For the past 30 years, she has tried everything to try and connect with her husband. It left her feeling lonely inside her own marriage.

Tanya is a woman who feels deeply. She is wired to feel the world and those around her in a deep, empathetic way.

But this is not the way her husband was wired. Since the beginning of their marriage, Tanya has felt a disconnect and a dismissal of her emotions. 

Her husband went looking for marriage help and found the Delight Your Marriage podcast.

Through the podcast, he was inspired to join the men's program and that is when their marriage really began to change.

She was shocked when she noticed he started listening more intently, he became more tender, and they would go on walks in the park holding hands together- something that had been missing since their dating days.

This inspired Tanya to do the women's program and "jump in with both feet", willing to let this program change her the way it had changed her husband.

Now, their marriage has flourished. Tanya never thought it would be possible, but here they are, more connected than ever before.

She said she feels "let out of prison". The depression has lifted and she has hope for the future for the first time in so long.

We believe Tanya's story will encourage you and inspires hope in you for your journey!

Love, 

Belah & Team 

PS - If this story resonates with you and you want to see a change in your marriage as well, we would love to talk with you. Contact us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a completely free Clarity Call. (A call Tanya says is still impacting her even now.)

PSS - Here is a quote from a (different) recent graduate:

Before the Delighted Wife Program:

"We were planning on how to keep a family together while breaking our family up - We were at the end of ourselves and decided it was time to give up and go our separate ways."

After:

"WHERE DO I BEGIN!!! I have grown in patience, perspective, my faith and connection with God, my understanding of my husband, and peace.  I have learned how to build my marriage.  Building it is now a journey and no longer an intense, overwhelming mission impossible... 

Biggest take away from this whole course is the GOD FACTOR.  Belah always pointed us to Jesus NOT to a strategy or an idea or concept.  It was directly and purely to JESUS.  He was the main focus, and everything else just fell  into place.  It helped me to re-center everything in my life."

Clarity is a Christian's speciality. 

Amidst a confused culture, a clear understanding of God's word is what we need. 

If you're a husband, I invite you to consider how Jesus led and what the Bible says about a husband's leadership in the family. 

If you're a wife, I invite you to hear what a man can be (really) so you are happy to be led. 

My story started without good role modeling. 

And then I tried to "submit" and it was soul crushing. 

Then I decided I would NOT submit, and it was stressful, frustrating, and deeply painful. 

Then I discovered God's way  (though I still make mistakes at times), and it has made both my husband and I flourish. 

I can lead in many, many ways outside of our family -- but I love that in our home I am not the leader. My husband is trustworthy and good to me and our children. 

I hope you can catch a vision of what it can mean for you as a man or a woman to empower the right order of family. 

We are to be a light on a hill for the non-believers. 

I hope you'll curiously seek to gain perspective and growth into more and more of who God wants you to be in and through your marriage so you can do more for the Kingdom of God. 

Love,
Belah

PS - We can help -- if you're a husband or a wife -- that's what we do. Check out delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn more.

PPS - Here a quote from a recent graduate:

Before the Masculinity Reclaimed program: “I had quite a few struggles when starting the program...we were arguing quite a lot, I was defensive in my responses and even blamed [her] for the issues. I also hadn't been intentional in terms of dating or cherishing her for a long time and she was feeling neglected and getting more and more upset about the situation. 

Neither of us was very happy. I tried to do more around the house to make [her] happy, tried to act perfectly but still failed and ended up walking on eggshells most of the time. Not feeling or acting confidently or as a leader.”

After MR: “I can see now that I had been both aloof and independent towards my wife...but also very dependent on her mood and feelings/actions towards me. 

I feel more secure now in who I am, I don't get defensive much at all any more and we rarely argue… I realized that I hadn't been a very good husband for a very long time. I didn't know the extent of it until I went through each week and realized that I hadn't really been doing the basics of knowing my wife, or making her feel safe and cherished. That was a hard realization, but actually really helped me to understand the situation and where [she] was coming from and also helped me to own my part in it. 

It's been a huge change for the better. I have daily devotions now, I practice gratitude daily now. I have more confidence and less anxiety around people or stressful situations. I feel closer to God now; what could be a bigger impact than that?”

We have all felt the frustration and disappointment of doing our best to do the right thing and life still does not go the way we thought. 

For 28 years, Stephen was a faithful husband to his wife. There were no drugs or alcohol or pornography. They raised two kids in a Christian home. From the outside, everything looked like it should be going right.

But within their marriage, they were falling apart. Stephen felt emotionally and physically abandoned by his wife and didn’t know what to do.

After desperately searching “Sexual Intimacy” on Google in hopes of finding some answers, Stephen stumbled upon Delight Your Marriage.

After the first podcast episode, he knew this was what the Lord had for him. He was shocked that after signing up, exactly what he had been praying for came to pass... his wife greeted him with open arms, a smile, and a “How was your day?” followed by a passionate night!

Stephen had to do his work on himself. It wasn't easy and he had to have faith that God could change it all. And He did.

This is the story we want for each person listening: to be desired by their spouse, to be connected, and to be loved in a delight-filled marriage.

We are so thankful to Stephen for sharing his story with us and we hope that his story becomes your story too.

Blessings,

Belah & Team

P.S. - If you want to know more about our Clarity Calls or how to become involved in the same work Stephen did, please reach out to us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. We would love to talk to you!

P.S.S. - Here is a quote from a recent graduate:

Before the men's program: “I often felt disrespected and controlled. To a degree I felt unloved because of the lack of physical intimacy.

I often felt I couldn’t be myself or express my opinion because of the disapproval I would feel when I did. There was anger and indifference growing in me. We were growing further and further apart…”

After the men's program:

“Tension between us is pretty much gone! Our relationship, our discussions have become much more peaceful, easygoing and playful than before. My wife has become more affectionate and has initiated intimacy more! We can now discuss physical intimacy and not argue.

She has told me many times how she likes the changes she sees in me, and is expressing more and more desire to grow in intimacy herself!...

Other people around us, even strangers, have noticed something different about us. One change that I think is the most telling of how the DYM program has impacted our lives:

Prior to the program we had been sleeping in separate rooms for years. I am thankful to say that I am back in our marriage bed, physically, emotionally – for good now!”

P.S.S.S… :) 

A few weeks ago, I had the wonderful privilege of being a guest on the 'That's Just What I Needed' podcast with speaker & author Donna Jones, who is a friend of DYM and has actually been on our podcast as well! If you'd like to listen to the episode, we talk about what you can do make your marriage better, regardless of where you're starting. You can find it here: That’s Just What I Needed

It was so great getting to chat with her and we hope the episode blesses you immensely! We want to support Donna and the great work she is doing so if you are on social media, please give her a follow on @donnaajones and make sure to check out her new book, Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life. Thank you again for having me, Donna!

 "Throughout all of history, it is clear that humans naturally are humble, self-sacrificial, and want to be of service to others"

...said no one, ever. 

That is the right heart and mindset but it must be chosen and cultivated.

When we look back at our lives the things we are most proud of are not what came easily.

We are most proud of what was difficult, what took sacrifice and what was in service to something bigger than ourselves. 

By nature, we don't want to do "hard".

Easy SEEMS better in the short-term, but when we choose the hard, we look back and see a life of meaning and purpose. 

As a wife, it's not easy to reject the lies that society feeds us nowadays.

Lie - "Men and women are the same"

The problem is if we're the same then we'll expect to give and receive love the same way.

So, if a wife doesn't need sex to feel loved, she'll be bitter that her husband can't live without it.

The truth sets us free. And the truth is men and women are designed differently -- equal in value and dignity but different in the ways we receive love (among other things).

When I push myself towards the gym because of a doctor's wisdom, am I oppressing myself? Is the doctor oppressing me for suggesting such a gruesome and heinous encouragement that could leave me sore and in discomfort for days...

No--I'm grateful he told me the truth so I can have the results he knows I want: health and well-being. Ultimately, if I do push myself to go to the gym, I feel a LOT better once I'm there and started.

In the same way, if it is true and wise and good to go towards intimacy in marriage -- regardless of how I feel naturally -- I can change my attitude and go towards this gift that God has given. And generally with the right attitude, I'll start to enjoy it in the midst. 

The beautiful part about sex is when you sacrifice your feelings and wants for the good of God's plan for your marriage, you can actually start to enjoy, love, and relish in His good gift of intimacy!

It all starts with a choice to say "Not my will, but Your will be done in my life".

Love,
Belah

PS - If you are wanting to improve your marriage and have deeper intimacy with your spouse, we would love to talk with you. Please feel free to contact us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to schedule a free Clarity Call.

PPS - Here is quote from a recent graduate:
Before: "[Before the Delighted Wife program], My husband and I were at the brink of complete and utter separation.  We were not communicating.  There was anger and yelling and volatile behavior.  We were not even sleeping in the same bed, in the same room. I was feeling absolutely helpless and broken.  I feared for the future and for what would happen to our family. My health was being affected and all of the struggles were really destroying both of us.”

After DW: “Through the program, I realized that first, my husband is different than I am.  Second, I learned that I was not respecting, admiring, or being wholehearted in my approach to intimacy.   Third, I learned that the improvement that God was effecting for our marriage needed to begin with one of us and that it was me who needed to start… I learned to see my husband through God's eyes and am determined to love him with all of his strengths and weaknesses without wanting any change but instead being grateful for all that he is in my life… Delight Your Marriage opened my eyes to what the Lord has in store and has filled me with so much hope. Through the tools of the program, I have been able to see the improvements that have been affected almost miraculously.  To God be the Glory!!!”