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Delight Your Marriage | Relationship Advice, Christianity, & Sexual Intimacy

Hi, I'm Belah. Discover with me the secrets to an incredible marriage and physical intimacy in it! Join in as I interview inspiring and amazing wives and intimacy experts who share stories of their difficulties, joys, relationship advice and secrets to a lasting marriage. I ask each guest to share advice about sexual intimacy as well! Listen in to find out how long-time wives have kept the fun, peace and passion alive!
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Now displaying: January, 2018
Jan 30, 2018

How to enjoy sex as a woman. We as women have so much going on. So many commitments and responsibilities. Busy. 

For women its a slow process to transition from life to physical intimacy. (For men, not so much). For us, its slow and it should be. Its an opening. Its a releasing. Its a being invited into her divinely orchestrated womanhood.

 

What does it feel like to be in touch of your body? Why does touch matter? Being in your body. Being attentive to the touch of your body will help you enjoy making love. I explain what I mean and how you can do this practically. 

 

I give you some centering practices that will move you into a centering place where you can receive and be fully with the love making experience.

Letting yourself experience it all. What to do when your mind wanders. What if there is whole other way of experiencing sex than you and your husband have tried--and it is a more spiritual experience that you might have imagined.

Touch outside the body, but what are you feeling on the inside of your Ressa. Not your clitorous, but your inner Ressa. I'll be talking more about experiencing that pleasure on this podcast.

 

Homework:

  • What kind of touches do you want from your husband?
  • Game plan: write out exactly what you want to say.
  • Make love in a slow, intentionally receiving way.
Jan 23, 2018

Embodying your Sexuality P1 & P2, Episode 160 & Episode 161.

"Save sex for marriage". A wise piece of advice. But because I didn't learn anything about it's value, I just assumed it was nasty. 

But I never learned about my Ressa. Why your Ressa needed to be reframed and renamed:  Ressa = Receiving him into your Essence 

(Feel free to keep the name you feel most comfortable with. However, I don't feel comfortable using the words publicly on this show, that to me either evoke negative/pornographic connotations or are medical terms that don't include all the areas and don't capture the radiance of your essence.) 

We as Christian women often don't respect it or honor it as wonderful good. 

A lot of negative and embarrassing things happened while learning how to grow up with a Ressa. You may have a negative view of it just because of the way you grew up.

  • Episode 110 Luke Gilkerson how to raise healthy sexual kids.

 

Is it awkward to consider God coming into the room with your husband and you making love? He's not surprised.

God made it all. He made it to be filled with blood and become sensitive when its touched. 

Embracing the fullness of your Ressa is foundational for you to walk in pleasure in your intimacy. For you to relax and receive him into your essence. Next week builds upon this one, so be sure to do your homework! 

 

176-Body P5: Value Touch

 

Jan 16, 2018

When you're confident in your body you're not being prideful, you're humbly acknowledging His gift of your body.

Your beauty is not a question is a statement.

God knit you together, counted your hairs. He cares about all the incredible intracacies of your body. 

It matters what you do with it. God is all about the spirit and mind and soul. But He also says love the Lord with all your strength. Your body is important to God.

Jesus talked about the body when describing a husband and wife. Sexual immorality is not ok. It matters to God how you use your body.

What you do with your body matters to Him. And the way you think about your body matters to Him. Your body valuable. 

Every time you look at the mirror you're judging your body. You're seeing if you look ok or if you're pretty enough. Stop looking in the mirror. What space of your life, energy, time, desire is taken up by the desire to be the world's standard of beauty? Is that going to matter in eternity? Why are we obsessed with it now? 

I think you'll enjoy the homework ;) Flaunt it girl!

 

Next week: 175-Body4: Honor Your Ressa

Jan 9, 2018

I thought my body was gross. I thought God didn't give me a good one. God changed my perspective. Now that insecurity has become fierce respect for this wonder God has given me. 

Now I'm convinced that we as women are jewels. Our bodies are of the highest value. And we should not put our jewels before swine. Your body should be adored by someone who deserves it. By someone who serves you, respects you and makes you feel worth it. Your husband (though he himself is a work in progress) is the only one who fits the bill.

Tips:

  • Assume the attraction is there. 
  • Practice affirmations. I do this with my clients and this is one of the most effective strategies.
  • Spend time journaling rather than eating. Eating allows us to numb ourselves from the difficulties of life. We stuff ourselves with food so we don't feel. 
  • You are not being cocky by telling yourself you're gorgeous. Your body is God's work of art. He gets the credit. God made you beautiful. When you get compliments, receive it and give the glory to God in your heart. You don't have to let that puff you up in pride, you can give that to God. 
  • It is a discipline to have confidence. And it takes discipline to get there.
  • Write through the hard times, rather than stuff the hard time with food which make the enemy distract you from life and God's voice.

Resources: Women Food and God (Though not a Christian book, amazing principles that we can apply through a godly lense can be gleened.)

 

 

 Next week: 174-Body P3: Flaunt It, Don't Ask For Approval

 

Jan 2, 2018

Welcome to this brand new series all about body. Body image, food issues, body acceptance, comfort in sex... all of it affects how you make love. 

But who made it? Is it yours? Are you responsible for how it looks?

My body image struggles caused me great pain throughout my life. It was my "project." It was my obsession. It was my thing that made me feel OK but also horrible. But as my eating increased, so did my body. And I hated it. I wanted to get liposuction. I prayed God would make me thin. I prayed He'd increase my metabolism. I ordered many ridiculous contraptions that were supposed to make me lose the weight. I binged. I purged.

I share about my eating disorder and what God has brought me out of. Even the times I did lose the weight, did it fix my life? Or were there still things underneath that were still broken?

You can imagine what this all meant about my sex life and connecting to my husband.

If you're anything like me, this is a journey. And in this series where I want to join with you on this struggle. 

I think this is a huge barrier to a fulfilling sexual intimacy in your marriage. But where is God in all of this? What might He want you to know about your body? 

Do the work to actively engage in this series to change.

Homework:

  • What's your food story and your body image?
  • Where are you now?
  • Where do you want to go, what do you want to feel, what do you want sex to be like?
  • And make love to your man this week ("do before you feel")

Next week we continue with Body P2: Know Your Worth, Freedom With Food

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