I should be clear... I don't struggle with this. The stories I share about my pride in this episode are a complete rarity. Almost never happens.
I also don't struggle with lying... :D
(Just kidding :)
I need this learning as much as anyone... which is why I'm excited to share what God is teaching me!
----
"My spouse needs to change..."
"[He is / She is] doing so many bad things...so many..."
"There's nothing I can do unless [he / she] changes..."
I knew this was a disempowering mindset that I saw often.
But it wasn't until this week when God confronted me with my pride, that I learned that "self-pity" is the sin of pride.
Ouch.
But true.
(I learned this through the book by R. T. Kendall's The Power of Humility. I highly recommend it.)
Wallowing in your pain isn't God's way.
"But I don't deserve to be treated like this!"
I hear you.
Job didn't deserve his suffering either.
His suffering was profound.
Maybe yours is too.
Job started out strong. Even when others encouraged him to deny God's goodness, he stayed faithful to God and honored His faithfulness regardless.
But eventually, he succumbed to self-pity, he was severely corrected for his wallowing in self-pity.
I hope you and I will heed what God said to Job. And that we would respond the way Job did to His correction.
I encourage you to lean into His discipline.
He is a good Father who disciplines His children.
God is kind to bring us to repentance.
And don't worry... I needed this episode too. Let's draw near to God. Lay down our pride and acknowledge and seek Him as Lord and King.
Love,
Belah
PS - We'd love to help you with your marriage, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call.
PPS - If you're wondering how healthy your marriage is right now to give you insights on what needs to change and the first steps in how to with free resources... go to delightyourmarriage.com/health to take the Marital Health Assessment.
From another recent graduate:
Before the men's program:
"Struggles - Arguing, lack of trust, loss of peace frequently, little laughter, lack of joy, lack of fun. I was worried that if I didn't change, my wife might leave me after the kids leave for college.
Back 1.5 years ago, Taylor went through the men's program and witnessed God do some important work. Most important: in his heart.
But as Jesus says:
For from within, out of the heart of man,
come evil thoughts, sexual immorality,
theft, murder, adultery, coveting,
wickedness, deceit,
sensuality, envy, slander,
pride, foolishness.
All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”
If the point of Delight Your Marriage is to help men and women get their heart right, then of course the rest would follow.
My encouragement to you today, is focus on the heart. Focus on surrendering your heart to the Lord so He can free you of all of that which you hate.
He is God and there is freedom with Him.
Blessings,
Belah
PS - If you're looking for changes like this, we would love to help you on a Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
From another recent graduate:
MR Grad: “GOD is certainly using DYM [Delight Your Marriage] to impact lives.”
Before MR: “Some of the biggest struggles I was facing were that marital intimacy was all but nonexistent. That included emotional intimacy- whether I wanted to see that or not.
I have long struggled with pornography... My self-worth was in the dumps. I was always looking for affirmation from my wife and she from me. Neither of us delivered - neither could deliver enough.
After MR: “I'm taking ownership. This is my home. This is my marriage. She is my wife. Ours is a union blessed by God.
In taking my roles as husband, father, help mate more seriously, my whole family has begun to benefit.
The man's role is not to simply coexist, but to lead the marriage and family. I can make a difference in the family by leading to and with God.”
You may be on a journey to get a better marriage...
But do you know where you are right now?
The trouble is when people with a 9/10 marriage give advice to someone with a 2/10 marriage...
It doesn't make sense. AND a left turn at the WRONG TIME could lead to disaster.
That is why we developed the Marital Health Assessment, a tool you can use to determine if you're on track in your marriage.
Or if you need a left turn now or to stay straight for another 37 exits :)
I invite you to take this free Marital Health Assessment to determine where you are now so you can wisely choose your next steps!
We are indeed at war.
Now is not the time to walk idly by.
Now is not the time to pretend it's all just fine.
Now is not the time to think only about ourselves.
And your marriage matters during the tribulation.
Regardless of who endures the end times (our generation... or the next, or next, or next...) what you do or don't do in your marriage matters.
Whether or not Christianity is worthwhile to your kids can be significantly impacted by what they see in your marriage.
But what does preparing for the end times PRACTICALLY look like?
What does marriage have to do with the end times? Actually, a lot.
Well, I am hoping today's episode is entertaining and encouraging.
Thank you,
Belah
PS -
We'd love to help you delight your marriage. Your first (courageous, yet super easy -- and worth it!!) step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Men's Graduate Quote:
"Your program is so holy spirit inspired. I just continue to be amazed at the content in the teaching. I like that it was very practical and easy to understand. I love that the first and main focus was on our relationship with God before it moved into other areas or even included our wives."
As an Amish growing up, Donny has had quite the journey.
Just a couple of years ago after God rescued him from a very difficult place, his marriage actually was fairly good.
He found and listened to the podcast for quite a while and felt convicted that he needed to do the men's program.
He was content in his own marriage, he just wanted to know if he could recommend it to others.
But he was surprised to see how helpful it was to him personally, and his marriage grew even more than he thought possible. :)
Things got tricky when some people approached him with concern about the fact that I'm a lady in leadership.
Wisely so, he and his wife grappled with and prayed about it.
He distinctly felt the Lord speak to his heart about it. I would love for you to hear what he felt the Lord say.
I hope his story encourages you.
Love,
Belah
PS - If you would like to see how we can help you, take the courageous step and sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Delighted Wife Grad Quote:
Before DW: "We had a home full of animosity. Chaos. Yelling and fighting. We were not intimate."
After DW: "This program has truly changed my marriage forever! This has empowered me to forgive, put my trust in Jesus, and to bring my marriage to the place I never thought possible. I started this program broken and in utter despair. The sadness and the defeat was a physical pain. That weight has been lifted off of me. We still have things to work on, but so thankful for the tools and hope to keep on pursuing toward the marriage I dreamt of!"