If I told you how my husband proposed to me, you would be shocked that I said yes (well I didn't exactly...but that's a different story...).
But that is not the man I have today. Just this past weekend, Mr. Romance, surprised me by making dinner, getting our 2 toddlers ready, packing extra toys to keep them occupied, packing an entire picnic, bringing wine glasses and my favorite bottle of wine... which we enjoyed in the park under the stars.
Stuff like this is pretty normal and I believe The Surrendered Wife (by Laura Doyle) and Delight Your Husband (by me, Belah Rose) are the two resources that are most significant to this transformation. If you get the surrendered stuff (Surrendered Wife) and the sex stuff (Delight Your Husband), give it 6 months and you will have an incredible man...I truly believe it.
Author of Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle, is on for the second part of her interview. (I hope you'll listen to the first part to see how sad and broken her marriage was). But, its amazing to see what happened.
Here's some quotes from this show:
"I almost divorced the man of my dreams."
"All control is based in fear. [Because I'm surrendered] I really do feel like I'm a woman of faith now."
"Fear is still going to come up. Make the decision that something else is more important."
Hear more from Laura Doyle:
The Surrendered Wife (Please, please read this!)
Empowered Wife (new name of Kill All the Marriage Counselors book)
Her husband didn't want to spend time with her. He was apathetic towards her. He would rather watch television than even make love to her. Now he can't keep his eyes and hands off her :) Dancing in the kitchen, less stress and glorious compliments are just side benefits.
Laura Doyle's work began a marriage-changing transformation for me.
Laura Doyle, best selling author, speaker and coach. The book I love the most: The Surrendered Wife (though I'd prefer to call it "How to Stop Stressing and Start Enjoying" or "How to Get Your Husband to Become The Man of Your Dreams")
(If you've listened for a while you'll know I posted this interview over a year ago, but we all need a refresher, so I thought you wouldn't mind if I posted it again!)
Find out more about Laura:
This is Part 2 of my advice for men who want their wives to enjoy sex more. Though you may feel so hurt that your wife doesn't desire and/or meet your intimacy with joy the way you crave, there is a lot going on for her too.
"Hurt people hurt people". In this podcast, I hope to shed light on things both of you may be going through. And not even realize that you (men) are undermining the very intimacy you seek to encourage.
I hope to help you understand the ways a wife desires to be loved in life and how that directly relates to her experience intimately with you.
-Why she thinks you only want her for sex (and what you can do to change that)
-How you can communicate a man's need for sex in a way that will reach her (rather than repel her)
-Specific things you can do in physical intimacy that will allow her to enjoy intimacy to much greater degree, thus desiring it more
For wives, I want you to know...
My goal for your physical intimacy is that it would get to a level and place to would support your life, but NOT be the focus of it. I want you to be able to relax into the joy of amazing intimacy so it would fuel the pursuits of God's heart. There is much more than sex, it shouldn't be the focus; if you're married, it should support the focus.
(Part 1) You may want more sex. You may want her to want you more. You may want her to care more about your drive. Maybe all of the above and a whole lot more...
Well, the biggest barrier women face is insecurity. An insecure wife can't take off her clothes, can't seduce, can't enjoy physical intimacy. But isn't that her problem? Isn't that something she needs to go do, with the guidance of her husband? NO! Please stop pushing/teaching/correcting/criticizing... your wife on sexual things.
It is not helping it is hurting---your cause AND your wife. So today's episode is all about getting you dear husband, to understand 1) your wife's mind 2) her biggest barrier to love making 3) what you can do about it
Why did I have to make this episode? I hear far more from husbands than I do from wives. And it's time I gave these hurting husbands some help. Its not that they don't care about their wives and which is why they treat them this way. Not in the least. It's that they don't feel loved by their wives through sex and they don't know what to do about it. Here's some guidance that I believe will turn things around in your marriage.
This is part 1 in a 2 part series. Second part coming out next week.
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