Mother's Day is almost here! (This Sunday!)
Make sure the mom in your life is getting treated really nicely! She is WONDERFUL and deserves to be celebrated!
I have a wonderful mom.
She sacrificed so much for me. I am forever in her debt.
As a mom myself... I believe sacrificing to be a good mom brings her greater joy than if she had never sacrificed at all.
Sacrifice. Duty. Responsibility.
Sounds antiquated, old-fashioned, and maybe even oppressive...?
Am I morally obligated to take care of my kids?
Did I assume the responsibility for their well-being when my husband and I enjoyed...
...ehemm...
"actions with procreative potential"...
which (happily) resulted in a child?
I would submit the answer is "yes."
I now lay down Feelings and pick up a life built upon proper values.
Hopefully, your mom did the same... otherwise, it would have been a very difficult existence for you.
The nature of a mother: assuming a role and duty to care for those souls entrusted to her.
What does this have to do with wives?
In today's society, we often hear that women should only make love if they Feel like it.
And they might say it's bad to make love when you don't naturally desire it. When you don't Feel like it.
If I used that logic in caring for my children... only when I Feel like it, they'd justly arrest me for child neglect.
I am a self-centered, selfish, self-focused, narcissist if I am led by Feelings.
Feelings are not my guide.
Jesus is.
How do I know who Jesus is, so I know what He is like, and what He wants of me?
The Bible.
Is there any other source that clarifies who and what Jesus asks of me better than the Bible?
No.
If all that is true... why is it we (ok... maybe it's just me :) struggle like this...
Feel down, follow by: laying on the couch...with a bag of Cheetos
Feel anxious, follow by: distracting my worries by scrolling through interesting video clips
Feel tired / annoyed / down / uncomfortable / frumpy / fat / unattractive / undesireable / lazy / anxious / stressed / cramped / worried / distracted / entertained / even happy..., follow by: heading straight to bed avoiding all manner of intimacy... at all costs.
At times, my mouth says: "Jesus is my King,"
but in real life: "my Feelings rule".
(These all certainly have been true, but when I repent sincerely and come back to Jesus' way, He has helped me to stop following the tempting Feelings less and less.)
We all need to live by our values from the Bible.
The Bible becomes the standard for life and there are a lot of important things about marriage, marital sacrifice, and the purpose of marital intimacy.
It would be worthwhile to look these up: Matt 19:4-6, Mark 10:6-9, Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Timothy 5:14, Romans 13:13-14, Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7, Hebrews 13:4.... and that's just the New Testament!
I assume the responsibility of taking care of my children, to fulfill the role of Mom.
I assume the responsibility of taking care of my husband, to fulfill the role of Wife.
This is not following the world's definition of happiness.
It is true happiness.
This is in God's will.
This is following Jesus.
Happy Mother's Day!
I bet you wouldn't wish you followed Feelings more and sacrificed less to follow Jesus... in your role as a Mom.
I invite us both to hold that same standard for your role as a Wife.
You have sacrificed well, happily, and joyfully...and it is worth it! :)
Bravo & thank you!
The precious souls in your care, thank you!
Love,
Belah
PS If applying this thought process toward your spouse feels
convicting, we understand and have been there, too. We're here to help...if you want help, schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Do Delight Your Marriage programs help? That's a fair question...here's another graduate quote to give you hope:
Before the program challenges were:
"low sex drive, no physical pleasure from sex, pressure to have sex often, resentful of having to have sex often, insecure body image"
After the program:
"I now look forward to sex, enjoy it physically, am able to seduce my husband, and we both feeling amazingly satisfied all the time!!"
Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/cc