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Delight Your Marriage | Relationship Advice, Christianity, & Sexual Intimacy

Hi, I'm Belah. Discover with me the secrets to an incredible marriage and physical intimacy in it! Join in as I interview inspiring and amazing wives and intimacy experts who share stories of their difficulties, joys, relationship advice and secrets to a lasting marriage. I ask each guest to share advice about sexual intimacy as well! Listen in to find out how long-time wives have kept the fun, peace and passion alive!
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Delight Your Marriage | Relationship Advice, Christianity, & Sexual Intimacy
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Apr 9, 2019

What if you're a wife that has WAY lower libido than your husband? If you feel like this is just physiologically the way you were made, I want to help. I think there's a lot more to you and the way you're set up sexually.

I, Belah Rose, "the sexpert", can easily say I have a low libido. Does that keep me and my husband from having an incredible sex life? Fierce, firey, sensual, spiritual... And I get turned on too and get excited about making love! So... I don't think your libido/"natural" sex drive has to prevent you either!

Listen in to find out the top 3 things you need to know if you have a LOW sex drive. And how to turn that around. How I did and do.

But what if HE is the one with the low sex drive? Ouch! So sorry, I know that's so hard!

There are several important questions you need to be asking. I help you to sort through what could be the real source of the issues and how to overcome them. Are you contributing to the issue or COULD be contributing to live the solution?

--

What’s a Clarity Call:

You can sign up for a FREE, 40-minute call (a $500 value) for an opportunity to get clear on the issues you deal with. If you are the right fit for the program this can be a phenomenal opportunity as I can’t invite everyone into the program. Clarity Calls are free for now but I’m not sure until when. To schedule, go to: www.dym.as.me Even if we find a program is not the right fit, you’ll get a ton of awesome value.

 

Apr 2, 2019

My husband is a very wise man. Probably the wisest I've met (and I get to live with him! :) :) :) )

 

Listeners have asked to hear from my husband and I'm glad because he has a lot of wonderful & helpful things to share! I think his message has nuggets that any and every marriage will benefit from!

 

--

If you're a husband...

I'm about to pilot a brand new program:

 

Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again!

 

I have SO many men--may be like yourself--whose wives wouldn’t dream of hearing my work or considering changing their behavior or even understanding those needs. 

 
By Gods grace, I understand men AND women and this would be the program to bridge the gap for MEN to understand their wives and motivate her to WANT sex rather than REPEL her FROM it (as unfortunately, most of them are :( ).  
 
It would be an all-male group coaching with me. This would allow men to share their situations and I would advise on the female perspective and give teachings (all this via live video chat) on how to transform their marriages and intimacy within it. 
 
I’m only accepting serious, committed, decisive and coachable applicants and this pilot would be the absolute lowest investment the program will ever be.
 
I am either going to pick the best of the applications that come in or if there are a lot (and I plan to blast this all over to gauge genuine interest) then I’ll just do first come, first serve of the best ones. 
 
 If you’d like to be considered for this opportunity sign up for a Clarity Call at www.dym.as.me and we'll dive in quickly to see if you'd be the right fit to get success out of this opportunity.
 
Check out testimonials of my work: www.delightyourmarriage.com/testimonials & also www.delightyourmarriage.com/husbands to read a tiny sampling of the outpouring of men about their sexual needs and need to be respected. 
  
I'm REALLY looking forward to helping the men who constantly reach out to me for help (3 just this week!).
Mar 30, 2019

I'm about to pilot a brand new program: Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and thrive in your marriage again!

 

It’ll be a phenomenal program! I already have had 50% of those I’ve invited into the program apply, so I’m expecting a very strong group of men joining. Yesterday, was a small sampling of speaking/teaching men directly and it was absolutely phenomenal what they’ve already received marriage/intimacy changing revelations/insights that they were COMPLETELY unaware was making her NOT WANT TO make generous and fierce love. So, I cannot wait to impact the marriages that this program will provide!

 

I have worked with many women 1:1 and in group coaching, but I have SO many men like yourself whose wives wouldn’t dream of hearing my work or considering changing their behavior or even understanding those needs. 
 
By Gods grace, I understand men AND women and this would be the program to bridge the gap for MEN to understand their wives and mmotivater her to WANT sex rather than REPEL her from it (as unfortunately, most of them are :( ).  
 
It would be an all-male group coaching with me. This would allow men to share their situations and I would advise on the female perspective and give teachings (all this via live video chat) on how to transform their marriages and intimacy within it. 
 
I’m only accepting serious, committed, decisive and coachable applicants and this pilot would be the absolute lowest investment the program will ever be.
 
I am either going to pick the best of the applications that come in or if there are a lot (and I plan to blast this all over to gauge genuine interest) then I’ll just do first come, first serve of the best ones. 
 
 If you’d like to be considered for this opportunity go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/mr
 
This is an application to fill and if prepaid for the course you have a better chance at being selected for this very small pilot group until I scale it and price dramatically increases. 
 
 
Not sure I understand the male mind? Check out: www.delightyourmarriage.com/husbands to read a tiny sampling of the outpouring of men about their sexual needs and need to be respected. 
 
Not convinced lives are changed through my work? Check out: www.delightyourmarriage.com/testimonials to read the amazing things God has done through my work.
 
 
I'm REALLY looking forward to helping the men who constantly reach out to me for help (3 just this week!). I encourage you to take advantage of this as soon as you can!
Mar 26, 2019

Productiveness IS  good, but we forget that we're not just human doers -- we're also human beings.

Take the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was working hard and being productive FOR JESUS. Mary was calmly sitting, being still and LISTENING TO JESUS. Both were Godly women. And Jesus even defended Mary for “choosing the good part” when Martha accused her of not DOING.

Consider how Jesus modeled JOY and DELIGHT --  not just productivity. He certainly “did” a lot, but he also had breakfast with his friends, ate dinner and drank wine (sometimes he was even accused of being a drunkard!) and little children ran to him. He must have been pretty enjoyable to be around if even little children want to run up to the revered Rabbi.

 

If you are ALWAYS thinking that "God wants me to be productive. I need to do this and that..." then I challenge you to sit back, listen to Him, and just take delight in His presence.

 

We can also apply this to our sex lives. What if sex was fun and filled you up? And it's not just about sex. Being FUN and PLAYFUL in the bedroom EXTENDS to how you interact with your husband daily.  

In this podcast episode, you'll discover...

  • Why sex can actually be fun!
  • Sex doesn't have to be miserable - I encourage you to reverse it even if you've endured it for years and years!  
  • It can still be passionate, playful, purposeful --- like how it was in the beginning!

 

How does fun and playful sex affect us:

  • We empathize easier with our husbands and other people too
  • We rewire our brains to see, think, and do as God wants us to
  • When we’re not constantly doing and we have margin in our lives that comes through playing

 

We serve a God that loves us. He want us to know that:

  • His love is deeper and wider and truer than we can imagine.
  • He truly wants us to enjoy our lives.
  • He created physical stimuli like laughing when we are tickled. Why? Because all the joys we feel when hugged, kissed, or touched --- it is proof of God's unfathomable deep and true love for us.

 

SCARED to START BEING PLAYFUL? I'm curious where that fear is coming from? I have Clarity Calls set up especially to get at the root of how you feel underneath the behavior.  

If you go to www.dym.as.me for a 40-Minute FREE conversation with me to understand where you are in your marriage.

If you're distraught or even if you're on the edge of divorce, by God's grace, a Clarity Call may be exactly what you need to gain hope and discern next steps FOR YOU.


 

Mar 19, 2019

Words are important. They can cause a wildfire or a passionate flame in your bedroom.

 

Outside of the bedroom:

  • We can be hurtful and careless with our words and say “Oh he’s my husband”. Does that sound familiar? But is he really JUST your husband? That is God’s son you’re dealing with.

 

  • If you want to get your words in line with God’s will, one of the first things that needs to be done is to APOLOGIZE. Just get it out of the way. It’s hard, especially if it’s not part of the culture of your marriage. But it’ll get easier the more you do it!

 

  • When words are on purpose, intentional, and aligned with what God wants your husband to hear, then it’s easy to truly become ONE FLESH. Generous lovemaking becomes more natural to both of you.

 

Now onto the SEXY STUFF:

  • What CAN you say in sex?
  • Is God okay with you saying seductive phrases to your husband?
  • Could God even WANT you both to use your words to turn each other on?
  • What is going to encourage the bond between you and your husband?
  • If he's aroused and you’re not (and vice versa!) --- how do you turn each other on?
  • If you have a higher drive -- it's not your fault--but what actions can you take?
  • What about fantasy, sexy texts, and whispering attractive things in his ears?
  • So you might say “but I feel like I'm just FAKING IT?” or “It’s not my personality”. There’s plenty you can do!

Sexy language is going to feel silly at first. Just like when you study a new language! As you practice it, you get less awkward and you’ll push through and take courage in your marriage bed!

 

Resources:

  • I want to invite you on a FREE 40-minute Clarity Call with me if these are things that you struggle with and you feel very far away from being able to feel free in your sexual intimacy. It is extremely gratifying when you have the sexual intimacy you and he crave! Go to this website to schedule a chat with me: http://www.dym.as.me/

 

  • What happens at Clarity Calls? Well, we dig deep into what the issues are and I’ll listen and take notes. We're going to talk about your dreams and desires and we would go through what would it look like to bridge the gap. I'm going to determine if you would be the right fit for my program and talk through the details and maybe invite you to be one of the few clients I take on this month.
Mar 12, 2019

A lot of women are under the impression that they need to share everything with their husbands. In fact, they say this is being “honest”.

I disagree. In EVERY marriage (yes, even VERY good ones), there are many things that are not (and should not) be shared. No one needs to share about tons of bathroom stuff---yuck, not sexy. But there are tons of other things that just wouldn’t be useful, helpful, godly, respectful, kind or many other reasons to share.

AND it depends on what level of the Marriage Health Spectrum your marriage is to determine what you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT share.

If your marriage is awful right now, you shouldn't SHARE what someone who has an awesome marriage can share. You have to be strategic with what you do and do not share. SO that it can BECOME an awesome marriage.

 

Find out...

  • Where your marriage is on the Marriage Health Spectrum
    • Considering that, does he--your husband--deserve “your heart”?
    • How can you still be the faithful, generous wife AND guard your heart?
  • HOW to respond to heartbreaking adulterous situations strategically, like affairs or addictions to pornography
    • If you don’t want to lose your marriage, HOW your react is vital!
  • WHAT we can learn from Esther, the woman who changed the heart of the King!
    • Can you believe sex was involved?
  • How to transform zero-affection marriages and get to a place where you're doing God's will in this life
  • How to respond to your husband when he hurts you…
    • Hurt people HURT PEOPLE
  • Understand how your husband is motivated, how he is designed so you can work with that and help him become the man, God wants him to be.
    • And the man that supports you, loves you, allows you to be fulfilled and do God's work

 

Resources:

  • Jump on a free 40-minute Clarity Call with me. To schedule, go to: www.dym.as.me
  • IF I think I can help you, then I'll share with you what the 90-Day Delighted Wife Program looks like!
Feb 27, 2019

As a mother, you would do ANYTHING for your children.

What does that have to do with making love to their father? Well, A LOT. In fact, their eternity is at stake. Really.

  • Your marriage teaches your kids to treat others, adults and themselves.
  • Your marriage teaches them what a healthy relationship/marriage looks like and that they want one.
  • Your marriage shows them that a relationship with Jesus is fun and worth picking the right spouse and waiting for it!
  • Your marriage shows them what character means.
  • Your sex life is foundational to all of this...
    • Your husband can be an incredible dad
    • He can be focused on his family not the temptations of the world

Other things covered:

  • How sex satiety and desire for sex occurs in opposite ways for women and men
  • Why your children need to be well-liked by adults (and that's your job) 

    World-renowned psychologist mentioned: Jordan B. Peterson

  • When you're a whole woman, totally emotionally held and loved in your marriage you have a far greater capacity to be a present, teaching, loving but wise mother (rather than a resentful, haggard and push-over stressed-out mother)

 

 

Excited for you to dive deep into how to transform your marriage!

 

 

Feb 20, 2019

What does money have to do with your marriage? Finances are often touted as the biggest reason for divorce... but get this: when you have an awesome sex life studies estimate that it's equivalent to having an additional $100k per year! So... NO financial issues...

But there's more, the BIGGEST financial DISASTER that can ever befall someone is divorce. SO an awesome marriage and sex life can either pay big $$$ or cost you a ton of money!

 

With all that said, how well are you prioritizing life so that your marriage is protected and your finances support it? WISELY.

 

The Bible is very specific: wisdom is more valuable than silver and gold... "nothing your heart desires can compare with her". So, how high are you prioritizing wisdom to ensure you have an awesome marriage?

The cool thing is that Solomon first asked for wisdom and then God also gave him riches! So if you invest your finances into wisdom the rewards may also be material wealth!

I talk about the way to prioritize your life that is accorded with the Bible and how your money should reflect those priorities.

Right now I'm doing FREE Clarity Calls (I am not sure how long I'll be able to do these as I have limited space) but on these we go 40 min to uncover the bandaid to discover what is underneath the surface issues of your marriage. If I feel like you're the right fit and I can help you I may invite you to be part of my program: The Delighted Wife: Reclaim Your Sexuality, Live In Your Womanly Wisdom and Witness Him Transform Into Who You've Always Wanted. www.dym.as.me

Find out what is preventing you from having the marriage of your dreams? Sign up for a FREE Clarity Call quickly as my schedulle fills very quicly. www.dym.as.me

Looking forward to working with you one-on-one soon!

Feb 14, 2019

I get so many emails from husbands. I want to send a message to their wives...the wife I used to be. I was a wife who saw sex as

  • Dirty
  • Wrong
  • Ungodly
  • Scary
  • He was sinning for wanting it
  • Too much work
  • I didn't like it / it hurt / I didn't know what to do
  • I don't have time
  • I don't have energy
  • What's in it for me?
  • He's way too interested in sex

And so I avoided it and got resentful that the things I was doing wasn't appreciated. He kept asking me to learn more... and I got angrier.

Well God has changed my heart on this. I have discovered that God made my husband's member, and I am his wife. It is my privilege to be a part of intimacy with him. I am his only means of receiving this vital fulfillment righteously.

I believe this podcast will bring you closer to God. If you're anything like I was, I wish I had known this even before I got married. If I could only understand what sex meant to him. If I could only understand God's purposes for it.

I pray this would be something husbands can give to their wives (when she's ready---listen and practice these 3 episodes: Encourage Your Wife’s Sexuality (How A Husband Can Help His Wife Be More Into Sex) 156156/157157 first).

 

Podcasts I mention:

Praying for you and your marriage,

Belah

Feb 6, 2019

Are you having the WRONG type of sex?

  • Why your wife doesn't LOVE intimacy
  • Why sex feels carnal
  • Why sex feels like it's just for HIM
  • Why sex isn't fulfilling (EVEN if you orgasm)
  • I argue that there is a very legitimate reason... You guys haven't made feminine sex....ever
    • Have you ever even been exposed to what feminine sex is?
    • Let me give you a description and then the tools on how to get started!

 

  • Resources referenced: 
    • Miss Representation documentary
      • If you want to know more about our sexualized culture and how men have defined those you can check this own
      • My very serious warning is there's a ton of very negative visuals--sexually-explicit music videos, movies with very provocative clothing... but they have really educational good content
      • What I would suggest is turning it on your phone and then turning your phone over so you can hear the content without being exposed to the crude and sinful visuals...or just trust that somehow I gleaned what would be helpful for you!
    • A great TED talk which explains how our movies are lacking female influence, thus the feminine values and sexual desires: The Data Behind Hollywood's Sexism

 

  • FREE (Potentially Life-Changing) Opportunity
    • I am doing a limited amount of FREE Clarity Calls to help wives go deep and truly understand and get clear on what is prohibiting them from getting to the intimacy and marriage God wants for them.
    • The catch? IF I think I can help you (and I don't think I can help every woman I speak with) I may invite you to be one of the few women I coach this month.
    • But if not, you'll definitely get a ton of value from the call, so get on my calendar soon -- right I believe my next Clarity Call is available in 3 weeks from now... so get on the calendar as soon as you can so your marriage can blossom as God wants it to!! www.dym.as.me
Jan 29, 2019

So... my husband listens to every podcast before I post them. He often gives me notes on what I need to take out or change. I have been podcasting since Feb 2015 (!!) and by God's grace have been awarded one of the Top 30 Relationship podcasts on the web!!

My husband ended up listening and having an entire page FULL of notes.

POSITIVE notes! (One negative note--not that it was wrong but that it might be a bit too explicit. I countered "I just don't want wives to be confused with what I'm really talking about". He said well, it's ABSOLUTELY true..." so, I left it it in!)

In my almost 200 episodes (!!) my husbands said this is one of the best--maybe THE BEST. 

 

So! I encourage you to listen with an open heart and get ready for some (maybe uncomfortable) truth bombs!

 

Here is the site I mention where I have collated a sampling of SOME of the emails I get from husbands WISHING (and some even are crying) because they want so badly for their wives to work with me! Seriously...read it... delightyourmarriage.com/husbands

 

AND if you want to jump in and schedule a FREE Clarity Call where we unpack what's going on in your marriage, in your intimacy, the baggage and start to shed light on how to move it in the right direction, I am offering FREE 40+ min Clarity Calls. You can sign up here: www.dym.as.me

I don't know how long I'll be able to do these for free as it's a giant time commitment--but I love being able to help women. And if I think I can help, you're ready, committed and coachable and that I have the specialization to help your SPECIFIC situation I may invite you to be one of the few clients I take on this month. (I truly don't take on or even invite everyone who wants to work with me). But either way, you get a ton of clarity and direction towards next steps! So, sign up as soon as you can for a FREE Clarity Call with me, Belah!  www.dym.as.me

Jan 17, 2019

How could suffering ever be a gift? Why would focusing on suffering be a wise thing?

A lot of times the women I coach don't take the time to look at the pain and suffering they're experiencing.

But when they do that, they are distracting themselves away from its lessons--the wisdom God wants to teach us through it. And even through our AWARENESS of it.

On this episode, I talk about the 13 Gifts of Sufferings and I talk specifically about some of my own sufferings that have given me great gifts and it was because I was aware of them in the moments that God used it profoundly in my life.

 

Jump on a call with me personally to unearth what you're going through and use the suffering to provoke action! Check to see if I have some time on my calendar at www.dym.as.me It's a 40min call for free with me directly!

---

Testimonial: of a husband of 20+ years:

I just wanted to say a few things, like...Thank you!

Thank you for the time you spent with her, and for your generosity, it is much appreciated. I don't know what the two of you discussed, I haven't asked and she hasn't told. But I haven't seen such a fast change in [her] in, well....ever.

It's like she is a different woman. Actually, she is behaving more like the woman I thought I married or wish I had married... The changes I have seen in her are profound...

Again, I don't know what you coached her to do, and I don't know if she is doing it all or only doing half. But I do see a changed woman in my life. So again I say "Thank You!"

 

Check to see if I have some time on my calendar at www.dym.as.me I'd love to speak with you directly for free! 

Jan 10, 2019

Can things really change? "It's been 5, 10, 25 years, how could this ever be different?"

Suffering in marriage makes your whole life suffer---kids, job, ministry, peace, walking in the fruits of the spirit, sexual fulfillment, chastity in thoughts, satisfaction in marriage, covetous thoughts of other marriages, sin in many places, not starting the ministries God has called you to and would thus not touch the many people God wants you too!!

 

It's 2019, packed in this message is lots of hope, and practical steps to make changes in you that will greatly impact your marriage!

 

Here is a testimonial I just received by a wife who has been married 10+ years:

"Before working with Belah, my marriage had been to the brink of divorce and separation. My husband and I had continual anger and resentment toward one another. I knew the importance of sex to a man, and felt pressure to be 'enough'. But I felt like I never was. 
 
I reached out to Belah, for her to help me be who he needed. Belah listened to my heart, and saw the missing piece- boundaries. Turns out, he needed ME all along. 
 
Through Belah's coaching, she helped me with:  Healthy boundaries. Loving and respecting myself. Realizing, and honoring what "I" enjoy and desire about sex and intimacy. She gave me wisdom and words to say. Teaching me what a healthy relationship looks like in all areas. 
 
The amazing benefits I am enjoying now: LOVE; true love like never before. My husband and I look forward to being around each other, and have such an appreciation and respect for one another.  I am cherished and honored, he is respected and lifted up as my man. I am more "me" than ever before, and loving exactly who I am and am becoming.
 
Through working with Belah, my marriage is saved and thriving, and I am forever changed and grateful."
 
To God be all the glory.
 
I want to help you get clarity on what is really going on in your marriage and I have limited space to talk with some women one on one to uncover what is really going on in their marriages for transformation! If you're serious about wanting this difference in your marriage, sign up at www.dym.as.me as soon as you can, as space will fill up quickly!
 
www.dym.as.me
 
 
 
Love,
Belah
Jan 1, 2019

WHAT SHOULD YOUR LIFE BE ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING OF 2019?

I used to try to cram all of my goals into the beginning of the year. And I would scramble for a few weeks potentially months—at best and then drop all of them by April.

 

I’ve learned something very valuable that I wanted to share today. I want to talk to you about exactly how I set my priorities throughout every year. It frees me up to focus, relax and listen to God’s voice.

 

This year I’m really excited and there’s a lot of really good things! And I want that for you as well. If you want to move your marriage to a place of peace and passion and joy and purpose, I would love to jump on a FREE breakthrough call where you can discover solutions immediately.

 

Sign up here: https://dym.as.me/ God bless you in 2019!

 

(If you’re not in my FREE private Facebook group where we discuss intimacy and marriage and purpose in life and I walk with God join here!… Wives only! :-) ) www.facebook.com/groups/delightym/

Dec 18, 2018

You might think your marriage is too far gone. There is too much strife, emotional and mental abuse, painful memories, WAY too much baggage to ever recover. 

I encourage you to review this entire series and take a journey with me on this episode. Maybe we've been looking at this whole marriage thing all wrong. And we've been looking at what it means to be man and woman wrong too?

What is the masculine nature? What is the feminine nature? Can a man have both, can a woman have both? 

Is this a sacrilegious framework? Well, I think there is a ton of biblical precedence for thinking of men and women as possessing both masculine and feminine natures and both are good, should be respected and honored. I'm going to share that here. 

I want to talk about how this shows up in my own marriage specifically and how it can radically change yours!

--

Jump on a 40min clarity call with me so we can sort this stuff out. What is going on in your marriage and how can we get to the bottom of it to truly, deeply transform the lives of you, your spouse, your children and what God wants of you in this world! Delightyourmarriage.com/call

Dec 11, 2018

1 in 4 women this year will be sexually abused. You may never know who... your sister, best friend, daughter, mother, wife...

You may have been the victim. I'm so sorry for your pain and what you have been through. You are not alone and you do not need to feel shame any longer. 

Today's podcast is to help all women process the pain of abuse. I think it affects all of us whether we ourselves have experienced it or not, we live in a culture where that is the norm...

  • When was the last news show you were able to get through without hearing at least one incident of violence against a woman?
  • 1 in 5 searches on the internet are for pornography and 90% of pornography is violent towards women.
  • Most women who have been abused are not believed even if they have the courage to speak out--so most stay silent.

 

Here's what I cover:

  • Why are women abused? 
  • Why the shaming question she is always asking herself: "why didn't I know better?" or "she was asking for it" isn't her fault based on her God-given nature
  • My experiences with sexual abuse
  • Why I think it's vital that we continue to understand women's experiences and give them a voice and let them know we hear them and believe them 
  • Why we all need to be speaking about it and not expect only the victims to

 

How does it affect your marriages...

  • What if you have sex without wanting it in your marriage? Why that makes you feel abused even though it might not actually abused

 

  • It affects sex, her feelings of safety and I have some specific guidance for that (get my specific guide referenced on the show! Send me a message to get the Connection Session Guide here: belah@delightyourmarriage.com)

 

 

Dec 4, 2018

Here's what is covered in today's episode

  • There are a ton of "submit" verses in the Bible. 
    • They were used to abuse me in my first marriage.
    • I think these also have made men feel that they had the right to abuse & justify their actions with the misuse of these scriptures.
  • But what people don't realize is they are reading the Bible (and even translations of the Bible) through a patriarchial lense.
    • Don't believe me?
    • What does "help-meet" mean?
      • This word which Eve is supposed to be to Adam.
      • Well, it's not the supporting, secondary, servant role you may have always thought.
      • The original word in Hebrew is "ezer kenegedo". Ezer is used 21x in the Old Testament
        • When speaking of Eve 2x in Genesis, it's translated as "help" 
        • Three times it is used to describe a powerful nation that comes to save the nation of Israel from their enemies
        • The other 16x it's used to describe God as a military warrior, the powerful savior, giving  desperate salvation from foes
        • Is that how you see women?
        • Is that how you see yourself?
  • What if more verses are viewed through this patriarchial lense and we just aren't aware?
  • What scriptural references do we KNOW for sure speak of female leadership even in the New Testament (sprinkled among the books including "wives submit to husbands" verses are found):
    • Woman apostle
    • Paul honoring the 10 out of 28 people who have been colaborers
    • Woman deacons
  • As a feminist myself, this material breaths life to my soul

 

  • BUT, what if there IS something to this "submitting" thing in the 21st century, Christian marriages with powerful, feminist women...?
  • What if there's an empowering message for both men and women when done "right"?
  • This is a morsel of a much larger conversation, but God-willing it will leave all of us with a bit more of a softened heart to where God may be leading us.

This isn't easy territory, but I pray that it is an eye-opening episode for every listener. 

 

--

It was my husband's birthday this week and I'm asking every listener to take 5 minutes to review the show!

If you're not sure how, here's a link for delightyourmarriage.com/itunes

Nov 27, 2018

This one honestly wasn’t that easy to think through or record. 

Here’s what I cover:

  • how I hold my opinions about women in the church and I think we all should
  • how women showed up in the Bible
  • I think Christian men should be on the forefront of the movement to end sexual abuse against women (Jesus would have been)
  • women in ministry leadership
  • the things I’m still processing around this
  • your sexual abuse story should be believed, heard, processed, given space
  • and the same goes for church abuse (of any kind)
  • the body of Christ needs women in leadership because they are lacking without us
Nov 20, 2018

 When I work with women, I think the biggest problem is they don’t have boundaries.  And for them to slowly strategically come out of abusive relationships and cause their marriage to thrive instead of the abusive, they have to have boundaries. But it might not look the way you think it will look.

 

I grew up without boundaries myself. And So I never learned that I was responsible for me: my feelings, my thoughts, my choices, my property, my own things, my privacy... So naturally when I got married, I didn’t think I owned these things either.  And I didn’t think my husband did either.  Especially hearing the “two will become one flesh”, to me that meant that I owned him and he owns me. So  we had to be the same.

However that doesn’t work. 

How do you create boundaries in your marriage? How do you make sure those boundaries are respected?

And should we always be “honest” with our husbands? I don’t think so necessarily. 

 

I look forward to our conversation!

DYM is sponsored by my new business Couragess: Christian Women’s Mastermind group. Would love for you to check out my new site and get my free resource: 3 Habits to Grow Your Confidence immediately! www.Couragess.com

Nov 15, 2018

(So sorry, my computer broke so I wasn't able to edit and this is late, but I think the content is all there!)

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I was abused and I was completely unaware at the time. Because he was spiritually gifted I trusted him. But he wasn’t exhibiting the fruits of the spirit. 

If you’re being abused, it’s so hard to see what’s really going on in your marriage because something that’s inherent in abuse is blinders. Today, I talk about my own experience with abuse in my first marriage, and what it took to get the blinders off for me. 

And then not only removing your blinders, but then what is your next step after becoming clear on what’s really going on in your marriage. And then to make wise action towards what I believe can completely transform him. 

This is the beginning of a series of DYM shows on abuse. There’s many different levels, categories and types of abuse towards women in many aspects of life. I want to help a woman who is currently in an abusive situation to think through the really difficult areas to walk the hard strategic road to recovery that I believe is possible.

Please note: I am not a licensed therapist or social worker and I cannot provide that “professional” guidance. But this is what I have learned through my story and the suffering I went through and what I have helped some of my coaching clients out of. 

Regardless of my credentials, we need to be helping women in this extremely common and devastating arena. 


The resource I referenced about getting support around domestic violence and abuse is www.nomore.org 

Nov 15, 2018

Not discussed… but it’s common to be attracted to someone that’s not your spouse.

What do you do about it?

First, figure out where you are in your level of attraction and then decide action steps:

-1-3 (when you see them/talk to them you feel a chemistry)
talk to God, get busy, be an enthusiastic lover with your husband, redirect your thoughts, read the Word, work with your hands

 

-4-7 (find your mind wandering to this person consistently) confide in a mature friend of the same sex–tell them what’s going on and be very honest, avoid spending time with this person, journal about their qualities and affirm that your husbands qualities are better because x, y & z, speak affirmations in faith, draw close to your husband

 

-8-10 (if you’re considering an affair, divorce or in that spot already) seek counsel of a therapist or counselor, use all sexual inspiration and direct it towards your spouse, be as enthusiastic in the bedroom as you’d be with this new person, pray fervently, be very intentional about falling in love with your husband again, write pros and cons list of this decision and include EVERYONE who would be positively and negatively affected in short term and long term—be honest with what you’re dealing with, pretend you’re in the future looking back on your life and determine whether you’d make that same choice if you could do it all over again

 

Remember, what you imagine you see now…it’s all a fantasy. You are with the right person. And God will give you the grace to see that if you trust in him.

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UPDATE: I have had to postpone this virtual class referenced on the podcast. Feel free to sign up here to hear more about when the class is ready to be open.

 

To men:

I have men that reach out to me a lot of direction and support because they wish their wives would be interested in my material. My heart goes out to them and I’d like to give them individual and specific guidance, but I don’t feel comfortable working with men one on one. So, I am developing a Delight Your Wife virtual classroom just for men. This will be a weekly class where I will be live with you discussing a particular topic. You can send me your questions or add to the discussion during the call. These will be recorded and ready for you any time you’d like them in the future as well.

If you sign up in November 2018, you’ll have the lowest subscription fee as the content is still being developed and the virtual classes will just be getting started. Sign up for Delight Your Wife here!

Oct 12, 2018

Excited we're back together after far too long! We have got some fantastic episodes coming your way in this new season of DYM!

 

  • What was the last sex scandal you heard about?
  • What was the last Christian sex scandal?
    • It probably wasn't too long ago. It's really sad. And it happens so much, far too much.
    • Why is this happening? What can we do about this? 
  • On today's show, I talk about why this is so common. I describe the problem and then what you can do in your own marriage. What you can do in your own sphere of influence to guard yourself and others.
  • Why I have told my husband if he sins--goes outside the bounds of our marriage--he will be forgiven. That doesn't mean it isn't going to hurt me, and the marriage and plenty of others, but anything less can destabilize us in the long-run.

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  • You might know me as the author, podcaster and intimacy coach, but I've also helped many women over the years get their goals: writing their books, transforming their marriages, getting a job, starting or leveling-up their business (brick-and-mortar and online). I’ve worked in entrepreneurship, non-profit and for-profit (with Fortune 50 companies).
  • I am hosting a "Goal-set in God's will" webinar Sunday, October 14, 2018, at 8 pm EST and Tuesday, October 16, 12 pm EST.
    • Discover the 3 questions you need to ask AND goal-set with me on this webinar! 
    • You're someone who sets big, hairy, audacious goals, but could they need a bit of tweaking?
    • Let's do something really important and have fun doing it! Sign up for this FREE, live webinar with me!
Jul 3, 2018

Hi all, 

 

DYM is taking a break for the summer but will be back on late August, early September. 

 

Blessings, 

Belah

May 8, 2018

Questions Discussed:

  • Is it helpful to fantasize about others?
  • How to get turned on
  • How to have an orgasm
  • Female erections
  • How to rekindle your attraction
  • How to get turned on even if you don't "like" him right now
  • How you can be turned on by him 
    • What he can do
    • What you can do

 

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I didn’t feel I could give the specificity I’d like to on a public platform like a podcast or website. So, I’m including VERY practical understandings and examples (language, scenarios, actions) you can use immediately in this course! And the biblical foundations as to why you should be able to enjoy!

Check out The Seduction Course: (Christian) Hot Sex, Step A, B, C.

  • The 3 Components of Seduction
  • Freedom in Language & Actions (Why & HOW!)
  • Teasing & Variety for Hot Sex (Specifically)
  • Three Things to Steer Clear of At all Costs
  • All Steamy AND Sacred
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