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Delight Your Marriage | Relationship Advice, Christianity, & Sexual Intimacy

Hi, I'm Belah. Discover with me the secrets to an incredible marriage and physical intimacy in it! Join in as I interview inspiring and amazing wives and intimacy experts who share stories of their difficulties, joys, relationship advice and secrets to a lasting marriage. I ask each guest to share advice about sexual intimacy as well! Listen in to find out how long-time wives have kept the fun, peace and passion alive!
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Sep 12, 2019

How do you become MORE attractive to your wife? 

 

What exactly do I mean when I say "attraction"? 

 

Well, it's kind of like having a pull towards yourself. Whatever it is that you're doing, it's going to pull her and cause her to desire you. When you're attractive to her, she'll also have a physical desire towards you.

 

What can you do as a spouse to cause her to be interested again? To be FULLY in the marriage again?

 

My theory? Attraction works outside of marriage like this:

 You are a whole human being with your own passions and desires and she starts being drawn to your power and confidence. Slowly, through time, you BOTH start to fall in love. 

 

It's simple:

Chemistry (natural attraction) + spending time with each other = being attracted to someone

 

We'll be attracted to different types of people our whole lives. It's up to us as married people to not spend time with others. 

 

So how do you become the whole man that you want to be?

  • By desperately seeking her love?
  • By wishing to spend more time with her?

 

This is the kind of work that I do with the men that I work with in The Masculinity Reclaimed program. If you want to get tailored advice and deep insight into your own marriage, you can do so by scheduling a call at www.dym.as.me.

 

 

Sep 3, 2019

 

Over the years listeners have asked for my book Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife’s manual to passion, confidence, and oral sex, to be available on paperback. It is now available!

 

And if you get the book, read, and review on Amazon, you can have access to a $97 Masterclass for free!

 

The Masterclass will be September 15, 2019! When you do those three things go ahead and email faith@delightyourmarriage.com And you’ll be on the list! Thank you so so much!

Sep 3, 2019

Does sex feel like a duty? 

  •  When he asks to make love, I believe that he's actually doing a really brave thing. He could be afraid of rejection and is actually insecure about it. 
  • What if you have the opportunity to bring out your husband's generosity by being compassionate about his sexuality?

As a side: Dear husbands, If you want your wife to work with me, I encourage you to take the first step in transforming your marriage. By doing this, she'll be receptive to transforming herself as well. 

Wives, I want you to know that if your opinion of sex is that it's a chore or a duty, it’s probably hurting your spouse's feelings. AND sex has to start with having an open heart and a good perspective. Otherwise it doesn’t feel like making love, it feels like you value it as much as washing the dishes.

What if you can go to a place of:

  • Joy, fun and excitement
  • To the point that you physically crave sex

I want you to get there. Listen in for encouragement and new perspectives and tools to make love rather than do your duty.

 If you want to work with me to have the heart and a body (!) that craves sex, go to www.dym.as.me . You'll have 40 minutes of my undivided attention for FREE (a $500 value) so we can talk about your marriage. 

Aug 27, 2019
First and foremost, I'm so glad you're planning for sex. Many people let this HIGH priority slip away from their marriage. And they wonder why their marriage turns into a disaster.
 
I am GRATEFUL if you are one who puts it on your calendar--it means you DO prioritize it!
 
So, I'm now encouraging you to go the next step and make it sexy. So often I hear from husbands that they make love the exact same way every single time they make love. And "it's even on the calendar!"
 
Well, 1st- the good news is you're making love (!!) and 2nd- ladies, we can plan sex (just not let him in on it!) ;) Listen in for inspiring ideas on how and why to spice things up and how you can plan sex without making him feel like a To Do List item! Aka...plan it sexily!
 

How EXACTLY do other people even plan for sex? Planning for sex can look different for many people:

  • You can plan for sex in other physical aspects

(If you're too full from dinner, you might be too sleepy for sex!)

 

  • You can plan for sex emotionally 

(are you emotionally prepared to plan sex?)

 

But planning for sex with a "grin and bear it" mindset isn't good. It would be awesome if you planned sex with a heart filled with joy and excitement. So how do you plan sex with THAT kind of mindset?

 

Well, here's a story.

 

My husband surprised me with something special on our anniversary: a sunset cruise. 

 

He made sure that the house was clean, the kids had a babysitter, he had flowers everywhere. Well he got the idea from SOMEONE ELSE. Was I mad that he got the idea from someone else? Of course not.

 

That's the same with you planning sex. Don't feel like you're not being truthful or being a phony when you plan sex. The important thing is the experience you'll both be having, not HOW you got there. 

 

How open should you be to your husband when it comes to planning sex? It depends on where you are in your marriage, emotionally speaking. 

 

He craves you more when you feel good about having sex. But making love is also about you; your own joy and fulfillment. 

 

Aug 19, 2019
  • What does it mean and WHY would you actually do it?
  • What if it’s COMPLETELY outside of your personality?
  • What to actually do? (Steamy examples!)

---

Before we dive in…

I run a men's course called Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again.

 

It's a program which helps you understand how to be an amazing husband so your wife wants to do this kind of stuff. It dramatically transforms  marriages. 

 

I work with men in this program and interview their wives who started out rating their intimacy as a 3 out of 10 and then they move to a 7 out of 10 or from a 5 out of 10 to a 9 out of 10! 

---

 

ALL-DAY seduction is: 

  • not normal for me
  • I don't wake up thinking I want to be someone who likes playful touching throughout the day

I thought it was sinful. “Why think about sex the whole day???” was my question.

Well, now I’ve changed my tune. Here’s why…

 

The reason I do this work:

  • I love families
  • I love what children have when it's a safe, loving family
  • The desire for intercourse isn't the motivation. It's the answer to "how do we make the world safer"? 
  • We make better children who have parents who love each other so well that they're able to live a trauma-free life

 

God wants children to be raised up in the right, safe, kind environment. And sex is vital to that because that's how your husband receives love. 

 

Why do great men of God fall to sexual sin? The sexual sin is great...

  • 35% of internet downloads is pornography
  • “Sex” is the #1 search term
  • Pornography increases marital infidelity rate by more than 300%
  • Adultery destroys your soul
  • God made him with a strong desire
    • And God gave him that desire; the average man has about 11 erections a day!

 

So where do we go from here? I’m not saying you’re responsible for his fidelity. But I think you have an opportunity to support him in this really sinful world. 

 

Have a system of seduction throughout the day:

  • Bring up intimacy throughout the day!
  • Touch him! 
  • Give him a kiss through his clothes --- do it any time of the day!
  • Always change in front of him
  • Tell him "I can't wait to do more"

Resources:

  • Late September, I have a women's course called The Delighted Wife: Reclaim Your Sexuality Live In Your Womanly Wisdom  And Witness Him Cherish You

 

  • If you want to find out if this is the right step for you, go to www.dym.as.me so we can speak 1:1 to discuss your situation. No matter what it’s a $500 value but free to podcast listeners and you’ll get amazing free value and clarity so sign up as soon as you can!
Aug 19, 2019

Good Morning---

I wanted to say a prayer for you. And let you know that whatever situation you're facing He is with you. He is right there beside you. 

He says:

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30 (NIV)

 

God is with you in this situation. Jesus loves you and wants to take your burdens. Love you and praying for you. 

 

Love, 

Belah

Aug 15, 2019

Do you wish YOU were into sex more?

 

A lot of things are not mentioned in the Bible:

  • Electricity
  • Vehicles
  • Importance of exercise
  • Internet

So much of our daily life is not spoken about in the Bible! And yet we have no problem doing it, every day. In fact, we’d say it was good, though not mentioned in the Bible. 

 

So, why don’t we have the same view of sex? 

 

Art isn’t mentioned in the Bible but some like painting, some like sculpture, others like charcoal. As with art, if your spouse would like more variety, that's okay! If your spouse would like more frequent intimacy, that’s okay!

 

God can help you with all of this. He can help you physically crave sex. He can help you want to meet your husband’s particular desire for that particular style of “art”. God cares about being a part of your life --- and your sex life! In a marriage, a man and a woman are free to want to make love with one another. 

 

Resources:

If you're interested about the women's program to be truly free in the areas of VARIETY, CRAVING SEX and grow in your knowledge of all the HOW-TO’s this coming September, you can go to www.dym.as.me to schedule a call to see if it's a good fit for you!


Jul 20, 2019

This is our (my husband and I) final conversation about being easygoing, playful and fun together. 

It's a bit of insight into our relationship and we believe it'll give you some inspiration into where your marriage can go. 

 

I go through the final keys to making your marriage peaceful and walking through life in a state of calm, rather than rushing in a state of stress. 

A couple of things you'd be interested to hear...

  • how (and why) my husband responds when he's watching a game (live) and he sees I'm upset. From him.
  • why receiving an apology graciously is just as important as making one.
  • when you're more vulnerable, the spouse will be too!
  • someone called me the "calmest person I've ever met". I was grateful (and shocked), but this conversation may give a bit of insight into why.

 

---

 

If you'd like to get my newly released on paperback Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex, go here!

If you purchase and then review on Amazon before Sept 1, 2019, you'll receive free access to a $97 Masterclass!

Jul 12, 2019

My darling husband and I continue our chat about becoming easygoing and why it's important to develop this skill. And how it can impact even their relationship with Jesus. We have some playful convo but also some serious and important things to say. My husband" derails" my 15-point plan ;) with a very insightful and emotional commentary that you won't want to miss! 

This is Part 2 of 3.

 

If you'd like to revolutionize your marriage and your intimacy I want to invite you onto a Clarity Call. This is an opportunity for you to speak directly with me Belah Rose and uncover what is blocking you from the playful, peaceful and purposeful marriage you crave. Sign up now as I have limited availability: www.dym.as.me

Jun 25, 2019

testing..........

Jun 25, 2019

I think this has been something I've wondered and I know the wives I've worked with have thought their husbands were.

Maybe you're a husband and you're concerned that you might be too? Maybe you're a wife and think your husband is.

I mean there's a lot less scriptures about sex in the bible than there are about other things right? 

 

Well...Have you heard all the scriptures about golf? And yet, people spend a lot of time golfing. Or playing football. Or doing make up or hair or clothes. Or horsebackriding... And yet, we spend a lot of time and energy on our specific hobbies.

 

Yet the Bible does have A LOT to say about sex. The wrong type of sex and how to fill that desire. I want to walk you through scriptures and my own insights over the years, that I hope you God would give you a lot of freedom through this podcast and you wouldn't feel the concern but you would align your heart with the way God views and wants you to view sex with your spouse. 

 

I'd LOVE to have you on my LIVE webinar this coming Sunday evening, June 2, 2019. Sign up here! http://delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks

Jun 17, 2019

"I can't go on like this"

"I don't think we can make this work" 

"I'm at the end of my rope" (what I hear the MOST)

I hate these phrases. They're not literal, and they mean this person is in severe pain. I am sad about that. I am sad that you're in such heartache. I'm sorry that you feel so alone, frustrated, discouraged and desperate. 

But I want you to have hope. I want you to have FAITH for your marriage. 

Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

 

If you've been fighting with your spouse... there's stuff you can do. God hates divorce not because He's waiting for you to mess up and wants you to be miserable and live in suffering... but because divorce shreds hearts--what God has joined together--that which has become ONE FLESH. What that disconnects it truly shreds humans, families, children.

 

I love working with people who are on the brink of divorce. Its honestly my favorite--because I get to see God get the most glory from it! 

From people who are in agony and fear of the future, to people who are living the abundant life and loving God and people to a greater degree than they ever have (and having fun, playful, passionate intimacy on all levels!)

 

If you're where I was before my divorce of my first marriage--I understand you. Now I know that it doesn't have to end that way. It really doesn't. Listen in for more. 

 

I'd love to get on a free Clarity Call to hear your story. I'd love to see if I can discern if God would want me to help you. And if it feels like that's the case, I may invite you to work with me. Otherwise, I'd be happy to give you this $500 value session for free anyway. Sign up: www.dym.as.me

 

Love, 

Belah

Jun 14, 2019

Is easygoing a personality trait or a skill? I am definitely NOT a natural "easy-goer". Most of my life, I have generally had an opinion and if asked I could find one pretty quickly. I generally have had a schedule and way in which I'd like things done. And I'm extremely goal-oriented and don't have a lot of patience for those who aren't.

Well, those can be super qualities for productivity and work, they're not necessarily the best for marriage. We've gone through a path. I've learned a lot. 

And here he and I chat about my journey into the skill of "easygoing" and my conviction that if we want the peace God wants us to walk in, we have to seek to develop this skill as well. 

 

--

If you're craving intimacy in your marriage--if you're a man or a woman--I want to help you! God has designed marriage and I believe SEX SHOULD BE BETTER IN MARRIAGE. The foundation of our marriage is God, emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. Each are vital for you to do God's work fueled out of the love cultivated in your marriage.

 

I'd like to invite you onto a FREE Clarity Call with me where we explore the hard things that you're going through and get a roadmap together of your next steps--if I feel you're the right fit for working with me I may invite you into one of my programs. But otherwise it's a $500 value for your FREE. I hope you'll join a call with me, sign up: www.dym.as.me

Jun 6, 2019

(ANNOUNCEMENT: If you don't have time to read through... my HUGELY successful men's program is starting in tomorrow, Friday June 7, 2019... make sure to sign up!! Limited spots left!)

----

He told me that this morning... they NOW have the level of connection and peace in their home that they had in "the very beginning of our marriage"... 10+ years ago. 
 
They've gone from distance, constant tension, staying late at work because he just didn't want to be home with her...
 
Now they're laughing, holding hands, kissing passionately...
 
He wishes he had done this years and years ago.

---

 

Imagine. 
 
Literally in 8 weeks.
 
 
RESULTS:
 
By God's incredible grace, in just 2 months...
 
In my pilot program of Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again! the participants marriages transformed:
 
She never initiated and felt sex was a chore or dirty/sinful to where she initiates frequently, flirts and they are having long, deep conversations like they never had since dating!
 
From a marriage where they were Separated to now together and generous intimacy!
 
From one where fighting was almost every interaction and now it is extremely rare!
 
From a marriage where there was a lot of control and never initiating to now seduction and intimate joy!

 

---

 

What is the negative state of your marriage holding you back from? 
 
How is it negatively affecting your
 
self-esteem,
 
confidence,
 
work,
 
family,
 
kids,
 
kids view of marriage,
 
kids' stress,
 
kids' future,
 
friends,
 
finances,
 
ministry,
 
...walk with God?
 
 
----
 
WHEN is this going to matter enough for you to make a change?
 
 
When are you going to start enjoying your life?
 
When is this going to matter enough for you to make a change for your family?
 
When is this going to change so your ministry is more effective?
 
When IS the right time? 
 
 
WELL... the program is starting in tomorrow--this Friday (!!) so the answer is NOW!
 
Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again!

 
---------
 
 
(JFYI your wife is going to enjoy her life A LOT more too---if you're not happy SHE'S NOT HAPPY)
 
 
--------
 
Is this the right time
...to invest in the most important (human) relationship in your life?
 
 
As a coach, I work with people all the time on money... so here's a bit of coaching around money
 
This is what I know about money…
 
Whenever people really need money, a child comes down with an illness, a family member experiences a natural disaster, or their wife needs a medical procedure... no questions asked, they find the money.
 
Sometimes they have to look a bit, they have to move money from one account to another, they have to use a credit card, ask a relative - but they find the money. That's the first thing.
 
 
The second thing I know about changing people's lives--and I've worked with people all around the world--this is really how life works…
 
 
Most people say:
When I have the money, I will do XYZ
 
When the kids leave the house I'll have time to do that career change;
 
When I retire then I'll time to do the ministry I know God has called me to;
 
 
But, in reality - life works very differently.
 
 
 
Here is how life works:
 
Number one, you make a DECISION.
 
You are wielding your power to create your life with every decision you make.
 
A decision to procrastinate is also a decision.
 
A decision to allow your emotions and your fear to make decisions for you is also a decision.
 
So, you decide to do it or not do it.
 
That's the first key - you decide. In Latin, it means to kill off all other opportunities.
 
 
The second step is to COMMIT.
 
You know if you want to get a new job, you make the resume and cover letter,
 
but... it isn't move you any closer to having the job you want UNTIL you submit the application, until you COMMIT.
 

Step three - GOD DOES AMAZING THINGS 
 
You've committed, that's applying your faith and God allows you to walk into your vision and all of the goodness He wants for you shows up, but never before. Does that make sense?
 
I see this over and over and over again!
 
-------
 
 
So, you're on this email list because you are really liking what I am doing (and I'm very grateful for you!!!). 
 
 
I suspect you feel like the MANY men out there that feel like "it is unbelievable to hear someone 'at last' understanding what men really want.
It is not just “sex” it is much deeper than that and [Belah] understands it!!!"
 
 
It sounds like you want to do Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy, and love being married again! program and it sounds like I'm the right coach for you. So let's get moving!! 
 
Sign on to now to get started on Module 1 so that you're fully prepared for our first call on Friday!
www.delightyourmarriage.com/ breakthrough
 
 ----

 

There is no other program out there like it... 
 
It's not marriage counseling...
 
 
It's ACTION oriented...
 
 
It's STRATEGIC...
 
 
It shows you your STRENGTHS and BLIND SPOTS
 
 
It's all about teaching you what MATTERS,
 
(And what doesn't work)
 
But most of all WHAT DOES WORK!
 
You will discover the keys that will actually MOTIVATE your wife to change. (no more repelling her!) 
 
 
 
-----------
 
 
The man who I described at the top of this email said
 
"I'm just shocked because it turns out I was like 80% of the problem and I had NO IDEA she was just responding to ME!"
 
So by God's grace, he knows now and because HE applied the tools and tactics I teach, he has a COMPLETELY different marriage now. In 8 weeks!!
 
 
---------
 
IT IS TIME to wield your power and DECIDE "enough is enough", I'm not going to live like this anymore.
 
 
I'm NOT destined to live a lonely, sad, distant (while married) life because my wife won't love me the way I desire love.
 
 
Jesus came to give life and life abundantly.
 
 
I am not to going to miss out on the WISDOM God has literally dropped in my lap.
 
 
---------
 
 
 
This is an online, group coaching program where you'll walk through a blueprint that by God's grace will move you from intimacy as a chore to a joy!

 

---------

 

Here are the nuts and bolts of the 3-month program:
 
Lifetime access to the "Blueprint" of 12 modules which you'll go through weekly
 
2x per week group Q&A video calls with me on video chat, where you'll get your questions answered and tailored advice for your specific situation!
 
Supplemental material tailored to all members of the class (based on individual Accountability Forms submitted weekly)
 
Online community of men who are encouraging each other through the journey! You're not alone in this struggle and you can work alongside others to move you in the direction of God's heart for your marriage!
 
 
Full details here: www.delightyourmarriage.com/ breakthrough 

 

-------

Here are some the direct testimonials of the program: 

 

Would you recommend this course? To whom? Why?

"I am a person who rarely talks about the way I feel. I do not ask for help or show weakness. I keep things bottled up and fight the internal battle to deal with my emotions of my relationship with my wife.
I have never talked to anyone about our marriage. I still find it amazing that I was able to click submit on the form to Belah.
One of the best things I have done. :) "
-Jeffrey

 

---------

"We are talking and communicating about deep things once again. Our arguments have gone from almost every interaction to extremely rare..."
What has Belah helped to make your sex/love life look like now?

"I think many men in my situation want to adore our wives, improve our marriages, have a more peaceful home, but just feel overwhelmed and/or undereducated on HOW to do that in the face of what we perceive to be unloving, disrespectful, aggressive, accusing behavior.  


What I like about your program (MR) is that it does a good job of giving us a female perspective coupled with practical steps to improve (that’s the “fix it” part we need). You also have a good way of not necessarily letting the women off the hook (you don’t always “take the woman’s side”) while still calling them men out and calling them up to a better standard.  


So my intimate life has improved in the following areas: removed the resentment from my heart; given me an insight into my wife’s heart; given me reasonable tips on how to engage her heart and mind in a way that will matter to her; improved my communication and empathetic response towards my wife; softened my heart towards a woman who has been a refuser, a gatekeeper, a porn enabler, an emotionally cut off wife, a discussion shut downer..."
Would you recommend this course? To whom? Why?  

"I would recommend the course to any man who feels like I did: married to the woman of his dreams, but still feeling depressed, lonely, heartbroken, and hopeless that it will change.  
Anyone who feels like your spouse is your roommate instead of your friend and lover.


Any man who feels like he’s tried so hard to explain his pain, but still can’t get through to his wife.  


Any man who knows he’s not going to get divorced, but feels like he’s headed down the path of a very long, lonely marriage because of his commitment.


Any man who has even allowed the word “Divorce” to whisper in the back of his mind, much less has said it out loud to his wife or just accepts it as one alternative among many."
-Oliver

 

--------

 

Another man who was Separated with his wife---she left---is now together again with his wife!!

 

-Jeremy

 

 

---------

 

What things were you struggling with when you started the course."We are Christians. My wife likes sex but there is not a lot of passion in our love life. My wife is happy with the status quo. I want the heat to turn up in our marriage and I am willing to see if it is possible.


My wife likes to be in control and is uncomfortable with discussing intimacy. She thinks that initiating is for "bad girls"!
I would love to have a passionate, enthusiastic wife."
 
NOW:"Since beginning the program my wife has started to enjoy non-sexual touching.


She has stopped telling me what to do and has become much warmer toward me.


She is very appreciative and much more enthusiastic in our love life!"
 

What has Belah helped to make your sex/love life look like now? "My wife has started initiating and there is more passion in our intimacy. I am learning about feminine sex and my wife wants more of it."
 

What difference has Belah made in your life? "Belah has taught me how to love my wife in the way she needs to be loved.


I have read a lot of books and listened to a lot of podcasts but none measure up to what Belah teaches!


I have a wife who is expressing her love for me! She LOVES what Belah is teaching me and the man that I am becoming."
 

Would you recommend this course? "99% of the men in the world need this course!"
 

To whom? "This course is only for men who are willing to change, take personal responsibility and do the work."
 

Why? "I did not want to married to my mother. I wanted to be married to girl who loved me. Belah has transformed our marriage."
 

Why do you think you've been successful in the program? "I was willing to become vulnerable and to take the risk to change. I went into the course with the attitude that I would change and hope that it would positively affect my wife.
 

Most of all, an amazing teacher! Belah is wise beyond her years!"
-Jack

 

--------------

 

Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again!

 

 

 

I want to make sure you don't miss this opportunity, so make sure you move forward as soon as possible! To get all the details to sign up, you can go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/breakthrough

 
 
Love,
Belah

May 31, 2019

"Wow... now you've got me crying."

 

"Thank you for all your insight... You have totally changed my approach and I am shocked at how poorly I have approached my wife"

 

"Your program has been a life-changer for me and my wife!"

 

"Belah, Thank you for offering this webinar and your efforts to help marriages grow stronger!"

 

"My wife decided to join me tonight (because I asked her and didn't tell her) and she said it was so helpful for her. Thank you!!!!"

 

SO...

I was wrong... I thought only husbands should attend. Now I think it'd be a great event for both of you! It sparked great convos in some couples... so I encourage you to attend together!

 

I'm hosting The 7 Blocks to Her Libido: Remove these for generous intimacy in your marriage on Sunday, June 2, 7:30pmEST! 

 

From others who attended my webinar in the past---even years later they let me know that THAT webinar was THE catalyst that changed their marriages around!

 

 

SOME OTHER RESULTS of this webinar:

After the webinar, a wife received a special sexual treat, that made her feel so loved that she started crying tears of joy.


After the webinar, another man spoke to his wife about feeling like things really could turn around for the two of them (mind you, these two were already talking about what divorce would look like practically for their child).


After the webinar, another man started implementing and his wife already started making some sexual advances which had NOT been their norm at all!

 

"It was absolutely wonderful...Would you mind if I attended your webinar again?" YES :)

 

Hope to have you on the webinar!! Sign up at www.delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks

May 23, 2019

Sexless + Controlling = miserable husband

Sex-Full + Controlling = miserable husband

Sexless + Non Controlling = miserable husband

 

Sadly, sexless or controlling or both are the biggest problems I see. And this is what I hear from husbands that are desperate for change. I want to help you!

 

JFYI My husband said this is one of the best podcasts ever---he has only said that 1 other time (!) so I hope this is one that is helpful for you.

 

I talk about foundational truths about men and women that I don't hear people shouting from the rooftops---but they should be! Learn how to strategically change what is going on in your marriage!

 

Sadly, sexless or controlling or both are the biggest problems I see. And this is what I hear from husbands that I work with. I want to help you!

 

1)

Come on my free webinar TOMORROW, Friday, May 24, 2019 at 7:30pm EST:

The 7 Blocks to Her Libido: Remove these for generous intimacy in your marriage

Sign up www.delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks

 

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2)

I used to be a CONTROLLING wife. And there was a ton of tension. He was miserable and so was I. I didn't like who my husband was. He didn't like me either. 

 

When I changed, my husband's joy, the best parts of who he is returned and improved! He's now the most amazing man I've ever met. Seriously. And I'm happier than I could ever have imagined.

 

What can you do as a husband? A LOT! Here are 3 keys that you can change things in your relationship!

 

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Here are the resources I chat about:

 

Discover her strengths: www.delightyourmarriage.com/strengths

 

Free webinar: 

The 7 Blocks to Her Libido: Remove these for generous intimacy in your marriage

Sign up www.delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks

May 16, 2019

Yep... MY husband said this! Like last week.

 

What did he mean? Maybe you're a wife that has insecurities like me? After a wonderfully intimate evening, I came clean about something I had been struggling with for a while. He was able to give ear to my heart and hear that I was feeling pain that I wasn't even aware I was hiding from him.

 

Various husbands have expressed confusion as to why a wife wouldn't want him looking at others while at the SAME TIME she's hiding her curves he LONGS to see!

 

As a wife, I get it and I stumble in this way too. If I am not vigilant I can fall just like the enemy wants us all to. I think it's sin because we're separating ourselves from God and what He wants us to do... (Quite literally) our husbands. :)

 

Maybe you're a husband who doesn't "get it". I have some important insights for you too!

 

Further... I'm EXTREMELY excited to invite you on a LIVE Webinar with me coming up! 

 

On Fri, May 24 & Sun, June 2, 7:30pm EST

I'll be hosting a LIVE FREE WEBINAR: 

WHAT'S BLOCKING HER LIBIDO? The 7 Mistakes you might be making!

 

Sign up: www.delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks

May 3, 2019

Do you want unity in your marriage? Do you want her to feel safe to be utterly vulnerable and literally naked before you? Then it is NOT helpful for her to know your past sex life. 

You probably have forgotten plenty of your past, but once you've told her it will stay with her for years--even decades.

Whatever sexual sin you've had before (or even the porn you've done while) is sin. It's your job as a man to discipline your mind, and your actions to be faithful to her. But if you're making her your "accountability partner" it's like saying: "honey, I'm trying not to look at other women, imagine them naked and pretend having sex with them". That will hurt her. Get your act together sir, get to a church, get vulnerable with someone--don't do this in isolation but don't load your dirty laundry on her. Because this will make it HARDER for her to make love (and of course that's what would actually HELP you avoid the temptations anyway).

So, whether you think you're just "being honest" you do not need to be unwise with your words. Words start forest fires. I speak to women daily about how unloved and ugly they feel because their husband struggles with porn. Women have constant insecurities all around sex. Your job as a man? Gratitude for EVERYTHING she is and does around sex. Tell her and show her how extremely grateful and gratifying her sexuality is to you.

And recognize you don't and shouldn't be a victim to your sexual cravings. And I am working with men to change these dynamics in their marriages and have already had incredible results:

-Women are now initiating "I can't remember the last time".

-"We made love 2 times this week and it was 'making love' not just duty sex".

-A man separated from his wife shared that they've now had several sexual encounters.

 

SO! If you want to know next steps with me, if you're a man, I'm opening my Clarity Calls now to you. You can book one here: www.dym.as.me This is a $500 value and I'm not sure how much longer I'll be doing these, so I encourage you to book very soon.

Apr 23, 2019

I have been late to get a podcast out to you...for a pretty important reason.

My brother was found on the side of the road without a pulse. I raced to the hospital several states away and arrived when the doctors told us he may be brain dead---we found out they were considering putting him on life-support. No one knew how long he was there without blood pumping through his body. 

 

But God. My family reached out to loved ones, Christians, churches, friends, friends of friends all asking for prayer in faith for healing. Standing on the word--by His stripes we are healed, the prayer of faith shall heal you, lay hands on the sick and they shall recover... Standing on His promises of Jesus' healing. All asking for God's miraculous intervention.

 

The story of Lazarus came up OVER and OVER again--my sister was in a play, her paster and my pastor in different states preached on it, a Lazarus song came up 2x, and 2 dreams about Lazarus. We prayed that my brother would be raised like Lazarus.

 

It's pretty incredible what happened next. I hope this story blesses you and brings you closer to Jesus and gives you greater faith in His amazing hand in your life. I believe that is what this story is to do. I believe my job is to spread the good news of the miracle-working power of the gospel. I hope you share this story to bring God glory.

 

But I also pray that if your life looks more like John the Baptist (when you hear the podcast you'll understand what I mean) I want to give you hope as well. God has not forgotten you, your situation, your loved ones, your name. He has purposes and they are far greater than we can imagine. Your life has purpose even if it looks different than others. He is the Messiah, He does love you, He has purpose and POWER for you and YOUR life.

 

Love and God bless you. 

Belah

Apr 9, 2019

What if you're a wife that has WAY lower libido than your husband? If you feel like this is just physiologically the way you were made, I want to help. I think there's a lot more to you and the way you're set up sexually.

I, Belah Rose, "the sexpert", can easily say I have a low libido. Does that keep me and my husband from having an incredible sex life? Fierce, firey, sensual, spiritual... And I get turned on too and get excited about making love! So... I don't think your libido/"natural" sex drive has to prevent you either!

Listen in to find out the top 3 things you need to know if you have a LOW sex drive. And how to turn that around. How I did and do.

But what if HE is the one with the low sex drive? Ouch! So sorry, I know that's so hard!

There are several important questions you need to be asking. I help you to sort through what could be the real source of the issues and how to overcome them. Are you contributing to the issue or COULD be contributing to live the solution?

--

What’s a Clarity Call:

You can sign up for a FREE, 40-minute call (a $500 value) for an opportunity to get clear on the issues you deal with. If you are the right fit for the program this can be a phenomenal opportunity as I can’t invite everyone into the program. Clarity Calls are free for now but I’m not sure until when. To schedule, go to: www.dym.as.me Even if we find a program is not the right fit, you’ll get a ton of awesome value.

 

Apr 2, 2019

My husband is a very wise man. Probably the wisest I've met (and I get to live with him! :) :) :) )

 

Listeners have asked to hear from my husband and I'm glad because he has a lot of wonderful & helpful things to share! I think his message has nuggets that any and every marriage will benefit from!

 

--

If you're a husband...

I'm about to pilot a brand new program:

 

Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again!

 

I have SO many men--may be like yourself--whose wives wouldn’t dream of hearing my work or considering changing their behavior or even understanding those needs. 

 
By Gods grace, I understand men AND women and this would be the program to bridge the gap for MEN to understand their wives and motivate her to WANT sex rather than REPEL her FROM it (as unfortunately, most of them are :( ).  
 
It would be an all-male group coaching with me. This would allow men to share their situations and I would advise on the female perspective and give teachings (all this via live video chat) on how to transform their marriages and intimacy within it. 
 
I’m only accepting serious, committed, decisive and coachable applicants and this pilot would be the absolute lowest investment the program will ever be.
 
I am either going to pick the best of the applications that come in or if there are a lot (and I plan to blast this all over to gauge genuine interest) then I’ll just do first come, first serve of the best ones. 
 
 If you’d like to be considered for this opportunity sign up for a Clarity Call at www.dym.as.me and we'll dive in quickly to see if you'd be the right fit to get success out of this opportunity.
 
Check out testimonials of my work: www.delightyourmarriage.com/testimonials & also www.delightyourmarriage.com/husbands to read a tiny sampling of the outpouring of men about their sexual needs and need to be respected. 
  
I'm REALLY looking forward to helping the men who constantly reach out to me for help (3 just this week!).
Mar 30, 2019

I'm about to pilot a brand new program: Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and thrive in your marriage again!

 

It’ll be a phenomenal program! I already have had 50% of those I’ve invited into the program apply, so I’m expecting a very strong group of men joining. Yesterday, was a small sampling of speaking/teaching men directly and it was absolutely phenomenal what they’ve already received marriage/intimacy changing revelations/insights that they were COMPLETELY unaware was making her NOT WANT TO make generous and fierce love. So, I cannot wait to impact the marriages that this program will provide!

 

I have worked with many women 1:1 and in group coaching, but I have SO many men like yourself whose wives wouldn’t dream of hearing my work or considering changing their behavior or even understanding those needs. 
 
By Gods grace, I understand men AND women and this would be the program to bridge the gap for MEN to understand their wives and mmotivater her to WANT sex rather than REPEL her from it (as unfortunately, most of them are :( ).  
 
It would be an all-male group coaching with me. This would allow men to share their situations and I would advise on the female perspective and give teachings (all this via live video chat) on how to transform their marriages and intimacy within it. 
 
I’m only accepting serious, committed, decisive and coachable applicants and this pilot would be the absolute lowest investment the program will ever be.
 
I am either going to pick the best of the applications that come in or if there are a lot (and I plan to blast this all over to gauge genuine interest) then I’ll just do first come, first serve of the best ones. 
 
 If you’d like to be considered for this opportunity go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/mr
 
This is an application to fill and if prepaid for the course you have a better chance at being selected for this very small pilot group until I scale it and price dramatically increases. 
 
 
Not sure I understand the male mind? Check out: www.delightyourmarriage.com/husbands to read a tiny sampling of the outpouring of men about their sexual needs and need to be respected. 
 
Not convinced lives are changed through my work? Check out: www.delightyourmarriage.com/testimonials to read the amazing things God has done through my work.
 
 
I'm REALLY looking forward to helping the men who constantly reach out to me for help (3 just this week!). I encourage you to take advantage of this as soon as you can!
Mar 26, 2019

Productiveness IS  good, but we forget that we're not just human doers -- we're also human beings.

Take the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was working hard and being productive FOR JESUS. Mary was calmly sitting, being still and LISTENING TO JESUS. Both were Godly women. And Jesus even defended Mary for “choosing the good part” when Martha accused her of not DOING.

Consider how Jesus modeled JOY and DELIGHT --  not just productivity. He certainly “did” a lot, but he also had breakfast with his friends, ate dinner and drank wine (sometimes he was even accused of being a drunkard!) and little children ran to him. He must have been pretty enjoyable to be around if even little children want to run up to the revered Rabbi.

 

If you are ALWAYS thinking that "God wants me to be productive. I need to do this and that..." then I challenge you to sit back, listen to Him, and just take delight in His presence.

 

We can also apply this to our sex lives. What if sex was fun and filled you up? And it's not just about sex. Being FUN and PLAYFUL in the bedroom EXTENDS to how you interact with your husband daily.  

In this podcast episode, you'll discover...

  • Why sex can actually be fun!
  • Sex doesn't have to be miserable - I encourage you to reverse it even if you've endured it for years and years!  
  • It can still be passionate, playful, purposeful --- like how it was in the beginning!

 

How does fun and playful sex affect us:

  • We empathize easier with our husbands and other people too
  • We rewire our brains to see, think, and do as God wants us to
  • When we’re not constantly doing and we have margin in our lives that comes through playing

 

We serve a God that loves us. He want us to know that:

  • His love is deeper and wider and truer than we can imagine.
  • He truly wants us to enjoy our lives.
  • He created physical stimuli like laughing when we are tickled. Why? Because all the joys we feel when hugged, kissed, or touched --- it is proof of God's unfathomable deep and true love for us.

 

SCARED to START BEING PLAYFUL? I'm curious where that fear is coming from? I have Clarity Calls set up especially to get at the root of how you feel underneath the behavior.  

If you go to www.dym.as.me for a 40-Minute FREE conversation with me to understand where you are in your marriage.

If you're distraught or even if you're on the edge of divorce, by God's grace, a Clarity Call may be exactly what you need to gain hope and discern next steps FOR YOU.


 

Mar 19, 2019

Words are important. They can cause a wildfire or a passionate flame in your bedroom.

 

Outside of the bedroom:

  • We can be hurtful and careless with our words and say “Oh he’s my husband”. Does that sound familiar? But is he really JUST your husband? That is God’s son you’re dealing with.

 

  • If you want to get your words in line with God’s will, one of the first things that needs to be done is to APOLOGIZE. Just get it out of the way. It’s hard, especially if it’s not part of the culture of your marriage. But it’ll get easier the more you do it!

 

  • When words are on purpose, intentional, and aligned with what God wants your husband to hear, then it’s easy to truly become ONE FLESH. Generous lovemaking becomes more natural to both of you.

 

Now onto the SEXY STUFF:

  • What CAN you say in sex?
  • Is God okay with you saying seductive phrases to your husband?
  • Could God even WANT you both to use your words to turn each other on?
  • What is going to encourage the bond between you and your husband?
  • If he's aroused and you’re not (and vice versa!) --- how do you turn each other on?
  • If you have a higher drive -- it's not your fault--but what actions can you take?
  • What about fantasy, sexy texts, and whispering attractive things in his ears?
  • So you might say “but I feel like I'm just FAKING IT?” or “It’s not my personality”. There’s plenty you can do!

Sexy language is going to feel silly at first. Just like when you study a new language! As you practice it, you get less awkward and you’ll push through and take courage in your marriage bed!

 

Resources:

  • I want to invite you on a FREE 40-minute Clarity Call with me if these are things that you struggle with and you feel very far away from being able to feel free in your sexual intimacy. It is extremely gratifying when you have the sexual intimacy you and he crave! Go to this website to schedule a chat with me: http://www.dym.as.me/

 

  • What happens at Clarity Calls? Well, we dig deep into what the issues are and I’ll listen and take notes. We're going to talk about your dreams and desires and we would go through what would it look like to bridge the gap. I'm going to determine if you would be the right fit for my program and talk through the details and maybe invite you to be one of the few clients I take on this month.
Mar 12, 2019

A lot of women are under the impression that they need to share everything with their husbands. In fact, they say this is being “honest”.

I disagree. In EVERY marriage (yes, even VERY good ones), there are many things that are not (and should not) be shared. No one needs to share about tons of bathroom stuff---yuck, not sexy. But there are tons of other things that just wouldn’t be useful, helpful, godly, respectful, kind or many other reasons to share.

AND it depends on what level of the Marriage Health Spectrum your marriage is to determine what you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT share.

If your marriage is awful right now, you shouldn't SHARE what someone who has an awesome marriage can share. You have to be strategic with what you do and do not share. SO that it can BECOME an awesome marriage.

 

Find out...

  • Where your marriage is on the Marriage Health Spectrum
    • Considering that, does he--your husband--deserve “your heart”?
    • How can you still be the faithful, generous wife AND guard your heart?
  • HOW to respond to heartbreaking adulterous situations strategically, like affairs or addictions to pornography
    • If you don’t want to lose your marriage, HOW your react is vital!
  • WHAT we can learn from Esther, the woman who changed the heart of the King!
    • Can you believe sex was involved?
  • How to transform zero-affection marriages and get to a place where you're doing God's will in this life
  • How to respond to your husband when he hurts you…
    • Hurt people HURT PEOPLE
  • Understand how your husband is motivated, how he is designed so you can work with that and help him become the man, God wants him to be.
    • And the man that supports you, loves you, allows you to be fulfilled and do God's work

 

Resources:

  • Jump on a free 40-minute Clarity Call with me. To schedule, go to: www.dym.as.me
  • IF I think I can help you, then I'll share with you what the 90-Day Delighted Wife Program looks like!
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