make her enjoy the experience
- Why she doesn't now
Men, I believe this could transform your intimacy if you let it.
PS If you like this, I have a FREE Men's Masterclass coming up Monday, July 19, Tuesday, July 20, & Wednesday, July 21. This is a great effort for me and my whole team (including interactive coursework and an opportunity to win discounts or free coaching with me). Some men have been waiting for this to reopen for months, so register now and add Mon.-Wed., July 19 - 22, to your calendar. (Assume each lesson is about 1 hour -- for the lesson & homework). delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass
Life is messy.
Things get busy.
Our focus can get on things that just don't matter.
We get to start over.
We can take a breath.
We can reach to see God's perspective.
What does He think about this situation?
What matters to Him most in this difficulty?
I don't think we can see His perspective unless we're well-rested.
Unless we "come to Me all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.”
It's a discipline to come to Him...to receive His rest.
It's a discipline to not fill your schedule, mind space, sad moments, loneliness, or even the spots of boredom with things that crowd out our possibility to ponder God's perspective on it.
Because God has a totally different perspective on our lives than we do.
We all get off-base.
Loving our spouses the way they receive love isn't natural.
We're seeking to do something supernatural when we love our spouses well.
So if you are noticing you're falling on your face while trying to do that, or you've gotten off track in loving them well...
God wants you to rest, refocus and get back out there -- He is rooting for you.
All is not lost, He is refining you on the path and in the ways He chooses.
Today's podcast goes into how to rest, how I rest, how I refocus, and how I suggest you "start over" in your marriage and all other areas of your life.
PS - If you haven't looked yet, there are really fantastic free resources at delightyourmarriage.com/free!
She wanted nothing to do with touch, much less intimacy.
She loved the Lord and it took a journey for Him to bring her to a place where she was ready to receive teaching around the importance of intimacy.
When Dana felt like her marriage was all but broken and then God took her on a journey and helped her to see what was missing in their marriage.
They hadn't made love (at all) for years.
And when she took the Free Women's Masterclass the Holy Spirit spoke to her and completely transformed her marriage in a week!
And this is her story of transfomration.
From being repelled by his touch to craving intimacy with her hubby!
PS - If you'd like to take the Free Women's Masterclass that Dana speaks about it's available here for a limited time! delightyourmarriage.com/sc
PPS - If you're a husband who is hoping and praying for your wife to have this kind of transformation, let's see how we can help you.
Fill out a Clarity Call application so you can speak to a DYM Clarity Advisor -- someone who was in your shoes and the Delight Your Marriage programs changed their marriage and life: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
"It's part of life."
But it really is, IF we're growing. If we numb and distract ourselves away from God's growth opportunities, we can really get off track.
When you have made a mistake, own it, apologize for it, learn from it, and tether yourself to Christ BECAUSE of it.
We can't do this on our own. We're not supposed to. And if you think you can, sin is probably getting in there.
When you make a mistake it is a grace.
"It is His kindness that leads us to repentance." Romans 2:4
How cool is it that he redirects us on THIS side of eternity.
Accept a failure as a gift.
A gift to grow.
A gift to say "never again".
A gift to completely change everything.
A gift to make an important tweak.
A gift to make a life-altering habit change. (Yes, habits alter our lives... more on that another time!)
Bravo to you for growing. Bravo to you for listening to God's leadership.
"His ROD and His staff, comfort me." Psalms 23:4
His rod is his direction and redirection -- we get to be comforted by the fact that He will not let us go off the path into danger. If we allow his rod which is firm and instructive to guide us.
Listen in for encouragement and the knowledge that your failure is a GOOD opportunity for God's work in you.
PS - If you're ready to see how God can transform your marriage possibly through a DYM program, you can sign up for a FREE Clarity Call with me or a member of my team here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
If you were looking for marriage counseling, you would first have a consultation to see if you'd be the right fit. That's what a Clarity Call is.
But the real value you get is seeing what's under the surface in your relationship and discerning what God wants in your marriage and life. Would love to have you on! delightyourmarriage.com/cc
When she says, "We just don't communicate," or "You never listen,"...she is talking about this learnable skill.
Listen to her heart. Listen to understand. Listen to let her know you understand and care.
Not listening to respond or even defend yourself.
It is to listen to her emotions and sit with her in her pain. To be curious and to give her a safe space to share. When she shares her emotions (her heart) vulnerably, you are witnessing courage.
You are on sacred ground.
Tread carefully and gently.
For Mother's Day, just the other weekend --
Did I get diamonds?
A weekend getaway at a fancy resort?
A stainless steel, 14-quart Instant Pot Duo Mini 7-in-1 Electric Pressure Cooker?
Sure those would have been good gifts.
what I got was priceless:
Hours of his full attention.
He got excited about what I shared.
He cared about what matters to me -- how I'm growing,
how I was feeling,
and genuinely wanted to hear more.
He noticed my feelings -- wanted to hold space for them --
and held me emotionally...
And...well...did what I teach you to do in today's episode.
It was far more fulfilling than those other things ever could be.
(Just FYI, when he surprised me with my favorite wine, beautiful glasses, roses, and sitting together in a gorgeous spot in Central Park...that did add to the intimately fulfilling conversation. :)
PS If you'd like to have a conversation with me or a member of my team about what's going on in your marriage and see if one of my programs can help you, apply for a Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Delight Your Marriage has been awarded in the Top 30 Relationship Podcasts for 2018, 2019, 2020 & 2021!
"Through working with Belah, my marriage is saved and thriving, and I am forever changed and grateful."