Discussed in this conversation:
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Ensure that you're infusing your marriage with exciting sex:
I’ve released the first 4 parts of a new course I’m really excited about: The Seduction Course: (Christian) Hot Sex, Step A, B, C.
I didn’t feel I could give the specificity I’d like to on a public platform like a podcast or website. So I’m including VERY practical understandings and examples (language, scenarios, actions) you can use immediately in this course!
Right now you can get the course at its lowest cost (it will go up in the following week as the 5th part is released). Check out The Seduction Course now.
What is included in this show:
Shift your attitude. Col 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
Men get turned on by something they see, women get turned when they feel good about themselves. -Joyce Penner
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The HOW of making it exciting:
I’ve released the first 3 parts of a new course I’m really excited about: The Seduction Course: (Christian) Hot Sex, Step A, B, C.
I didn’t feel I could give the specificity I’d like to on a public platform like a podcast or website. So I’m including VERY practical understandings and examples (language, scenarios, actions) you can use immediately in this course!
Right now you can get the course at its lowest cost (it will go up in the following week as the 4th part is released). Check out The Seduction Course now.
What do you want your marriage to look like? Is it at the level of the connection and depth of love that you desire? If not, what does it look like? And the follow up question is what you can do to change it?
We cannot change what we do not notice. I encourage you to take stock of your intimacy which is your husband's fuel of your connection. How often are you making love and how are you making it a priority in your life? It often isn't as easy as it sounds, but I have some tips and encouragement that will help.
When you make love to him, you are loving him the way that he receives love. So, to realize your connection goals, I encourage you to make that a strategy.
If you feel far off from where you want to be in your marriage, my husband has a prayer for you at the end.
Love you and be encouraged this week!
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Be intentional about the spice of your sex life:
I’ve released the first 3 parts of a new course I’m really excited about: The Seduction Course: (Christian) Hot Sex, Step A, B, C.
I didn’t feel I could give the specificity I’d like to on a public platform like a podcast or website. So I’m including VERY practical understandings and examples (language, scenarios, actions) you can use immediately in this course!
Right now you can get the course at its lowest cost (it will go up in the following week as the 4th part is released). Check out The Seduction Course now.
Sex is Better In Marriage. If it's better, why is there so much divorce and so many unhappy marriages? Its better but it's also harder.
Here's why sex is harder in marriage:
Why sex is better in marriage:
Be intentional about the spice of your sex life:
I’ve released the first parts of a new course I’m really excited about: The Seduction Course.
I didn’t feel I could give the specificity I’d like to on a public platform like a podcast or website. So I’m including VERY practical understandings and examples you can use immediately in this course!
Right now you can get the course at its lowest cost (it will go up in the following week as the 3rd part is released). Check out The Seduction Course now.
Main Points:
The Seduction Course Part 1 is released today!! Purchase now to have the most discounted price! (It will go up next Tuesday when I release Part 2!)
I am SO excited to share this content with you. I think it will really get you to the place of implementing and doing, practically, those things that will really make you feel powerful. Because you will know that you know how to drive him wild.
The specific steps to seduce:
Why Seduction is important, helpful tips on what will help you seduce and next steps.
The Seduction Course P1 will be released next week! Purchase now to have the most discounted price! (It will go up on Tuesday!)
I am SO excited to share this content with you. I think it will really get you to the place of implementing and doing, practically, those things that will really make you feel powerful. Because you will know that you know how to drive him wild.
Main points:
-God's might and glory is shown in the uniqueness of creation. And in the tiniest of details of your body.
-The way you feel about your body affects the way you interact with your spouse and the rest of the world.
-Children are released in their bodies. Body insecurity is learned (and its unattractive).
-Our self-perception is tied to so many different things. Time of the month, what we've been eating for the last couple of weeks, what stresses are in our lives etc. And this affects the way we eat and look at ourselves.
-You can honor and listen to your body. But you don't have to feel pressure that you have to get "there" before you can seduce your husband and be released in your body.
-Practical tips on what you can do today to be more released.
Check out The Seduction Course presale here for 50% off before it goes live (very soon)!
How to enjoy sex as a woman. We as women have so much going on. So many commitments and responsibilities. Busy.
For women its a slow process to transition from life to physical intimacy. (For men, not so much). For us, its slow and it should be. Its an opening. Its a releasing. Its a being invited into her divinely orchestrated womanhood.
What does it feel like to be in touch of your body? Why does touch matter? Being in your body. Being attentive to the touch of your body will help you enjoy making love. I explain what I mean and how you can do this practically.
I give you some centering practices that will move you into a centering place where you can receive and be fully with the love making experience.
Letting yourself experience it all. What to do when your mind wanders. What if there is whole other way of experiencing sex than you and your husband have tried--and it is a more spiritual experience that you might have imagined.
Touch outside the body, but what are you feeling on the inside of your Ressa. Not your clitorous, but your inner Ressa. I'll be talking more about experiencing that pleasure on this podcast.
Homework:
Embodying your Sexuality P1 & P2, Episode 160 & Episode 161.
"Save sex for marriage". A wise piece of advice. But because I didn't learn anything about it's value, I just assumed it was nasty.
But I never learned about my Ressa. Why your Ressa needed to be reframed and renamed: Ressa = Receiving him into your Essence
(Feel free to keep the name you feel most comfortable with. However, I don't feel comfortable using the words publicly on this show, that to me either evoke negative/pornographic connotations or are medical terms that don't include all the areas and don't capture the radiance of your essence.)
We as Christian women often don't respect it or honor it as wonderful good.
A lot of negative and embarrassing things happened while learning how to grow up with a Ressa. You may have a negative view of it just because of the way you grew up.
Is it awkward to consider God coming into the room with your husband and you making love? He's not surprised.
God made it all. He made it to be filled with blood and become sensitive when its touched.
Embracing the fullness of your Ressa is foundational for you to walk in pleasure in your intimacy. For you to relax and receive him into your essence. Next week builds upon this one, so be sure to do your homework!
176-Body P5: Value Touch
When you're confident in your body you're not being prideful, you're humbly acknowledging His gift of your body.
Your beauty is not a question is a statement.
God knit you together, counted your hairs. He cares about all the incredible intracacies of your body.
It matters what you do with it. God is all about the spirit and mind and soul. But He also says love the Lord with all your strength. Your body is important to God.
Jesus talked about the body when describing a husband and wife. Sexual immorality is not ok. It matters to God how you use your body.
What you do with your body matters to Him. And the way you think about your body matters to Him. Your body valuable.
Every time you look at the mirror you're judging your body. You're seeing if you look ok or if you're pretty enough. Stop looking in the mirror. What space of your life, energy, time, desire is taken up by the desire to be the world's standard of beauty? Is that going to matter in eternity? Why are we obsessed with it now?
I think you'll enjoy the homework ;) Flaunt it girl!
Next week: 175-Body4: Honor Your Ressa
I thought my body was gross. I thought God didn't give me a good one. God changed my perspective. Now that insecurity has become fierce respect for this wonder God has given me.
Now I'm convinced that we as women are jewels. Our bodies are of the highest value. And we should not put our jewels before swine. Your body should be adored by someone who deserves it. By someone who serves you, respects you and makes you feel worth it. Your husband (though he himself is a work in progress) is the only one who fits the bill.
Tips:
Resources: Women Food and God (Though not a Christian book, amazing principles that we can apply through a godly lense can be gleened.)
Next week: 174-Body P3: Flaunt It, Don't Ask For Approval
Welcome to this brand new series all about body. Body image, food issues, body acceptance, comfort in sex... all of it affects how you make love.
But who made it? Is it yours? Are you responsible for how it looks?
My body image struggles caused me great pain throughout my life. It was my "project." It was my obsession. It was my thing that made me feel OK but also horrible. But as my eating increased, so did my body. And I hated it. I wanted to get liposuction. I prayed God would make me thin. I prayed He'd increase my metabolism. I ordered many ridiculous contraptions that were supposed to make me lose the weight. I binged. I purged.
I share about my eating disorder and what God has brought me out of. Even the times I did lose the weight, did it fix my life? Or were there still things underneath that were still broken?
You can imagine what this all meant about my sex life and connecting to my husband.
If you're anything like me, this is a journey. And in this series where I want to join with you on this struggle.
I think this is a huge barrier to a fulfilling sexual intimacy in your marriage. But where is God in all of this? What might He want you to know about your body?
Do the work to actively engage in this series to change.
Homework:
Next week we continue with Body P2: Know Your Worth, Freedom With Food
In the long view of your 100 years on earth, what is going to matter in THIS season?
I had an abrupt and unsettling realization when I had a parent teacher conference a few weeks ago. Though I believe I was discerning God's will and way for my life. I don't believe I was pursuing it in God's timing.
And that is one of the central themes around today's podcast. What is your season (mine is a quarter inch) in the grand scheme of life? And what matters most right now.
From there, what do you do with that understanding? How does it become practical and lived out?
Some topics covered:
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Check out Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife’s manual for passion and confidence in intimacy
Sexual intimacy should be a place of rest. It can even become a "haven for me".
In this interview, Juli Slattery, of Authentic Intimacy, talks about the spiritual priority of sexual intimacy in marriage and the passion involved in covenant love.
She also discusses which Sexual acts are ok? How do you know if it's a conscience thing or just a comfort thing?
We don't grow in anything unless we push past our comfort. Learn how to become great lovers. How to be able to lose control? Either a fear or a lie.
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Check out Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife's manual for passion and confidence in oral sex
When you think about the women of the Bible who comes to mind?
Ruth, the loyal daughter who served her widowed mother-in-law. Esther, who risked her life to save her people.
The hardworking Proverbs 31 wife. Mary, the teenage girl who's heart was so tender before the Lord that He chose her to be Jesus' mother.
Yes. The women in the Bible are incredible and should be aspired to.
Did you immediately think of the Song of Solomon? Probably not. Not because she doesn't take up space in the scriptures.
Actually she has more spoken words than any woman in the whole Bible. But we probably haven't heard many sermons about her. (There's plenty of reasons why... a discussion for another time).
I'm joined by intimacy expert Dr. Juli Slattery from Authentic Intimacy. And we discuss the desire and pleasure of the woman (in the Bible) of the Song of Solomon.
God wanted us to hear and understand that desire. He wanted us to see the holiness in it.
What does this mean to your marriage? How can you apply this in your marriage?
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My book---Delight Your Husband: A christian wife's manual to passion and confidence in oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed.
If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage, consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! She's currently offering this opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.
He proposed to me over fast food in a parking lot. I think it might have been drizzling.
Well he's not that man anymore. God has changed him. He has brought him in so many ways to a place that I could not have imagined were possible. Truly.
I hope this podcast inspires you. I hope it empowers you to make the hard choices for yourself to see what God might want to allow you to think about.
At the end I tell you about the amazing anniversary experience my husband gave me. And I tell you about the newly weds having the exact same experience but were much less enthused.
I've extended the discount for 1 week! 1:1 Coaching with Belah is 30% off. Click here for details!
This is Part 3 of Why we became romantic. I was a generous wife in intimacy and I felt loved in some areas, but I didn't feel loved outside of the bedroom. The romance on dates, the random gifts, the consistent compliments, the surprises were missing.
(Part 1 is more of the theory behind it and Part 2 is the beginning of my discussion with my husband that exemplifies this process.)
Ultimately, Belah's husbands feel her changes caused the marriage to change. Caused him to change.
Resources: Emotionally Healthy Relationships Course; Financial Peace University, Surrendered Wife
1:1 Coaching with Belah is 30% off until Nov 24. Click here for details!
I encourage you to first listen to Part 1 here. Today, you get to hear the gory details of how awful I was...from my husband. He is giving you all the dirt on me, for your benefit (hopefully!). There's a ton of mistakes I made that I thought was helping, but was actually driving a severe wedge between us. I was making it impossible for him to love me in the ways I was desperate for him to love me.
God has taught me a ton in my marriage. But by God's grace, He continues to teach me. I thought I had it all figured out---but I had a lot more to learn. Through The Surrendered Wife book, I learned so much and I made important changes. But here's my journey of understanding, right from my own husband.
In part 2, you'll hear what was really going on behind closed doors.
There's a ton that has changed but it was a pretty muddy road, and I wonder if you might be able to relate or can hear how to avoid my mistakes.
1:1 Coaching with Belah is 30% off until Nov 24. Click here for details!
You may have thought you chose the right man when you were dating, but suddenly things changed when you got married. He stopped trying. He stopped woo-ing you and just took you for granted. When was the last time he took you on a date? Its so tough to feel that if he just tried a little you'd be happy.
Its an awful feeling. The good news is it can change with these steps. Its hard work on our end, but it makes big differences in the marriage. I was totally surprised to find out the very things I was doing that I thought was "helping" was actually pulling the rug out from under him.
When I gave him advice, corrected, explained and taught him...he took that to mean I thought he was stupid. When I critiqued and guided for next time...he felt the rug was pulled out from under him, criticized and that there was no pleasing me. So why try?
The key principles: husbands want to be respected. Women want to be cherished. Does your craving for real intimacy in your marriage win, over your need to be in control? Lets chat this through in this episode.
delightyourmarriage.com for 30% off on coaching for this month only!
There's a lot we can do to make our love lives more lively. More than you might have thought. What about making sex into a game?
Here's a wife who made a Christian app that makes sex more fun for all of us! Amy's passion has come out of a place of understanding the significant impact that comes out of a place of marital intimacy.
This is the second half of her interview and it is so important for us all to prioritize and enjoy making love. We all can only be so creative---Why not get a little help to make it more fun and spicy?
Her desire is to make more marriages succeed. So much of the app is free, I would really encourage you to check it out: ultimateintimacy.com At the end of the interview, Amy walks us through step by step how the game works (so you can download and walk with her through how to use it).
My other encouragement I share on the podcast, is maybe you're not at a place where an app will help you spice things up. Maybe there are significant challenges that need to be worked through before you can get to that stage. I share a lot of the challenges I've had to fight through in regards to intimacy and I want to help you get to the other side. Intimacy Coaching 1:1 with me is 30% from now until Nov 24. We meet via video chat every week to dig into the deep stuff to move you to amazing intimacy.
Financial challenges aren't easy. They are in fact the #1 reason for divorce. How did her marriage survive when things got really stressful financially?
When you're stressed tensions run high in the household. Often the last thing on your mind (especially for women) is making love.
And this wife and mother believes it is what brought them through the serious challenges in their marriage.
God doesn't promise us an easy life. We will have struggles throughout this side of eternity. But, our marriage can be a place of respite. (CAN being the operative word). Listen to hear how this wife was able to work--during the stress--to keep her relationship with her man strong, so they were unified in facing those challenges.
30% off for Intimacy Coaching with Belah until Nov 24, 2017.
I get so many emails from husbands. I want to send a message to their wives...the wife I used to be. I was a wife who saw sex as
And so I avoided it and got resentful that the things I was doing wasn't appreciated. He kept asking me to learn more... and I got angrier.
Well God has changed my heart on this. I have discovered that God made my husband's member, and I am his wife. It is my privilege to be a part of intimacy with him. I am his only means of receiving this vital fulfillment righteously.
I believe this podcast will bring you closer to God. If you're anything like I was, I wish I had known this even before I got married. If I could only understand what sex meant to him. If I could only understand God's purposes for it.
I pray this would be something husbands can give to their wives (when she's ready---listen and practice these 3 episodes: Encourage Your Wife’s Sexuality (How A Husband Can Help His Wife Be More Into Sex) 156, 156/157, 157 first).
Podcasts I mention:
Praying for you and your marriage,
Belah
Now that you know the value of your sexuality (from Part 1), what does it mean to share that with your spouse?
I was a woman so insecure and unaware of the beauty of my body that it shocked me to realize the attraction my husband felt towards me. It took a while to actually come to accept it was true. But from there, to become fierce in the bedroom, that was another process. That's what we're going into today.
What does it mean to captivate your man? How do you "embody your sexuality" with your husband?
What we cover:
Interested in going further? Become a woman who has the intimacy you (and he) crave. Sign up for coaching with Belah.
After releasing Episode 56 & 57, I realized the good guys needed an episode. I may have been a bit too harsh on those episodes. So, I have this updated/revised/clarified/contextualized episode to give a bit more grace and kindness to the good guys, looking to love and be loved in sexual intimacy with their wives.