Delight Your Marriage

Husbands and wives are different. You want different things in marriage and intimacy on every level (emotional, spiritual, and physical). Whether you're a wife or a husband, whether you're suffering or pretty good... and you're looking for bible-based insights and scriptural practical guidance on how to transform your marriage, you've found the right podcast! We have "transformation stories" that will inspire hope that putting into practice these principles, by God's grace, can truly change your intimacy completely. If you're looking to see how to transform your marriage sign up for a free Clarity Call ($300 value), we can hear your story and work with you to determine if we are confident we can help you:
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Feb 11, 2022

"She felt he was pushing her towards sex and she would pull away and it would make him angry".

After 37 years of marriage, God has done a work in their marriage. Even though they were best friends, this was something that was always this "friction" between them.

She felt like she was up against a wall all the time and being pushed caused her to have no libido.

She had never, ever spoken to ANYONE about sex, ever. And she said now she is able to speak about it. After 37 years of questions and pain, now she's feeling healing.

He thought he was expressing his heart and it was just pushing me farther from him sexually.

She says this freedom in intimacy "impacts everything".

I think this will give you so much hope and insights into what you can do as a husband, and how you can be encouraged as a wife.

God is still transforming hearts!



PS - If you'd like to find out if a program that Julie was discussing that she or her husband went through, join us on a Clarity Call at to speak to a Clarity Advisor (a $300 value, for free) to determine if we can help you like Julie.

Feb 4, 2022

What a fantastic interview with Gary Thomas!

If you're not familiar with him yet, I think you'll be glad that you are now!

Gary has a new book out: Married Sex -- to add to the other books that have been such a perspective shift for me and many I know. His heart is specifically about God's design for marriage as an opportunity to grow closer to Him.

I want to share one specific phrase, the tagline of his bestseller Sacred Marriage, "What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?" That inspires me and encourages me away from secular values and norms, and provokes me to be more aligned with God's will and desires.

But know, dear listener, he believes that enjoyable and pleasurable sex is a great part of God's plan!

How? Well, we talk about tools and tips and understandings around sex and the differences in men and women that can give you a whole different view of what God intended sex to be. 

Gary helps people open their hearts to more. And because you can see so clearly his pursuit for the Lord, it helps to hear him say some things about sex that you might otherwise think are not "appropriate" for a holy person. But the truth is they are and so much more joy can be had in this realm.

Do pick up his book Married Sex and check out more of his work at


It was a true honor to get to speak to Gary in person as I have admired his work from afar. It really has been a huge blessing to me, my understanding of God as well as grace, joy and respect for my own husband. I'm excited for you to get to know him better!



PS - If you'd like to find out more about Delight Your Marriage accountability-based programs and live coaching, you can go to and click on Clarity Calls or other free resources.

Jan 28, 2022
Do you ever feel humbled by your mistakes?

Do you ever feel flat-out humiliated? 


Oh my, do I fall into that sometimes! 

I think the enemy feels glad about that -- and then the shame he heaps upon us while we're recognizing the mistake (and maybe the enormity of it.)


And that's when God's truth (as Kyle, DYM Mentor, reminded me of yesterday) is so helpful.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" Romans 8:1


See, when we go out of our comfort zone and try to do God's work, we're going to trip. And that's normal. 

One reason I hope and pray that you have seen me trip is so that you can have more courage to get out there and do something that God has called you to do also. 

It takes courage, and we're going to trip. I'll raise my hand to that.

We're going to mess up. 

But the nice thing is God is present and He is helping us to get up and get better over and over again.

Note: Perfection isn't even a real possibility anyway -- who gets to decide what "perfect" even is? Who are we trying to impress, really? Which of the billions of humans' opinions are you going to listen to? And what if their opinion changes? 

But if you say, "I'm going to do my best. I'm going to do something bold". You're gonna mess up sometimes. And it's good! 


It feels terrible though. But that means you're still living. Just like a plant, if you're growing it means you're living. 

We have to own it and clean up the mess we made, but thank God you're not perfect and you're still growing. 


Also, the great thing about God, is that He may reveal your imperfections to those who admire you, for the reason that they need to see you as "not God".

They need to see God as God and you as a humble, imperfect servant who is just trying their best to make Him proud. 




Bravo to you. You're out there! You're doing it! 

We're not perfect. We're making a mess, but we're cleaning it up and trying to move forward a bit wiser and more compassionate next time. 


(Also, if you want to see someone "making a mess in public" check out our website right now:

We're in the middle of a refresh. And it's definitely in the "getting there" mode. 

Why didn't we put an "under construction" sign up and reveal once it's perfect? Well, then I would be taking away a lot of ways I serve you, plus how interesting is it to walk into someone's workshop and see what they're tinkering with as it happens? So, you're welcome to see how we're tinkering :)  


Wishing you a fantastic rest of your day, may this episode bless you and give you courage! 





PS -- If you'd like your marriage to go from ok even good to wonderful -- we'd love to help!


Jan 21, 2022

This is a resource to invite your wife to Delight Your Marriage, and to me, Belah Rose. 


I would love for you, husband, to listen first and see if you might use this as a warm introduction to my material. 


It's so easy to see words on a page and be repelled by it, but it's far better for us to get to know each other on a personal level and I'm hoping that's what this episode allows for. 


(For those who have already gone through MR1 -- or are the recent graduating class -- I especially made this for you!)


If you've done the work on yourself, I think it makes sense to pray and ask God for His timing and see if this might be a tool that He can use for a brief and positive introduction to the work. 

The work that is transforming families and marriages around the world -- by God's grace! 



PS -- If you'd like your marriage to have the passion (even if you're really great friends right now), then you need to chat with one of our Clarity Advisors.

Allow them to hear your story and see if a program could truly make the change you're seeking.

Jan 14, 2022

I think we often forget about the power of words. Especially if the "party" we're talking about isn't present. 

But what about the "party" that is present? 


Here's a true saying: "those who talk to you about others, will talk to others about you".

And when your spouse hears you judge another person, they may feel glad that you consider them a confidant. 

But the problem is, they also get to hear what kind of person you are. 

They understand if you judge others, you're going to judge them the same way. 

And judging outside of the bedroom means judging inside of the bedroom.

A judging mindset doesn't stop when you get in the sheets -- and your spouse knows it.

And specifically, women, can't feel safe and free if she knows she's sharing a mattress with a meany. 


Then, Jesus has some pretty scary things to say about our words:

"But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken."



Who needs to go delete a few social media posts (or dozens?), amazon reviews, apologize to our spouse/kids/family/friends/acquaintances/coworkers, and repent bitterly for the silly nonsense we say!?

Gossip. Slander. Criticism. 

Lord have mercy.


This episode is a message to encourage all of us to watch our tongue. 

Or... keyboards.

(Regardless of how many followers someone has... you may be reading/listening to plain-old gossip.

And it's on each of us to look away from the "juicy slander" and recognize it for what it is and recognize that the speaker will have to give an account for it.)


This episode is a message is to remember the power of the tongue.

In James, he says A FOREST FIRE is ignited through it.

I want to challenge our cultural norm to say.... all sorts of immature things :) I can only say that with a knowing through experience expression. 


Thank you, dear listener...

...for always wanting to grow. 

...for always trying to do better. 

...for always wanting to make God proud of you. 

Bravo -- and good on ya!


Have a great weekend. 


Love and Blessings,



PS -- You need help in your marriage? You know where to find us!

We'll get on a call with you and see how we can support you to transform your marriage to peace, playful, and passion <3



Jan 7, 2022
Jfyi, I recorded all of this episode (except for the very last portion) about 11 weeks ago, so for those currently in DYM programs -- take it personally -- but not because I recorded it thinking of you specifically :) 
What is masculinity? 

What our society says it is?

Powerful, rich, authority, direct, right, muscular, able and willing to kill, tough, deep, deep voice, no emotion, immovable, winner in every arena, sexually desired, admired by all...

Do you feel you have to always have the last word or you're considered weak?

Do you feel you have to fight to preserve your "manhood"?

Do you feel you have to have sex in a certain way/frequency/variety/engagement/enthusiasm from her, for you to feel like a man?

Do you feel your wife has to treat you with respect for you to feel like you're masculine?
I get how it is confusing based on the poor role modeling we get in our SERIOUSLY backward society.

The problem is... 

A mature woman scarcely gives a crumb about the aforementioned descriptions. 

And lucky you... you married a mature woman who grew from the early days of your relationship where a lot of those things mattered.

And now she wants a man who... well, I'll tell you.
There's an actual, clear example of true masculinity. 

The manliest of men.

The best example of manhood. 

The only one we must compare ourselves to and rise higher because of.

It's impossible to overstate the importance of us looking at Jesus as the role model of masculinity.

The one who was ridiculed, spit on, false accused, humiliated, laughed at, disrespected, endured suffering when he could have killed them all with a simple word...

That is the true man. 

That is our true masculinity. 

And that is what it means to be potent. 
When you live, love, and lead like Jesus, that is the man your wife is longing for.
PS - If you're ready... but you don't know how to do this practically. 

That's why we've created and perfected the program Masculinity Reclaimed... God has used it to restore and revive MANY a sexless and lonely marriage. 

We'd love to help you, starting with a simple risky step of getting on a call with a Clarity Advisor who themselves have gone through a DYM program and God change THEIR marriages as a result. 

Would love to join you in this

Be a real man, (LOL ;) we'd love to take that next step with you.


Jan 4, 2022

Do you have your goals for 2022?

Do you have your goals for Q1 of 2022?

I don't just mean business/work goals. I mean goals that help align your life with God's will.

Do you have a system for discerning God's will?

Well, in this episode I give you my system for discerning God's will and writing goals accordingly.

It's thorough, comprehensive, "begins with the end in mind", and keeps an eye to meeting Jesus central.

Too often people fail to consider the big picture so the small picture seems like it doesn't matter. Well, I want to give you a serious kick in the motivation and "you can do it!" through this episode.

Because -- through Christ -- you following God's will, can be super practical and doable! Here's my system.

The beginning of January is when everyone is excited about goals, so I suggest you use that momentum to set your own goals for the next 3 months (Not year, 3 months -- you'll hear why).

Now is the best time to discern and commit to those goals.


Also, if marriage is on that list...we can help!

Go to to schedule a free Clarity Call (similar to a consultation) where a Clarity Advisor speaks with you about your situation and evaluates how we can help.

Our 3-month programs cost about what you would pay a marriage therapist if you did weekly sessions for 3 months. We have seen couple after couple experiencing huge benefits in their marriages! (Have you checked out our amazing testimonials????)

Ever considered how much that you paid to get married? (Average cost of a wedding in the US is $28,000 nowadays!) Maybe yours was far less than that, but may I ask how much have you invested since make it a lifelong, intimate & happy marriage? Which touches EVERY area of your life?

2022 may be the year to get help on that vow you made however many years ago!

Sign up for a free Clarity Call at to find out how we can help you.


No matter what your goals are in 2022...I want you to be intentional about discerning and setting them.

From all of us at DYM -- We love you and love being a part of your lives in the last year and are so grateful we get to be a part in 2022!!!

Listen in to today's podcast: 320-How I Discern God's Will -- Your 2022 Goals





PS - A recent wife graduate wrote, "I have so enjoyed working with Belah. She has opened my mind and eyes to so many needs and desires of my husband that I honestly was ignorant of.

I am so grateful for the way we have grown closer in our relationship both sexually and emotionally.

Even though we are in a busy, tiring stage of life with 4 kids - 5 and under, I still find myself craving intimate sex and alone time with my husband."

Sign up for a free Clarity Call at to find out how we can help you.

Dec 16, 2021

Oh, we wish you a Merry Christmas,

and we wish you fear-free Christmas,

and we wish you a faith-filled Christmas,

and from all of us at D-Y-M!


That's just one example of why my kids drown out my singing when I make up words to popular tunes. 


Regardless of my kids, here's another one I'm proud of...


Let it go. 

Let it go. 

Don't worry 'bout it anymore--

Let it go. 

Let it go ---

Just wait to see what's in store. 

We don't know, what God has planned. 

But if we trust in Him -- 

He'll give us the strength to stand. 


I am proud of that one. They... are not. 


(I promise I sang neither of those on today's podcast episode.)


But today's conversation is about faith.

Faith is what we celebrate at Christmas.


The faith we have in Jesus being brought into the world for us.

And this is the faith I want to remind you of during this season that often can get crowded up with all the holiday festivities.


I want to talk about how vital faith is for the miracle you're looking for in your marriage.

I want to talk about how vital faith is for God's hand in your life.

And how -- I don't want to block God's miracles, because of my lack of faith. 

There are nuances that I hope you'll listen to from the episode.


But what about when you have faith and God doesn't come through like you hoped? We walk through that as well.


Ultimately, from this episode this is what my aim is:

When we get to the other side of eternity and look back, I hope, hope, hope Jesus will "marvel" at our faith. 

That I would not be offended by His choices, but I would have faith all the more regardless.

That I would not disappoint and frustrate Him by lacking in faith, especially after ALL the amazing experiences I've seen others have and those He's given me personally.


May we each stand in that place of faith that moves mountains. 


May Christmas provoke us to walk nearer and in closer relationship with and in awe of the man who came to us...

Jesus, who is Christ the King.


PS -- I challenged you to pray about whether or not 2022 would be the year that you spent 3 months focusing on transforming your marriage.

And if it is -- I ask you to schedule a call with a wonderful Clarity Advisor who can guide you through your own story and see how we can help.


PPS -- Those songs above are not copyrighted (yet--just kidding ;D ), so you can feel free to whip those out the next time you need a bit of extra faith and trust! 

Dec 10, 2021

How do we process feelings in order to bring about healing into our relationships, rather than cause tension and strife?

Can we trust our feelings?

Do you struggle to interpret your spouses feelings? Does your spouse misinterpret your feelings?

This podcast will help give some guidance about healthy ways to process our feelings and the feelings of those who are in our lives.

What is your compass?

Although feelings are real, feelings can be a disastrous compass. Feelings are volatile, unpredictable, and often, not even accurate to reality.

There is a MUCH better compass to live by!

In order to act in wisdom with our feelings, they cannot be our leader! Rather than react to our feelings, we need to respond to our feelings. 

To be direct in our communication is easy for the speaker, but it is hard for the listener. Does our communication style make those who hear us feel safe, cherished, respected, admired, and loved?

Yes, feelings - wisely handled - can be so helpful in so many ways! I invite you into this podcast with Belah as she shares some valuable insights on this subject.

On behalf of Belah, ~ Darcy

PS If you would like help with your marriage, you are invited to click on this link to schedule a free Clarity Call with a DYM advisor.

Dec 1, 2021

Oh wow -- what an awesome and surprising conversation I got to have with Ebony. 

Firstly, this was supposed to be my opportunity to coach her as a recorded call for our ladies in the group. But, it turned into her sharing her testimony and wonderful insights and encouragements from her life that I just had to share with you!

She was raised by a single dad, her husband was raised by a single mom. 

Due to trauma and difficult heartaches in their history, they've suffered many challenges.

She has 3 kids and wanted to rewrite the story of their future families.

When she found DYM it was after she had a season of working on her mental health through therapy. (Something I have done and highly recommend as well!)

When she found the DYM podcast, God started speaking to her through the material. And she decided to get on a Clarity Call and join the program. 

She didn't tell her husband because so many times in the past she has said something, he'd get his hopes up and then he would be disappointed. 

She decided she would do the work this time without him knowing.

And she started but was so sad to see him resist her efforts. It wasn't until she gave it to God and waited on Him, did her husband started pursuing her again! And now things are getting closer and closer -- in amazing ways!

As a woman of color, she has lived the unique challenges of her community and has come to a place of seeking to be an example of transformation for her own daughters and their friends. 

God is doing amazing things in her life and by listening, I think you'll be lifted up and encouraged as well!





PS - Like her, if you're interested in a Clarity Call, you can go to we can listen and see if we can partner with you and witness what God may want to do in your marriage!



PPS - For a limited time (this training is going away soon!) there is a free masterclass for Christian wives:

If you're a wife, it would be an awesome Christmas present to him for you to take it! <3 Enjoy!

(If you're a husband who wants to get her to do this training, check out a free training for YOU: )
Nov 23, 2021

Last week was part 1, and today I'm excited to bring you the last few items to rekindle the romance, intimacy, connection that may have been lost over the years. 

Today, I am giving insights on sex, including responsive vs. spontaneous drive and libido. Which I think will help men and women - high or low drive.

Seriously, if you know someone struggling in marriage -- these are the episodes to send them. 

It's definitely high-level but if they'd follow it -- oh, my -- they'd be in a better place!





PS - If you need help, we're here! Sign up for a Clarity Call (free, but worth $300) to determine how we can help you...

PPS - For a limited time (this training is going away soon!) there is a free masterclass for Christian wives:

Wife, it would be an awesome Christmas present to him for you to take it! <3 Enjoy!

Nov 23, 2021

So this is a catch-all type of episode that seeks to give you high-level insights where you can almost immediately gain traction in rekindling romance, passion, and connection your marriage -- or just take it to the next level. 

So, if you've been looking for something...anything that could help -- here you go!

If you have a friend who is on the rocks with their spouse, send them this episode (and the one coming out next week).

If they follow it, I believe they'll witness God's dramatic transformation.



PS - If you need help with your marriage immediately -- get on a call with a Clarity Advisor to go through how we can help you.

PPS - If you are a wife and want to give your husband true connection for Christmas... take this free masterclass only available for a short time -- go to

Nov 16, 2021

JUST in time for the holidays!

Please listen to this before you have a blow-up with the people most important to you. I'll give you a lot of tools that you can implement immediately.

(Warning: All of the scriptures below and in the episode are personalized to your spouse, but if you know you'll be seeing a certain someone who triggers you, put their name in there, too!)


When I look at scriptures like...

Phil 2:3

“Do nothing towards [your spouse] out of selfish ambition or strife but value [your spouse] above yourself.”

“Care not of your interests but care about the interests of [your spouse].” 


That's kind of a knock in the face needed to stop always thinking about ourselves, isn't it?

And don't most of our marital fights start because that's the only one we're thinking about?


I just wonder if we'd be proud of ourselves if a transcript of the last fight was read from the pulpit on Sunday. may be thinking about when your spouse comes at you with...

-Untrue accusations...

-Totally, self-centered criticisms...

-Immature and discouraging complaints...

What are you supposed to do?


That's what I'm going to help you see in today's conversation. 

Here's the summary if you can't listen in right now...

1 - Have a daily prayer time for your spouse & a daily time in the Word so your heart and mind are shaped by God's leadership.

[Enter negativity from spouse]

2 - Wait. 

3 - Could there be something you don't understand that is why they are reacting that way?

4 - Compassionately circle back after emotions have calmed and listen to understand, not to respond.

5 - [Several other things I include in the podcast]

6 - Witness God do amazing things.


In this episode, I also teach you how to personalize the Bible so it helps you with your marriage.

And how to get started loving this book (even if it feels like a chore now).


Suffice it to say that God cares about what comes out of our mouths. Here's another motivating scripture...


Prov 12:18 -- “Your reckless words pierce [your spouse] like swords.” 



Let's let that word picture motivate us to hold our tongue!

Start at home, because that's your most important human assignment. The person you can harm or heal the most. 


The final part of Prov. 12:18 “...your tongue -- if you are wise -- brings healing to [your spouse].” 


Isn't that what we want, everyone around us to be healed? Is us "being right" more important than their healing?


When this habit is strong with our spouse, it impacts our habits with our kids, our extended family, our friends, our work, our light in the world... 



I pray that this encourages you to be the peacemaker in your home - as that is what God, through His Word, asks of you.




PS - Get the help you need by speaking to a Clarity Advisor (a $300 value) for free here: 

A recent grad from the Masculinity Reclaimed course said, "Thanks for changing my life and my marriage in ways I didn't even think needed changing."

PPS - I've got a ton of free resources if you haven't yet checked them:

Nov 11, 2021

You have too much riding on this. 

There is too much to lose or gain. 

Don't give up. 

My goal today is to encourage you. You're doing a really good job. Just by tuning in, you're winning.

You're seeking to love your spouse well, even when it doesn't look like it matters. 

You're seeking to do God's will in the midst of your circumstances. 

My husband is on the show today because he's the best encourager that I know. And I want you to hear from him how much he wants you to know, you're on the right path, you're doing the right thing, and I am proud of you. 



PS - If you need help right away, get with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help you:

PPS - If you have yet to check out our free stuff -- do so here!

Nov 5, 2021

Sometimes we look at our blowups and wonder -- how did we even get here? 

How did a wrong turn, an unpaid bill, an unwashed dish, or a burnt potholder... turn into World War III?

What happened here?

And why is this kind of nonsense tearing our family apart at its foundations?

It's because you're not really fighting about a potholder. 

You're fighting about all the unmet expectations from the years and years of pain you've experienced. And so is your spouse. 

How do you get out of this cycle? 

And more important: what does Jesus require of you in this cycle? 

What does is matter in eternity whether or not you succumb to these kinds of blow ups?

Well, my goal is to give you a bit of fear of the Lord to decide you are going to be a real follower of Jesus and the blow ups aren't gonna fly. 

 I hope you'll listen in with an open heart and a desire to grow and be edified. And ultimately a desire to grow closer to God's will for you.



PS - Two things: 

1 - if you haven't yet checked, there are a ton of helpful free resources here:

2 - if you need immediate help, go to to get a free Clarity Call where someone from my team will speak to you deeply about your specific situation and see if we can help. 

Oct 29, 2021

I used to be so weirded out by sex, because I was pursuing Jesus with everything. 

How could my life be sold out for Christ and have to engage in such carnal behavior?

Then God opened my eyes to quite a lot. I hope you'll listen to today's podcast with an open heart and willingness to let Him reveal His true design and desire for you in your marriage. 

Love & Blessings,


PS - if you need immediate help with your marriage/intimacy please set up a call with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help: 

Oct 16, 2021

Masculinity Reclaimed (the program these gents took to transform their lives, by God's grace) has opened enrollment and it all closes down this Monday, October 18, 2021 11:59pm EST


How frequently have you heard of marriages "on the rocks" or getting divorced? And how frequently are you hearing of marriages transformed and healed and better than when they were dating! (In just 3 months!?!?!?!)




God is doing it HERE! 


I want your faith to be inspired and encouraged and for you to feel true HOPE that if it can happen for him and him and him and him and him and him and him...

It could happen for you!

(And these are ONLY the men from the program who are brave enough to have their face and voice out on the internet for all to hear/see!)

It's a movement and we have the largest turn out we've ever had in the free Men's Masterclass! And men are joining Masculinity Reclaimed left and right. 


Now is your time -- you owe it to yourself to find out if this is where God would want you in this season.


Find out all the details:


(If you have a friend who needs hope, send them this podcast, you may be the only one who helps him see that things could really be different if he was just willing to step up. Thank you <3)


Love & Blessings,


PS - Masculinity Reclaimed enrollment closes down this Monday, October 18, 2021, 11:59pm EST

Oct 15, 2021

If you're looking for hope that your marriage or intimacy could change, you've found it. 

These are rapid-fire stories of how these men's marriages literally transformed in simply 3 months. 

Here are these guys saying in rapid-fire interviews:

"Now, it's better than when we were dating"

"She initiated 5x in a week" and she didn't know he was doing the program.

"Our emotional connection is so much better than it was...she's softening"

"Our intimacy is night and day different" 


If it can happen for them, why not you? I bet you'll hear your own story in theirs.


The Masculinity Reclaimed program is what they did and now God has transformed intimacy for their marriages!

Listen in to hear hope and encouragement!


Join the Masculinity Reclaimed program before it all closes down 11:59pmEST on Monday Oct 18, 2021





PS - Once you go through MR, I'd like to add your testimonial to the list---it's pretty long at this point, but I want yours too :)

Why not have the most amazing Christmas and New Year you've ever had! If you start now, that'll be a reality!

Join us --

Oct 14, 2021


If you join within the first day, you can get the fast-action bonus Team Strategy Session with Belah!


Hope to see you on the inside!


Oct 12, 2021

Join us! 

Some gents have met together to go through the material carefully after each class (like a Bible Study!).

Some men have moved their vacation schedules!

Some men asked if they should take off work to make sure they can be a part. 

Our team does an amazing job of making this a fantastic experience for the attendees -- very interactive with quizzes, points, prizes and most of all an opportunity to gain the perspective and tools that could change your marriage forever!

Join us, Oct 11, 12 & 13

Oct 8, 2021

This Monday -- Oct 11 is when the Men's Masterclass begins -- sign up and please send it to your friend who may need this.

--Now to the show!--

I think all the wives will want their husbands to listen to this one. 


Because I have the good fortune of working with men every (work) day and hearing their unfiltered thoughts about intimacy...

I can help you understand why your wife often rejects you.


One of the major truths is that it's SCARY to initiate sex with your wife. 


So, you probably do...


But in general, it's a half-invested way, in hopes that her rejection won't feel so painful. Because from experience it has been rejected, even your best attempts.


Fast forward to today. 


Now, because a husband's attempt at enticing his wife to make love is so "inadequate" for fear of rejection.

(Jfyi "inadequate" was the thesaurus's replacement for "lame" :) )

For this reason, the wife naturally would reject it.


But what if we took the fear out of this exchange entirely?

And your enticing her towards intimacy was filling for her and could even be successful!?


AND you're not full of fear.


Is that even possible?

I think with these insights, you will be well on your way.

to invite a wife--who is never in the mood-- 

to be in the mood!



Jfyi, I go a lot deeper in all of this in a systematized and even templated way in one of the bonus courses, "Romantic Initiating: Start the way she craves". It's part of the Masculinity Reclaimed program. 

If you sign up for the men's masterclass you'll find out all of the details.

Join the free Men's Masterclass starting Oct 11 -- sign up ASAP 

We all have someone who needs help in their marriage, I would be honored and I encourage you to have the courage to send them this way! 

Oct 7, 2021

He does not know it will cost him his life.


Sounds like a horror movie -- where the killer is waiting in the woods without the person knowing.

But the person should never have come into the haunted house in the first place -- if only he knew it would cost him his life.

(Isn't that how those horror movies go? I don't actually know, I don't watch them.)


But, my hope is that this episode would grab you at your core. 


I hope it does. 


Our society says the absolute opposite of this about sexual sin.


It's so sad and so awful the way sex outside of marriage is touted in our society as "normal" and even "healthy".


Oh but it grieves God. And it destroys a man's soul. 


"He does not know it will cost him his life". Prov 7:23


So I want to ring the bell. I want to yell in the streets -- you don't know the danger. You can't see the wreckage, but it is happening whether you see it or not. 


So, much of Proverbs warns against the temptation of the wrong way of sex (and so many other places explicitly as well as embedded in stories of men who made these mistakes themselves).  

It is a powerful warning. 

I hope and pray this episode shakes you from your slumber.

And puts the fear of God in you so you no longer see yourself as a victim but as one who "does not even go near her corner".


Sexual sin should NOT be trifled with.

You know what sexual sin is for you (is it in reality or fantasy... all of that is the sin we are talking about.) 

May you see the see evil and hide yourself, "But the naive proceed, and pay the penalty" Prv 22:3

That it might not cost you your life.





PS - Join the free Men's Masterclass: Passionize Your Marriage (even if you're the only one doing the work!) starting Oct 11

PPS - If you know your friend needs this material, invite them to the masterclass send him to 

Oct 1, 2021

Get inspired and encouraged by Nick's story. It's amazing! They were miserable.

He had plenty of ministry and church background. He certainly tried his best!

They had 5-kids, including a brand new baby.

But he and she had resigned themselves to misery.

He didn't even want his kids to get married because it was so painful for both of them.

But in 6 weeks it all turned around, by God's grace!


Why do I share this and other stories of God's transformation?

1 - Because you need faith that YOUR marriage can change. 

2 - You can get specific insights that Nick changed and why his wife transformed. 

3 - And to convince you that you need to take the free Masterclass coming up in October 11, 12 & 13. can get you straight to the Free Men's Masterclass sign up.

(It's easier to type than but both will get you to the registration page!)


(To help spread the word about DYM--even internationally to countries where evangelizing carries the death penalty (not an exaggeration!)--leave a 5-star iTunes review, here's how: )





PS - Be sure to join us on the FREE Men's Masterclass - Oct 11, 12 & 13

Sep 21, 2021

Our society today so often wants to ignore God's design and essentially forget the fear of the Lord.

But, he made men and women in His image and those uniquenesses are incredible!

Physiological, psychological, emotional, and sexual...UNIQUE.

Each of our uniquenesses is God's glory revealed.

It's our opportunity to search out His glory through each other. 

And it makes sense that the enemy wants to undermine God's design in every way that he can.

One way is pretending that we're the same. 

Why is this bad?

Well, husbands assume their wives are intentionally hurting them because she is "withholding" love (in the unique way he receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction.

And wives assume their husbands are intentionally hurting them because he is "withholding" love (in the unique way she receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction.

But if we start with the perspective:

My spouse, my "ezer kə·neḡ·dōw" (from Gen 2:18), is WILDLY different than me because God made him/her that way.

They desire, love, enjoy, crave completely different things than I do---let me discover what those things are!

In sum: assume you are completely different than your spouse and that you can learn how to love them the way they receive love. 

"Making love" rather than having sex is a vital piece. Listen in to learn more.

I'm praying and rooting for you in this!



PS - Men: your free masterclass is right around the corner starting October 11 (don't miss it, add it to your calendar!) and sign up

Sep 17, 2021

Pastor Nathan's wife had abuse/trauma growing up that severely inhibited her sexual desire and affection with him. 

They were good people and she wanted to love him well, but couldn't because of her past. 

And her libido was SO low. 

Pastor Nathan went through the Masculinity Reclaimed program and his wife transformed before his eyes.

(She didn't do a program).

His favorite moment was when he said after a very passionate experience and he said "thank you"--she responded "well, it was because I wanted it so badly"!


Pastor Todd & Donna had a great marriage. (Donna joined him for this interview!)

They come from a long line of pastors and are very busy doing a lot for others. 

And it was really good -- but intimacy was physically painful for Donna and she also had low drive.

Pastor Todd joined the MR program (almost by accident) and he felt like he didn't belong there because everyone seemed to have it much worse. 

And he felt that her physical pain wasn't because of him at all. 

But, he took a step of faith and signed up. She didn't do a program.

BUT... through the program SHE started initiating way more than ever and she didn't even notice.

She started enjoying it more and their marriage has flourished!

He has a Masters in Family Life Ministry said in an email to me:

"My wife and I have been to and led MANY Christian marriage conferences and retreats and
Bible studies and have watched many marriage videos and read many books and I have done
pre-marriage counseling with couples in my role as a pastor and camp director, but I have never
experienced anything as comprehensive and effective as Masculinity Reclaimed!"


Excited for you to hear these two mens' stories, as professionals in the field God has used MR to help their own marriages and I am SO honored, humbled and grateful.



PS - If you want to see what MR is all about and get some fantastic free training, sign up for the Free Men's Masterclass coming up next month: October 11, 2021 (

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