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Delight Your Marriage

Hi, I'm Belah. Along with thousands around the world, you will go deep into the real issues, joys, and how-tos of physical intimacy. It's playful, peaceful, purposeful, and really intimately exciting! Discover insights around godly intimacy on how men tick and how women feel! And you'll be amazed to hear the inspiring stories of transformations and advice from the expert guests as well! It's scriptural and practical. If you're a man, you'll be drawn because you want to understand your wife, how to invite her in intimacy, and even your own God-given sexual desires. If you're a woman you'll understand how to enjoy your own pleasure and love your man through sex. Free gifts for you! https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/free If you're looking to see how to transform your marriage apply for a Clarity Call ($300 value) here: https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc
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Head over to delightyourmarriage.com for your free gift!

Jan 7, 2022
Jfyi, I recorded all of this episode (except for the very last portion) about 11 weeks ago, so for those currently in DYM programs -- take it personally -- but not because I recorded it thinking of you specifically :) 
 
What is masculinity? 

What our society says it is?

Powerful, rich, authority, direct, right, muscular, able and willing to kill, tough, deep, deep voice, no emotion, immovable, winner in every arena, sexually desired, admired by all...

Do you feel you have to always have the last word or you're considered weak?

Do you feel you have to fight to preserve your "manhood"?

Do you feel you have to have sex in a certain way/frequency/variety/engagement/enthusiasm from her, for you to feel like a man?

Do you feel your wife has to treat you with respect for you to feel like you're masculine?
 
I get how it is confusing based on the poor role modeling we get in our SERIOUSLY backward society.
 


The problem is... 

A mature woman scarcely gives a crumb about the aforementioned descriptions. 

And lucky you... you married a mature woman who grew from the early days of your relationship where a lot of those things mattered.

And now she wants a man who... well, I'll tell you.
 
There's an actual, clear example of true masculinity. 

The manliest of men.

The best example of manhood. 

The only one we must compare ourselves to and rise higher because of.

It's impossible to overstate the importance of us looking at Jesus as the role model of masculinity.
 

Jesus.
The one who was ridiculed, spit on, false accused, humiliated, laughed at, disrespected, endured suffering when he could have killed them all with a simple word...

That is the true man. 

That is our true masculinity. 

And that is what it means to be potent. 
 
When you live, love, and lead like Jesus, that is the man your wife is longing for.
 
Blessings, 
Belah
 
PS - If you're ready... but you don't know how to do this practically. 

That's why we've created and perfected the program Masculinity Reclaimed... God has used it to restore and revive MANY a sexless and lonely marriage. 

We'd love to help you, starting with a simple risky step of getting on a call with a Clarity Advisor who themselves have gone through a DYM program and God change THEIR marriages as a result. 

Would love to join you in this delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Be a real man, (LOL ;) we'd love to take that next step with you.

 

Jan 4, 2022

Do you have your goals for 2022?

Do you have your goals for Q1 of 2022?

I don't just mean business/work goals. I mean goals that help align your life with God's will.

Do you have a system for discerning God's will?

Well, in this episode I give you my system for discerning God's will and writing goals accordingly.


It's thorough, comprehensive, "begins with the end in mind", and keeps an eye to meeting Jesus central.

Too often people fail to consider the big picture so the small picture seems like it doesn't matter. Well, I want to give you a serious kick in the motivation and "you can do it!" through this episode.

Because -- through Christ -- you following God's will, can be super practical and doable! Here's my system.


The beginning of January is when everyone is excited about goals, so I suggest you use that momentum to set your own goals for the next 3 months (Not year, 3 months -- you'll hear why).

Now is the best time to discern and commit to those goals.

---

Also, if marriage is on that list...we can help!

Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to schedule a free Clarity Call (similar to a consultation) where a Clarity Advisor speaks with you about your situation and evaluates how we can help.

Our 3-month programs cost about what you would pay a marriage therapist if you did weekly sessions for 3 months. We have seen couple after couple experiencing huge benefits in their marriages! (Have you checked out our amazing testimonials????)

Ever considered how much that you paid to get married? (Average cost of a wedding in the US is $28,000 nowadays!) Maybe yours was far less than that, but may I ask how much have you invested since then...to make it a lifelong, intimate & happy marriage? Which touches EVERY area of your life?

2022 may be the year to get help on that vow you made however many years ago!

Sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to find out how we can help you.

---

No matter what your goals are in 2022...I want you to be intentional about discerning and setting them.

From all of us at DYM -- We love you and love being a part of your lives in the last year and are so grateful we get to be a part in 2022!!!

Listen in to today's podcast: 320-How I Discern God's Will -- Your 2022 Goals

---

 

Blessings,

Belah


PS - A recent wife graduate wrote, "I have so enjoyed working with Belah. She has opened my mind and eyes to so many needs and desires of my husband that I honestly was ignorant of.

I am so grateful for the way we have grown closer in our relationship both sexually and emotionally.

Even though we are in a busy, tiring stage of life with 4 kids - 5 and under, I still find myself craving intimate sex and alone time with my husband."

Sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to find out how we can help you.

Dec 16, 2021

Oh, we wish you a Merry Christmas,

and we wish you fear-free Christmas,

and we wish you a faith-filled Christmas,

and from all of us at D-Y-M!

 

That's just one example of why my kids drown out my singing when I make up words to popular tunes. 

 

Regardless of my kids, here's another one I'm proud of...

---ehemm---

Let it go. 

Let it go. 

Don't worry 'bout it anymore--

Let it go. 

Let it go ---

Just wait to see what's in store. 

We don't know, what God has planned. 

But if we trust in Him -- 

He'll give us the strength to stand. 

---*bow*---

I am proud of that one. They... are not. 

 

(I promise I sang neither of those on today's podcast episode.)

 

But today's conversation is about faith.

Faith is what we celebrate at Christmas.

 

The faith we have in Jesus being brought into the world for us.

And this is the faith I want to remind you of during this season that often can get crowded up with all the holiday festivities.

 

I want to talk about how vital faith is for the miracle you're looking for in your marriage.

I want to talk about how vital faith is for God's hand in your life.

And how -- I don't want to block God's miracles, because of my lack of faith. 

There are nuances that I hope you'll listen to from the episode.

 

But what about when you have faith and God doesn't come through like you hoped? We walk through that as well.

 

Ultimately, from this episode this is what my aim is:

When we get to the other side of eternity and look back, I hope, hope, hope Jesus will "marvel" at our faith. 

That I would not be offended by His choices, but I would have faith all the more regardless.

That I would not disappoint and frustrate Him by lacking in faith, especially after ALL the amazing experiences I've seen others have and those He's given me personally.

 

May we each stand in that place of faith that moves mountains. 

 

May Christmas provoke us to walk nearer and in closer relationship with and in awe of the man who came to us...

Jesus, who is Christ the King.

Love, 
Belah

PS -- I challenged you to pray about whether or not 2022 would be the year that you spent 3 months focusing on transforming your marriage.

And if it is -- I ask you to schedule a call with a wonderful Clarity Advisor delightyourmarriage.com/cc who can guide you through your own story and see how we can help.

 

PPS -- Those songs above are not copyrighted (yet--just kidding ;D ), so you can feel free to whip those out the next time you need a bit of extra faith and trust! 

Dec 10, 2021

How do we process feelings in order to bring about healing into our relationships, rather than cause tension and strife?

Can we trust our feelings?

Do you struggle to interpret your spouses feelings? Does your spouse misinterpret your feelings?

This podcast will help give some guidance about healthy ways to process our feelings and the feelings of those who are in our lives.

What is your compass?

Although feelings are real, feelings can be a disastrous compass. Feelings are volatile, unpredictable, and often, not even accurate to reality.

There is a MUCH better compass to live by!

In order to act in wisdom with our feelings, they cannot be our leader! Rather than react to our feelings, we need to respond to our feelings. 

To be direct in our communication is easy for the speaker, but it is hard for the listener. Does our communication style make those who hear us feel safe, cherished, respected, admired, and loved?

Yes, feelings - wisely handled - can be so helpful in so many ways! I invite you into this podcast with Belah as she shares some valuable insights on this subject.

On behalf of Belah, ~ Darcy

PS If you would like help with your marriage, you are invited to click on this link to schedule a free Clarity Call with a DYM advisor.

Dec 1, 2021

Oh wow -- what an awesome and surprising conversation I got to have with Ebony. 

Firstly, this was supposed to be my opportunity to coach her as a recorded call for our ladies in the group. But, it turned into her sharing her testimony and wonderful insights and encouragements from her life that I just had to share with you!

She was raised by a single dad, her husband was raised by a single mom. 

Due to trauma and difficult heartaches in their history, they've suffered many challenges.

She has 3 kids and wanted to rewrite the story of their future families.

When she found DYM it was after she had a season of working on her mental health through therapy. (Something I have done and highly recommend as well!)

When she found the DYM podcast, God started speaking to her through the material. And she decided to get on a Clarity Call and join the program. 

She didn't tell her husband because so many times in the past she has said something, he'd get his hopes up and then he would be disappointed. 

She decided she would do the work this time without him knowing.

And she started but was so sad to see him resist her efforts. It wasn't until she gave it to God and waited on Him, did her husband started pursuing her again! And now things are getting closer and closer -- in amazing ways!

As a woman of color, she has lived the unique challenges of her community and has come to a place of seeking to be an example of transformation for her own daughters and their friends. 

God is doing amazing things in her life and by listening, I think you'll be lifted up and encouraged as well!

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - Like her, if you're interested in a Clarity Call, you can go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc we can listen and see if we can partner with you and witness what God may want to do in your marriage!

 

AVAILABLE FOR 5 MORE DAYS....

PPS - For a limited time (this training is going away soon!) there is a free masterclass for Christian wives:
delightyourmarriage.com/wm

If you're a wife, it would be an awesome Christmas present to him for you to take it! <3 Enjoy!

(If you're a husband who wants to get her to do this training, check out a free training for YOU: delightyourmarriage.com/advice )
Nov 23, 2021

Last week was part 1, and today I'm excited to bring you the last few items to rekindle the romance, intimacy, connection that may have been lost over the years. 

Today, I am giving insights on sex, including responsive vs. spontaneous drive and libido. Which I think will help men and women - high or low drive.

Seriously, if you know someone struggling in marriage -- these are the episodes to send them. 

It's definitely high-level but if they'd follow it -- oh, my -- they'd be in a better place!

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - If you need help, we're here! Sign up for a Clarity Call (free, but worth $300) to determine how we can help you... delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - For a limited time (this training is going away soon!) there is a free masterclass for Christian wives: 

delightyourmarriage.com/wm

Wife, it would be an awesome Christmas present to him for you to take it! <3 Enjoy!

Nov 23, 2021

So this is a catch-all type of episode that seeks to give you high-level insights where you can almost immediately gain traction in rekindling romance, passion, and connection your marriage -- or just take it to the next level. 

So, if you've been looking for something...anything that could help -- here you go!

If you have a friend who is on the rocks with their spouse, send them this episode (and the one coming out next week).

If they follow it, I believe they'll witness God's dramatic transformation.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you need help with your marriage immediately -- get on a call with a Clarity Advisor to go through how we can help you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - If you are a wife and want to give your husband true connection for Christmas... take this free masterclass only available for a short time -- go to delightyourmarriage.com/wm

Nov 16, 2021

JUST in time for the holidays!

Please listen to this before you have a blow-up with the people most important to you. I'll give you a lot of tools that you can implement immediately.

(Warning: All of the scriptures below and in the episode are personalized to your spouse, but if you know you'll be seeing a certain someone who triggers you, put their name in there, too!)

---

When I look at scriptures like...

Phil 2:3

“Do nothing towards [your spouse] out of selfish ambition or strife but value [your spouse] above yourself.”

“Care not of your interests but care about the interests of [your spouse].” 

 

That's kind of a knock in the face needed to stop always thinking about ourselves, isn't it?

And don't most of our marital fights start because that's the only one we're thinking about?

 

I just wonder if we'd be proud of ourselves if a transcript of the last fight was read from the pulpit on Sunday.

 

But...you may be thinking about when your spouse comes at you with...

-Untrue accusations...

-Totally, self-centered criticisms...

-Immature and discouraging complaints...

What are you supposed to do?

 

That's what I'm going to help you see in today's conversation. 

Here's the summary if you can't listen in right now...

1 - Have a daily prayer time for your spouse & a daily time in the Word so your heart and mind are shaped by God's leadership.

[Enter negativity from spouse]

2 - Wait. 

3 - Could there be something you don't understand that is why they are reacting that way?

4 - Compassionately circle back after emotions have calmed and listen to understand, not to respond.

5 - [Several other things I include in the podcast]

6 - Witness God do amazing things.

 

In this episode, I also teach you how to personalize the Bible so it helps you with your marriage.

And how to get started loving this book (even if it feels like a chore now).

 

Suffice it to say that God cares about what comes out of our mouths. Here's another motivating scripture...

 

Prov 12:18 -- “Your reckless words pierce [your spouse] like swords.” 

 

Yikes!

Let's let that word picture motivate us to hold our tongue!

Start at home, because that's your most important human assignment. The person you can harm or heal the most. 

 

The final part of Prov. 12:18 “...your tongue -- if you are wise -- brings healing to [your spouse].” 

 

Isn't that what we want, everyone around us to be healed? Is us "being right" more important than their healing?

 

When this habit is strong with our spouse, it impacts our habits with our kids, our extended family, our friends, our work, our light in the world... 

Everyone. 

 

I pray that this encourages you to be the peacemaker in your home - as that is what God, through His Word, asks of you.

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - Get the help you need by speaking to a Clarity Advisor (a $300 value) for free here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

A recent grad from the Masculinity Reclaimed course said, "Thanks for changing my life and my marriage in ways I didn't even think needed changing."

PPS - I've got a ton of free resources if you haven't yet checked them: delightyourmarriage.com/free

Nov 11, 2021

You have too much riding on this. 

There is too much to lose or gain. 

Don't give up. 

My goal today is to encourage you. You're doing a really good job. Just by tuning in, you're winning.

You're seeking to love your spouse well, even when it doesn't look like it matters. 

You're seeking to do God's will in the midst of your circumstances. 

My husband is on the show today because he's the best encourager that I know. And I want you to hear from him how much he wants you to know, you're on the right path, you're doing the right thing, and I am proud of you. 

Love,

Belah

PS - If you need help right away, get with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help you: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - If you have yet to check out our free stuff -- do so here! delightyourmarriage.com/free

Nov 5, 2021

Sometimes we look at our blowups and wonder -- how did we even get here? 

How did a wrong turn, an unpaid bill, an unwashed dish, or a burnt potholder... turn into World War III?

What happened here?

And why is this kind of nonsense tearing our family apart at its foundations?

It's because you're not really fighting about a potholder. 

You're fighting about all the unmet expectations from the years and years of pain you've experienced. And so is your spouse. 

How do you get out of this cycle? 

And more important: what does Jesus require of you in this cycle? 

What does is matter in eternity whether or not you succumb to these kinds of blow ups?

Well, my goal is to give you a bit of fear of the Lord to decide you are going to be a real follower of Jesus and the blow ups aren't gonna fly. 

 I hope you'll listen in with an open heart and a desire to grow and be edified. And ultimately a desire to grow closer to God's will for you.

Blessings, 

Belah

PS - Two things: 

1 - if you haven't yet checked, there are a ton of helpful free resources here: delgithyourmarriage.com/free

2 - if you need immediate help, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to get a free Clarity Call where someone from my team will speak to you deeply about your specific situation and see if we can help. 

Oct 29, 2021

I used to be so weirded out by sex, because I was pursuing Jesus with everything. 

How could my life be sold out for Christ and have to engage in such carnal behavior?

Then God opened my eyes to quite a lot. I hope you'll listen to today's podcast with an open heart and willingness to let Him reveal His true design and desire for you in your marriage. 

Love & Blessings,

Belah

PS - if you need immediate help with your marriage/intimacy please set up a call with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help: delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

Oct 16, 2021

Masculinity Reclaimed (the program these gents took to transform their lives, by God's grace) has opened enrollment and it all closes down this Monday, October 18, 2021 11:59pm EST delightyourmarriage.com/minvite

--

How frequently have you heard of marriages "on the rocks" or getting divorced? And how frequently are you hearing of marriages transformed and healed and better than when they were dating! (In just 3 months!?!?!?!)

 

HERE!

 

God is doing it HERE! 

 

I want your faith to be inspired and encouraged and for you to feel true HOPE that if it can happen for him and him and him and him and him and him and him...

It could happen for you!

(And these are ONLY the men from the program who are brave enough to have their face and voice out on the internet for all to hear/see!)

It's a movement and we have the largest turn out we've ever had in the free Men's Masterclass! And men are joining Masculinity Reclaimed left and right. 

 

Now is your time -- you owe it to yourself to find out if this is where God would want you in this season.

 

Find out all the details: delightyourmarriage.com/minvite

 

(If you have a friend who needs hope, send them this podcast, you may be the only one who helps him see that things could really be different if he was just willing to step up. Thank you <3)

 

Love & Blessings,

Belah

PS - Masculinity Reclaimed enrollment closes down this Monday, October 18, 2021, 11:59pm EST delightyourmarriage.com/minvite

Oct 15, 2021

If you're looking for hope that your marriage or intimacy could change, you've found it. 

These are rapid-fire stories of how these men's marriages literally transformed in simply 3 months. 


Here are these guys saying in rapid-fire interviews:

"Now, it's better than when we were dating"

"She initiated 5x in a week" and she didn't know he was doing the program.

"Our emotional connection is so much better than it was...she's softening"

"Our intimacy is night and day different" 

 

If it can happen for them, why not you? I bet you'll hear your own story in theirs.

 

The Masculinity Reclaimed program is what they did and now God has transformed intimacy for their marriages!

Listen in to hear hope and encouragement!

 

Join the Masculinity Reclaimed program before it all closes down 11:59pmEST on Monday Oct 18, 2021

delightyourmarriage.com

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - Once you go through MR, I'd like to add your testimonial to the list---it's pretty long at this point, but I want yours too :)

Why not have the most amazing Christmas and New Year you've ever had! If you start now, that'll be a reality!

Join us -- delightyourmarriage.com

Oct 14, 2021

delightyourmarriage.com/minvite

 

If you join within the first day, you can get the fast-action bonus Team Strategy Session with Belah!

 

Hope to see you on the inside!

Belah

Oct 12, 2021

delightym.com

Join us! 

Some gents have met together to go through the material carefully after each class (like a Bible Study!).

Some men have moved their vacation schedules!

Some men asked if they should take off work to make sure they can be a part. 

Our team does an amazing job of making this a fantastic experience for the attendees -- very interactive with quizzes, points, prizes and most of all an opportunity to gain the perspective and tools that could change your marriage forever!

Join us, Oct 11, 12 & 13

delightym.com

Oct 8, 2021

This Monday -- Oct 11 is when the Men's Masterclass begins -- sign up delightym.com and please send it to your friend who may need this.

--Now to the show!--

I think all the wives will want their husbands to listen to this one. 

 

Because I have the good fortune of working with men every (work) day and hearing their unfiltered thoughts about intimacy...

I can help you understand why your wife often rejects you.

 

One of the major truths is that it's SCARY to initiate sex with your wife. 

 

So, you probably do...

 

But in general, it's a half-invested way, in hopes that her rejection won't feel so painful. Because from experience it has been rejected, even your best attempts.

 

Fast forward to today. 

 

Now, because a husband's attempt at enticing his wife to make love is so "inadequate" for fear of rejection.

(Jfyi "inadequate" was the thesaurus's replacement for "lame" :) )

For this reason, the wife naturally would reject it.

 

But what if we took the fear out of this exchange entirely?

And your enticing her towards intimacy was filling for her and could even be successful!?

 

AND you're not full of fear.

 

Is that even possible?

I think with these insights, you will be well on your way.

to invite a wife--who is never in the mood-- 

to be in the mood!

 

--

Jfyi, I go a lot deeper in all of this in a systematized and even templated way in one of the bonus courses, "Romantic Initiating: Start the way she craves". It's part of the Masculinity Reclaimed program. 

If you sign up for the men's masterclass you'll find out all of the details.

Join the free Men's Masterclass starting Oct 11 -- sign up ASAP delightym.com 

We all have someone who needs help in their marriage, I would be honored and I encourage you to have the courage to send them this way! delightym.com 

Oct 7, 2021

He does not know it will cost him his life.

 

Sounds like a horror movie -- where the killer is waiting in the woods without the person knowing.

But the person should never have come into the haunted house in the first place -- if only he knew it would cost him his life.

(Isn't that how those horror movies go? I don't actually know, I don't watch them.)

 

But, my hope is that this episode would grab you at your core. 

 

I hope it does. 

 

Our society says the absolute opposite of this about sexual sin.

 

It's so sad and so awful the way sex outside of marriage is touted in our society as "normal" and even "healthy".

 

Oh but it grieves God. And it destroys a man's soul. 

 

"He does not know it will cost him his life". Prov 7:23

 

So I want to ring the bell. I want to yell in the streets -- you don't know the danger. You can't see the wreckage, but it is happening whether you see it or not. 

 

So, much of Proverbs warns against the temptation of the wrong way of sex (and so many other places explicitly as well as embedded in stories of men who made these mistakes themselves).  

It is a powerful warning. 

I hope and pray this episode shakes you from your slumber.

And puts the fear of God in you so you no longer see yourself as a victim but as one who "does not even go near her corner".

 

Sexual sin should NOT be trifled with.

You know what sexual sin is for you (is it in reality or fantasy... all of that is the sin we are talking about.) 

May you see the see evil and hide yourself, "But the naive proceed, and pay the penalty" Prv 22:3

That it might not cost you your life.

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - Join the free Men's Masterclass: Passionize Your Marriage (even if you're the only one doing the work!) starting Oct 11

PPS - If you know your friend needs this material, invite them to the masterclass send him to delightym.com 

Oct 1, 2021

Get inspired and encouraged by Nick's story. It's amazing! They were miserable.

He had plenty of ministry and church background. He certainly tried his best!

They had 5-kids, including a brand new baby.

But he and she had resigned themselves to misery.

He didn't even want his kids to get married because it was so painful for both of them.

But in 6 weeks it all turned around, by God's grace!

 

Why do I share this and other stories of God's transformation?

1 - Because you need faith that YOUR marriage can change. 

2 - You can get specific insights that Nick changed and why his wife transformed. 

3 - And to convince you that you need to take the free Masterclass coming up in October 11, 12 & 13.

 

delightym.com can get you straight to the Free Men's Masterclass sign up.

(It's easier to type than delightyourmarriage.com but both will get you to the registration page!)

 

(To help spread the word about DYM--even internationally to countries where evangelizing carries the death penalty (not an exaggeration!)--leave a 5-star iTunes review, here's how: delightym.com/itunes )

 

Love, 

Belah

 

PS - Be sure to join us on the FREE Men's Masterclass - delightym.com Oct 11, 12 & 13

Sep 21, 2021

Our society today so often wants to ignore God's design and essentially forget the fear of the Lord.

But, he made men and women in His image and those uniquenesses are incredible!

Physiological, psychological, emotional, and sexual...UNIQUE.

Each of our uniquenesses is God's glory revealed.

It's our opportunity to search out His glory through each other. 

And it makes sense that the enemy wants to undermine God's design in every way that he can.

One way is pretending that we're the same. 

Why is this bad?

Well, husbands assume their wives are intentionally hurting them because she is "withholding" love (in the unique way he receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction.

And wives assume their husbands are intentionally hurting them because he is "withholding" love (in the unique way she receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction.

But if we start with the perspective:

My spouse, my "ezer kə·neḡ·dōw" (from Gen 2:18), is WILDLY different than me because God made him/her that way.

They desire, love, enjoy, crave completely different things than I do---let me discover what those things are!

In sum: assume you are completely different than your spouse and that you can learn how to love them the way they receive love. 

"Making love" rather than having sex is a vital piece. Listen in to learn more.

I'm praying and rooting for you in this!

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Men: your free masterclass is right around the corner starting October 11 (don't miss it, add it to your calendar!) and sign up delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass

Sep 17, 2021

Pastor Nathan's wife had abuse/trauma growing up that severely inhibited her sexual desire and affection with him. 

They were good people and she wanted to love him well, but couldn't because of her past. 

And her libido was SO low. 

Pastor Nathan went through the Masculinity Reclaimed program and his wife transformed before his eyes.

(She didn't do a program).

His favorite moment was when he said after a very passionate experience and he said "thank you"--she responded "well, it was because I wanted it so badly"!

--

Pastor Todd & Donna had a great marriage. (Donna joined him for this interview!)

They come from a long line of pastors and are very busy doing a lot for others. 

And it was really good -- but intimacy was physically painful for Donna and she also had low drive.

Pastor Todd joined the MR program (almost by accident) and he felt like he didn't belong there because everyone seemed to have it much worse. 

And he felt that her physical pain wasn't because of him at all. 

But, he took a step of faith and signed up. She didn't do a program.

BUT... through the program SHE started initiating way more than ever and she didn't even notice.

She started enjoying it more and their marriage has flourished!

He has a Masters in Family Life Ministry said in an email to me:

"My wife and I have been to and led MANY Christian marriage conferences and retreats and
Bible studies and have watched many marriage videos and read many books and I have done
pre-marriage counseling with couples in my role as a pastor and camp director, but I have never
experienced anything as comprehensive and effective as Masculinity Reclaimed!"

---

Excited for you to hear these two mens' stories, as professionals in the field God has used MR to help their own marriages and I am SO honored, humbled and grateful.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you want to see what MR is all about and get some fantastic free training, sign up for the Free Men's Masterclass coming up next month: October 11, 2021 ( delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass

Sep 7, 2021

This is the next part of Communication Secrets and I think it's an important addendum. 

 

We talk about what to do when you're disappointed with your spouse. 

 

When you want them to change. 

 

When you feel they were irresponsible.

 

I have two examples for you: 

1 - When a friend was irresponsible and God brought conviction even when He kept me from saying anything.

2 - When I was irresponsible (I know---unbelievable!) and God brought conviction even when my husband didn't say anything.

 

I hope this brings you encouragement, direction, and skills as you attempt to live God's way in your marriage.

 

Love, 

Belah

 

PS - The free Masterclass is coming up soon (for a limited time) and I encourage you to sign up ASAP so you don't miss it! delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass


PPS - I'm excited to invite you to an "Intimacy Secrets Summit" that I was honored to be a part of. A superstar cast of intimacy experts that I would encourage you to get a seat with! Coming up next week!

Aug 27, 2021

So much stress revolves around communication.

I've been there!

My husband and I have miscommunications everyday.

Today, for example, I was telling him about a sore in my mouth and he was sure I was talking about Europe. 

That is silly and allowed for laughter.

But what about when someone is lost and just hoping for the other to quickly look up directions.

Or when you're in a stressful situation and one of you is incomprehensible (to you). 

Well, I want to invite you to reframe what good communication is. 

I want to invite you to consider what really matters in communication with your spouse. 

I try to debunk some unhelpful cliches:

"Your spouse should be your best friend", or

"You have to be compatible with someone to be happy", or

"If you don't connect on common interests, you'll die a miserable, lonely, painful death.”

Alright, that last one isn't a cliche I've heard! (but maybe have felt?)

Let's get some fun back in our lives and let miscommunication be the fodder!

 

Blessings,

Belah

PS If you need immediate help in your marriage and you've seen some changes from podcasts so far, now is the time to let that inertia grow into long term transformation with training and tailored support.

So if that's what you need, get on the phone with a Clarity Advisor and they'll see if we are the right fit for your situation: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Aug 20, 2021

Two brothers were at the playground the other day. 

I was talking to their mom. This happens to be a beautiful playground with a huge fountain and amazing monkey bars, places to run, sand, swings, ride-on toys, and loads of other kids to play with. 

But guess what these two did? They fought over the same circular "stool" to stand on!

The mom and I laughed. With everything available for them to do, THAT is what they had to fight about.

Then I think about God. 

We get into squabbles with our spouses. Over...

Who told the story most correctly, who knows the quickest way to the store, what they really meant by that phrase, whether or not they're late, who squishes the toothpaste out correctly...

Oh...

Higher than the heavens are above the earth are His thoughts higher than our thoughts, are His ways higher than our ways.

God have mercy!

May we get it right...get into God's will for us. 

That starts with the fear of the Lord.

The fear of the Lord puts our lives, habits, tiny things we do, and ways of being into the perspective of eternity.

I talk about how vital it is to get into the Word in order to see things correctly.

We can have absolute faith in the Word when we pursue people who have studied this. In fact, many people who started as atheists studied it and became Christians. The discipline is called "Apologetics" and I encourage you to pursue it to bolster your faith and then get on with what God wants you to do in this world.

...And let me tell you it doesn't include squabbles about toothpaste (or other things that are at that level of small, childish thinking.)

Listen in for perspective shifts and encouragement.

 

Blessings,

 

Belah


PS - Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to have a Clarity Call with a Clarity Advisor to get help for your marriage right away!

Aug 20, 2021

I really do mean this title. 

I keep seeing miracles, but when people don't recognize God's working in their lives... it may not continue. 

It seems that sometimes people can get so fixed in a mindset of misery that when God does a miracle, they can think it was just a fluke and go back to their same ways of thinking. 

The problem with that is, when your wife does something out of the ordinary and you don't thank God for it and have a grateful heart about it, she thinks it didn't matter to you and doesn't do that, or anything more, again.

Or, if your husband finally does some movement in the direction you've desperately prayed for him to go, but you don't believe it's really real, he decides it doesn't really matter to you so he decides he won't do that (very vulnerable) thing again.

We have to recognize God's miracle, let go of the past, trust His hand in our lives and live like He has done the work. 

Ten lepers were healed. Jesus didn't call it faith that they were healed.

He called it faith when the one leper came back and praised God for the healing.

I don't think it was that they weren't grateful. I think they doubted the miracle. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe it would have happened anyway. Maybe it won't last. 

And the problem is, from the story, Jesus only said, "Your faith has made you well," to the one who praised God for the miracle. 

Sadly, I don't know if those other 9 got to keep their miracle... 

I encourage you to recognize God's hand in your life. Call it a miracle. Praise God for it and witness Him continuing to work in your life. 

 

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you need immediate help in your marriage, sign up for a Clarity Call where a Clarity Advisor (trained by me and a graduate from DYM programs themselves) will help discern if we can help and what the right next step would be! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Aug 13, 2021

Do not let the sun go down on  your anger IS a scripture. 

But for us go-getters it often feels like an argument has to get settled before any of us go to sleep.

So there we are fighting about sex at 12am and wondering why the conversation didn't make both of us feel warm and connected?

My encouragement is to feel the anger (which probably is just hurt covered over by anger) and choose to take a break. Feel the feelings with God. Let them go. Forgive her. 

My encouragement is to feel the anger (which probably is just hurt covered over by anger) and choose to take a break. Feel the feelings with God. Let them go. Forgive her. Forgive him.

And... as the scripture actually reads: 

"Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger".

And get a good night's rest. Then be wise about how to have a real and connecting conversation in the future that moves the ball forward.

Short and sweet today. But hopefully powerful for you!

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - If you'd like some free downloads check them here: delightyourmarriage.com/free 

 

PPS - We're hiring!

​​I'm looking for an awesome part time Tech person who loves Jesus and DYM -- who knows about online business-type apps, integrations, and basically the stuff I don't :) And that you love tech!

You'll be trained on our particular tools, our tech team and I currently use, but I'd like you to come with some fantastic skills to bring to the table!

​​You'll be joining an amazing team and have the opportunity to use your skills and passion to truly impact lives around the world for the Kingdom!
 
Send an email to belah@delightyourmarriage.com and we can send you more details. <3

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