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Delight Your Marriage | Relationship Advice, Christianity, & Sexual Intimacy

Hi, I'm Belah. Discover with me the secrets to an incredible marriage and physical intimacy in it! Join in as I interview inspiring and amazing wives and intimacy experts who share stories of their difficulties, joys, relationship advice and secrets to a lasting marriage. I ask each guest to share advice about sexual intimacy as well! Listen in to find out how long-time wives have kept the fun, peace and passion alive!
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Now displaying: 2019

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Apr 9, 2019

What if you're a wife that has WAY lower libido than your husband? If you feel like this is just physiologically the way you were made, I want to help. I think there's a lot more to you and the way you're set up sexually.

I, Belah Rose, "the sexpert", can easily say I have a low libido. Does that keep me and my husband from having an incredible sex life? Fierce, firey, sensual, spiritual... And I get turned on too and get excited about making love! So... I don't think your libido/"natural" sex drive has to prevent you either!

Listen in to find out the top 3 things you need to know if you have a LOW sex drive. And how to turn that around. How I did and do.

But what if HE is the one with the low sex drive? Ouch! So sorry, I know that's so hard!

There are several important questions you need to be asking. I help you to sort through what could be the real source of the issues and how to overcome them. Are you contributing to the issue or COULD be contributing to live the solution?

--

What’s a Clarity Call:

You can sign up for a FREE, 40-minute call (a $500 value) for an opportunity to get clear on the issues you deal with. If you are the right fit for the program this can be a phenomenal opportunity as I can’t invite everyone into the program. Clarity Calls are free for now but I’m not sure until when. To schedule, go to: www.dym.as.me Even if we find a program is not the right fit, you’ll get a ton of awesome value.

 

Apr 2, 2019

My husband is a very wise man. Probably the wisest I've met (and I get to live with him! :) :) :) )

 

Listeners have asked to hear from my husband and I'm glad because he has a lot of wonderful & helpful things to share! I think his message has nuggets that any and every marriage will benefit from!

 

--

If you're a husband...

I'm about to pilot a brand new program:

 

Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again!

 

I have SO many men--may be like yourself--whose wives wouldn’t dream of hearing my work or considering changing their behavior or even understanding those needs. 

 
By Gods grace, I understand men AND women and this would be the program to bridge the gap for MEN to understand their wives and motivate her to WANT sex rather than REPEL her FROM it (as unfortunately, most of them are :( ).  
 
It would be an all-male group coaching with me. This would allow men to share their situations and I would advise on the female perspective and give teachings (all this via live video chat) on how to transform their marriages and intimacy within it. 
 
I’m only accepting serious, committed, decisive and coachable applicants and this pilot would be the absolute lowest investment the program will ever be.
 
I am either going to pick the best of the applications that come in or if there are a lot (and I plan to blast this all over to gauge genuine interest) then I’ll just do first come, first serve of the best ones. 
 
 If you’d like to be considered for this opportunity sign up for a Clarity Call at www.dym.as.me and we'll dive in quickly to see if you'd be the right fit to get success out of this opportunity.
 
Check out testimonials of my work: www.delightyourmarriage.com/testimonials & also www.delightyourmarriage.com/husbands to read a tiny sampling of the outpouring of men about their sexual needs and need to be respected. 
  
I'm REALLY looking forward to helping the men who constantly reach out to me for help (3 just this week!).
Mar 30, 2019

I'm about to pilot a brand new program: Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and thrive in your marriage again!

 

It’ll be a phenomenal program! I already have had 50% of those I’ve invited into the program apply, so I’m expecting a very strong group of men joining. Yesterday, was a small sampling of speaking/teaching men directly and it was absolutely phenomenal what they’ve already received marriage/intimacy changing revelations/insights that they were COMPLETELY unaware was making her NOT WANT TO make generous and fierce love. So, I cannot wait to impact the marriages that this program will provide!

 

I have worked with many women 1:1 and in group coaching, but I have SO many men like yourself whose wives wouldn’t dream of hearing my work or considering changing their behavior or even understanding those needs. 
 
By Gods grace, I understand men AND women and this would be the program to bridge the gap for MEN to understand their wives and mmotivater her to WANT sex rather than REPEL her from it (as unfortunately, most of them are :( ).  
 
It would be an all-male group coaching with me. This would allow men to share their situations and I would advise on the female perspective and give teachings (all this via live video chat) on how to transform their marriages and intimacy within it. 
 
I’m only accepting serious, committed, decisive and coachable applicants and this pilot would be the absolute lowest investment the program will ever be.
 
I am either going to pick the best of the applications that come in or if there are a lot (and I plan to blast this all over to gauge genuine interest) then I’ll just do first come, first serve of the best ones. 
 
 If you’d like to be considered for this opportunity go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/mr
 
This is an application to fill and if prepaid for the course you have a better chance at being selected for this very small pilot group until I scale it and price dramatically increases. 
 
 
Not sure I understand the male mind? Check out: www.delightyourmarriage.com/husbands to read a tiny sampling of the outpouring of men about their sexual needs and need to be respected. 
 
Not convinced lives are changed through my work? Check out: www.delightyourmarriage.com/testimonials to read the amazing things God has done through my work.
 
 
I'm REALLY looking forward to helping the men who constantly reach out to me for help (3 just this week!). I encourage you to take advantage of this as soon as you can!
Mar 26, 2019

Productiveness IS  good, but we forget that we're not just human doers -- we're also human beings.

Take the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was working hard and being productive FOR JESUS. Mary was calmly sitting, being still and LISTENING TO JESUS. Both were Godly women. And Jesus even defended Mary for “choosing the good part” when Martha accused her of not DOING.

Consider how Jesus modeled JOY and DELIGHT --  not just productivity. He certainly “did” a lot, but he also had breakfast with his friends, ate dinner and drank wine (sometimes he was even accused of being a drunkard!) and little children ran to him. He must have been pretty enjoyable to be around if even little children want to run up to the revered Rabbi.

 

If you are ALWAYS thinking that "God wants me to be productive. I need to do this and that..." then I challenge you to sit back, listen to Him, and just take delight in His presence.

 

We can also apply this to our sex lives. What if sex was fun and filled you up? And it's not just about sex. Being FUN and PLAYFUL in the bedroom EXTENDS to how you interact with your husband daily.  

In this podcast episode, you'll discover...

  • Why sex can actually be fun!
  • Sex doesn't have to be miserable - I encourage you to reverse it even if you've endured it for years and years!  
  • It can still be passionate, playful, purposeful --- like how it was in the beginning!

 

How does fun and playful sex affect us:

  • We empathize easier with our husbands and other people too
  • We rewire our brains to see, think, and do as God wants us to
  • When we’re not constantly doing and we have margin in our lives that comes through playing

 

We serve a God that loves us. He want us to know that:

  • His love is deeper and wider and truer than we can imagine.
  • He truly wants us to enjoy our lives.
  • He created physical stimuli like laughing when we are tickled. Why? Because all the joys we feel when hugged, kissed, or touched --- it is proof of God's unfathomable deep and true love for us.

 

SCARED to START BEING PLAYFUL? I'm curious where that fear is coming from? I have Clarity Calls set up especially to get at the root of how you feel underneath the behavior.  

If you go to www.dym.as.me for a 40-Minute FREE conversation with me to understand where you are in your marriage.

If you're distraught or even if you're on the edge of divorce, by God's grace, a Clarity Call may be exactly what you need to gain hope and discern next steps FOR YOU.


 

Mar 19, 2019

Words are important. They can cause a wildfire or a passionate flame in your bedroom.

 

Outside of the bedroom:

  • We can be hurtful and careless with our words and say “Oh he’s my husband”. Does that sound familiar? But is he really JUST your husband? That is God’s son you’re dealing with.

 

  • If you want to get your words in line with God’s will, one of the first things that needs to be done is to APOLOGIZE. Just get it out of the way. It’s hard, especially if it’s not part of the culture of your marriage. But it’ll get easier the more you do it!

 

  • When words are on purpose, intentional, and aligned with what God wants your husband to hear, then it’s easy to truly become ONE FLESH. Generous lovemaking becomes more natural to both of you.

 

Now onto the SEXY STUFF:

  • What CAN you say in sex?
  • Is God okay with you saying seductive phrases to your husband?
  • Could God even WANT you both to use your words to turn each other on?
  • What is going to encourage the bond between you and your husband?
  • If he's aroused and you’re not (and vice versa!) --- how do you turn each other on?
  • If you have a higher drive -- it's not your fault--but what actions can you take?
  • What about fantasy, sexy texts, and whispering attractive things in his ears?
  • So you might say “but I feel like I'm just FAKING IT?” or “It’s not my personality”. There’s plenty you can do!

Sexy language is going to feel silly at first. Just like when you study a new language! As you practice it, you get less awkward and you’ll push through and take courage in your marriage bed!

 

Resources:

  • I want to invite you on a FREE 40-minute Clarity Call with me if these are things that you struggle with and you feel very far away from being able to feel free in your sexual intimacy. It is extremely gratifying when you have the sexual intimacy you and he crave! Go to this website to schedule a chat with me: http://www.dym.as.me/

 

  • What happens at Clarity Calls? Well, we dig deep into what the issues are and I’ll listen and take notes. We're going to talk about your dreams and desires and we would go through what would it look like to bridge the gap. I'm going to determine if you would be the right fit for my program and talk through the details and maybe invite you to be one of the few clients I take on this month.
Mar 12, 2019

A lot of women are under the impression that they need to share everything with their husbands. In fact, they say this is being “honest”.

I disagree. In EVERY marriage (yes, even VERY good ones), there are many things that are not (and should not) be shared. No one needs to share about tons of bathroom stuff---yuck, not sexy. But there are tons of other things that just wouldn’t be useful, helpful, godly, respectful, kind or many other reasons to share.

AND it depends on what level of the Marriage Health Spectrum your marriage is to determine what you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT share.

If your marriage is awful right now, you shouldn't SHARE what someone who has an awesome marriage can share. You have to be strategic with what you do and do not share. SO that it can BECOME an awesome marriage.

 

Find out...

  • Where your marriage is on the Marriage Health Spectrum
    • Considering that, does he--your husband--deserve “your heart”?
    • How can you still be the faithful, generous wife AND guard your heart?
  • HOW to respond to heartbreaking adulterous situations strategically, like affairs or addictions to pornography
    • If you don’t want to lose your marriage, HOW your react is vital!
  • WHAT we can learn from Esther, the woman who changed the heart of the King!
    • Can you believe sex was involved?
  • How to transform zero-affection marriages and get to a place where you're doing God's will in this life
  • How to respond to your husband when he hurts you…
    • Hurt people HURT PEOPLE
  • Understand how your husband is motivated, how he is designed so you can work with that and help him become the man, God wants him to be.
    • And the man that supports you, loves you, allows you to be fulfilled and do God's work

 

Resources:

  • Jump on a free 40-minute Clarity Call with me. To schedule, go to: www.dym.as.me
  • IF I think I can help you, then I'll share with you what the 90-Day Delighted Wife Program looks like!
Feb 27, 2019

As a mother, you would do ANYTHING for your children.

What does that have to do with making love to their father? Well, A LOT. In fact, their eternity is at stake. Really.

  • Your marriage teaches your kids to treat others, adults and themselves.
  • Your marriage teaches them what a healthy relationship/marriage looks like and that they want one.
  • Your marriage shows them that a relationship with Jesus is fun and worth picking the right spouse and waiting for it!
  • Your marriage shows them what character means.
  • Your sex life is foundational to all of this...
    • Your husband can be an incredible dad
    • He can be focused on his family not the temptations of the world

Other things covered:

  • How sex satiety and desire for sex occurs in opposite ways for women and men
  • Why your children need to be well-liked by adults (and that's your job) 

    World-renowned psychologist mentioned: Jordan B. Peterson

  • When you're a whole woman, totally emotionally held and loved in your marriage you have a far greater capacity to be a present, teaching, loving but wise mother (rather than a resentful, haggard and push-over stressed-out mother)

 

 

Excited for you to dive deep into how to transform your marriage!

 

 

Feb 20, 2019

What does money have to do with your marriage? Finances are often touted as the biggest reason for divorce... but get this: when you have an awesome sex life studies estimate that it's equivalent to having an additional $100k per year! So... NO financial issues...

But there's more, the BIGGEST financial DISASTER that can ever befall someone is divorce. SO an awesome marriage and sex life can either pay big $$$ or cost you a ton of money!

 

With all that said, how well are you prioritizing life so that your marriage is protected and your finances support it? WISELY.

 

The Bible is very specific: wisdom is more valuable than silver and gold... "nothing your heart desires can compare with her". So, how high are you prioritizing wisdom to ensure you have an awesome marriage?

The cool thing is that Solomon first asked for wisdom and then God also gave him riches! So if you invest your finances into wisdom the rewards may also be material wealth!

I talk about the way to prioritize your life that is accorded with the Bible and how your money should reflect those priorities.

Right now I'm doing FREE Clarity Calls (I am not sure how long I'll be able to do these as I have limited space) but on these we go 40 min to uncover the bandaid to discover what is underneath the surface issues of your marriage. If I feel like you're the right fit and I can help you I may invite you to be part of my program: The Delighted Wife: Reclaim Your Sexuality, Live In Your Womanly Wisdom and Witness Him Transform Into Who You've Always Wanted. www.dym.as.me

Find out what is preventing you from having the marriage of your dreams? Sign up for a FREE Clarity Call quickly as my schedulle fills very quicly. www.dym.as.me

Looking forward to working with you one-on-one soon!

Feb 14, 2019

I get so many emails from husbands. I want to send a message to their wives...the wife I used to be. I was a wife who saw sex as

  • Dirty
  • Wrong
  • Ungodly
  • Scary
  • He was sinning for wanting it
  • Too much work
  • I didn't like it / it hurt / I didn't know what to do
  • I don't have time
  • I don't have energy
  • What's in it for me?
  • He's way too interested in sex

And so I avoided it and got resentful that the things I was doing wasn't appreciated. He kept asking me to learn more... and I got angrier.

Well God has changed my heart on this. I have discovered that God made my husband's member, and I am his wife. It is my privilege to be a part of intimacy with him. I am his only means of receiving this vital fulfillment righteously.

I believe this podcast will bring you closer to God. If you're anything like I was, I wish I had known this even before I got married. If I could only understand what sex meant to him. If I could only understand God's purposes for it.

I pray this would be something husbands can give to their wives (when she's ready---listen and practice these 3 episodes: Encourage Your Wife’s Sexuality (How A Husband Can Help His Wife Be More Into Sex) 156156/157157 first).

 

Podcasts I mention:

Praying for you and your marriage,

Belah

Feb 6, 2019

Are you having the WRONG type of sex?

  • Why your wife doesn't LOVE intimacy
  • Why sex feels carnal
  • Why sex feels like it's just for HIM
  • Why sex isn't fulfilling (EVEN if you orgasm)
  • I argue that there is a very legitimate reason... You guys haven't made feminine sex....ever
    • Have you ever even been exposed to what feminine sex is?
    • Let me give you a description and then the tools on how to get started!

 

  • Resources referenced: 
    • Miss Representation documentary
      • If you want to know more about our sexualized culture and how men have defined those you can check this own
      • My very serious warning is there's a ton of very negative visuals--sexually-explicit music videos, movies with very provocative clothing... but they have really educational good content
      • What I would suggest is turning it on your phone and then turning your phone over so you can hear the content without being exposed to the crude and sinful visuals...or just trust that somehow I gleaned what would be helpful for you!
    • A great TED talk which explains how our movies are lacking female influence, thus the feminine values and sexual desires: The Data Behind Hollywood's Sexism

 

  • FREE (Potentially Life-Changing) Opportunity
    • I am doing a limited amount of FREE Clarity Calls to help wives go deep and truly understand and get clear on what is prohibiting them from getting to the intimacy and marriage God wants for them.
    • The catch? IF I think I can help you (and I don't think I can help every woman I speak with) I may invite you to be one of the few women I coach this month.
    • But if not, you'll definitely get a ton of value from the call, so get on my calendar soon -- right I believe my next Clarity Call is available in 3 weeks from now... so get on the calendar as soon as you can so your marriage can blossom as God wants it to!! www.dym.as.me
Jan 29, 2019

So... my husband listens to every podcast before I post them. He often gives me notes on what I need to take out or change. I have been podcasting since Feb 2015 (!!) and by God's grace have been awarded one of the Top 30 Relationship podcasts on the web!!

My husband ended up listening and having an entire page FULL of notes.

POSITIVE notes! (One negative note--not that it was wrong but that it might be a bit too explicit. I countered "I just don't want wives to be confused with what I'm really talking about". He said well, it's ABSOLUTELY true..." so, I left it it in!)

In my almost 200 episodes (!!) my husbands said this is one of the best--maybe THE BEST. 

 

So! I encourage you to listen with an open heart and get ready for some (maybe uncomfortable) truth bombs!

 

Here is the site I mention where I have collated a sampling of SOME of the emails I get from husbands WISHING (and some even are crying) because they want so badly for their wives to work with me! Seriously...read it... delightyourmarriage.com/husbands

 

AND if you want to jump in and schedule a FREE Clarity Call where we unpack what's going on in your marriage, in your intimacy, the baggage and start to shed light on how to move it in the right direction, I am offering FREE 40+ min Clarity Calls. You can sign up here: www.dym.as.me

I don't know how long I'll be able to do these for free as it's a giant time commitment--but I love being able to help women. And if I think I can help, you're ready, committed and coachable and that I have the specialization to help your SPECIFIC situation I may invite you to be one of the few clients I take on this month. (I truly don't take on or even invite everyone who wants to work with me). But either way, you get a ton of clarity and direction towards next steps! So, sign up as soon as you can for a FREE Clarity Call with me, Belah!  www.dym.as.me

Jan 17, 2019

How could suffering ever be a gift? Why would focusing on suffering be a wise thing?

A lot of times the women I coach don't take the time to look at the pain and suffering they're experiencing.

But when they do that, they are distracting themselves away from its lessons--the wisdom God wants to teach us through it. And even through our AWARENESS of it.

On this episode, I talk about the 13 Gifts of Sufferings and I talk specifically about some of my own sufferings that have given me great gifts and it was because I was aware of them in the moments that God used it profoundly in my life.

 

Jump on a call with me personally to unearth what you're going through and use the suffering to provoke action! Check to see if I have some time on my calendar at www.dym.as.me It's a 40min call for free with me directly!

---

Testimonial: of a husband of 20+ years:

I just wanted to say a few things, like...Thank you!

Thank you for the time you spent with her, and for your generosity, it is much appreciated. I don't know what the two of you discussed, I haven't asked and she hasn't told. But I haven't seen such a fast change in [her] in, well....ever.

It's like she is a different woman. Actually, she is behaving more like the woman I thought I married or wish I had married... The changes I have seen in her are profound...

Again, I don't know what you coached her to do, and I don't know if she is doing it all or only doing half. But I do see a changed woman in my life. So again I say "Thank You!"

 

Check to see if I have some time on my calendar at www.dym.as.me I'd love to speak with you directly for free! 

Jan 10, 2019

Can things really change? "It's been 5, 10, 25 years, how could this ever be different?"

Suffering in marriage makes your whole life suffer---kids, job, ministry, peace, walking in the fruits of the spirit, sexual fulfillment, chastity in thoughts, satisfaction in marriage, covetous thoughts of other marriages, sin in many places, not starting the ministries God has called you to and would thus not touch the many people God wants you too!!

 

It's 2019, packed in this message is lots of hope, and practical steps to make changes in you that will greatly impact your marriage!

 

Here is a testimonial I just received by a wife who has been married 10+ years:

"Before working with Belah, my marriage had been to the brink of divorce and separation. My husband and I had continual anger and resentment toward one another. I knew the importance of sex to a man, and felt pressure to be 'enough'. But I felt like I never was. 
 
I reached out to Belah, for her to help me be who he needed. Belah listened to my heart, and saw the missing piece- boundaries. Turns out, he needed ME all along. 
 
Through Belah's coaching, she helped me with:  Healthy boundaries. Loving and respecting myself. Realizing, and honoring what "I" enjoy and desire about sex and intimacy. She gave me wisdom and words to say. Teaching me what a healthy relationship looks like in all areas. 
 
The amazing benefits I am enjoying now: LOVE; true love like never before. My husband and I look forward to being around each other, and have such an appreciation and respect for one another.  I am cherished and honored, he is respected and lifted up as my man. I am more "me" than ever before, and loving exactly who I am and am becoming.
 
Through working with Belah, my marriage is saved and thriving, and I am forever changed and grateful."
 
To God be all the glory.
 
I want to help you get clarity on what is really going on in your marriage and I have limited space to talk with some women one on one to uncover what is really going on in their marriages for transformation! If you're serious about wanting this difference in your marriage, sign up at www.dym.as.me as soon as you can, as space will fill up quickly!
 
www.dym.as.me
 
 
 
Love,
Belah
Jan 1, 2019

WHAT SHOULD YOUR LIFE BE ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING OF 2019?

I used to try to cram all of my goals into the beginning of the year. And I would scramble for a few weeks potentially months—at best and then drop all of them by April.

 

I’ve learned something very valuable that I wanted to share today. I want to talk to you about exactly how I set my priorities throughout every year. It frees me up to focus, relax and listen to God’s voice.

 

This year I’m really excited and there’s a lot of really good things! And I want that for you as well. If you want to move your marriage to a place of peace and passion and joy and purpose, I would love to jump on a FREE breakthrough call where you can discover solutions immediately.

 

Sign up here: https://dym.as.me/ God bless you in 2019!

 

(If you’re not in my FREE private Facebook group where we discuss intimacy and marriage and purpose in life and I walk with God join here!… Wives only! :-) ) www.facebook.com/groups/delightym/

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