ANNOUNCEMENT: For those of you already registered for the FREE Masterclass---they are being released at 7pmEST, TODAY.
Or sign up here: delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass
About 15-20% of couples are "sexless" meaning very few instances of intimacy per year. When I work with these couples it's evident that both people are hurting.
And often the husband doesn't realize he's injuring his wife on a daily basis which prevents her from coming towards him in intimacy... which leads us to Paul's powerful testimony of Jesus' work in his marriage.
This conversation is such a joy because you can’t help but be in awe of God after listening.
Lyle and his wife had been married 35 years. And unfortunately, many of those years were sexless.
Though they spent 21 years in counseling, tens of thousands of dollars on counseling, they had experienced separations and he said they were housemates and often adversaries.
“The year before your course, we had sex 4 times” and as he puts it there was no intimacy, just “sex”.
He decided to take the leap of faith and enroll in the Masculinity Reclaimed program. He worked for 3 months. But he saw changes even after the first meeting.
His heart changed. He started to see her as an incredible woman again. Something he hadn’t been able to see for many years.
And his wife started noticing his changes and liking them!
And then they started making love! Enthusiastically and regularly! And even a few months after the program (and him still implementing what he learned!) SHE suggested they make love every week in a playful and positive way.
They went from housemates to friends and lovers.
Lovemaking increased in all ways, but as Lyle mentioned it is reflective of their entire relationship improving.
And she didn’t even know he was doing the program, because he didn’t want her to think his efforts to change their marriage were selfish or all about sex.
When he did share it with her a couple of months after the program, not only was she glad he did it, but she also said she was glad he didn’t tell her.
Otherwise, she would have been suspect.
I grilled Lyle pretty hard on this point because it’s a question I get from husbands a lot.
They want to take the program but feel they need to involve their wives. But Lyle wonders how about planning a surprise for your wife--a birthday party for example.
It’s also a secret, but a good secret. And one your wife will THANK you for later.
You’ll be encouraged by Lyle’s testimony. You can have hope of transformation. Truly you can.
The burdens of rejection, stress, and oppression were gone and instead were replaced with creativity, energy, and LIFE.
Intimacy can be hard to navigate especially when your marriage seems to be falling to pieces, but by God’s grace, it does not have to stay that way.
Listen in to this amazing testimonial of God's transformation! And Lyle gives plenty of advice and encouragement for you!
PS Today is the day for the FREE Masterclass! One for men or the other one for women, go to delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass (It’ll be available for just a few days.)
It's released at 7pmEST today!
Have you ever felt like your intimacy was just a duty that needed to be marked off the “to-do” list?
What about that sex was great physically but emotionally it was empty?
Or, have you gone to bed wondering why this amazing, God-given thing is causing so much strife in your marriage?
Kyle & Ali were both there at one point in their marriage…
Ali saw sex as a “thing” that was constantly there pestering her. She was intimate with her husband to please him and only him.
Their children noticed that their marriage was suffering. They were not emotionally connected, so they were not acting as a team. They communicated solely to run their family.
They took a leap of faith and joined the Delight Your Marriage men’s program and women’s program!
Now Ali loves communication and their home is a “peaceful and cozy environment.” The pressure is gone and she feels the freedom to initiate. Intimacy is a priority now and not just another chore to be done.
In fact, she shares,s, “I desire sex now! I didn’t think I’d ever say that.”
Kye hated that his wife did not seem to desire him or intimacy at all. He spent a lot of time discouraged so he struggled to be fully present as a husband, father, or friend.
He did not understand why this God-given thing was causing so much stress in his marriage. He wanted to enjoy intimacy and for Ali to actually desire it.
After their Delight Your Marriage programs, they both discovered the missing link to their chain.
Kyle described their intimacy as being a 10 out of 10 now!
He began loving his wife the way Christ loves the church in practical ways and now intimacy is no longer a duty, but instead, it's full of mutual service and love.
To hear the way God is truly using these programs to transform lives is such a testament to His goodness and faithfulness.
Be sure to join in; you don’t want to miss it!
Anne and Glenn lived in a blissful honeymoon state at the beginning of their relationship, until their relationship quit growing and grew stale. They described it as being stuck in winter.
Anne felt like intimacy was an obligation and sex felt forced. She did not feel emotionally connected and he did not feel physically connected, so the suffering began.... and stayed for over two decades.
The power of a praying wife… God touched Glen and caused him to start a journey to better himself and turn his marriage around.
He stumbled upon a Delight Your Marriage podcast and shortly afterward signed up for Masculinity Reclaimed.
In fact, at 3am God prompted him to sign up… and he’s glad he did!
He discovered how to date his wife again, how to connect deeper, how to forgive, and how to be vulnerable in his marriage. Not only did Anne begin to notice the changes, but so did their daughter and son!
The trickle effect continued when Anne decided to take the Delight Your Marriage, Intimate Freedom course. She gained confidence in herself and for the first time in a long time, intimacy was fun! She found her femininity and felt like she could truly be herself because the emotional trust was there.
She challenges us listeners: if you are not going forward, you are going backward. It is your choice.
Tune in to hear this amazing testimonial. It will inspire faith--no matter how long your marriage has been “this way” it can change!
PS If you’d like to join the free masterclass coming up March 25 for men or the other one for women, go to delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass (It’ll be free for a limited time)
If you’d like to find other free resources go to delightyourmarriage.com/free
If you want your marriage to change... this is required.
Faith that it will change.
But how do you even get there? How does it relate to your life?
I have some extremely practical ways for you to have a renewed sense of faith that things can change. Keep in mind, if you don't have faith things will change---undoubtedly they never will.
It is so easy to compare our lives and our circumstances to those around us. Add on plenty of cultural norms that make negativity almost an expectation.
That becomes the breeding ground for anxiety, worry, depression, and angst to grow.
But God has called us to live a life full of joy and abundance even in our marriage and intimacy.
Join me as we discover the deeper meaning of faith, what having a disciplined mindset means, and how to visualize positivity for our lives in the middle of a hard season.
PS If you’d like to join the FREE training for women all about confidence in intimacy — which will be available for a limited time — go to delightyourmarriage.com/sc
If you’d like to be included in the FREE Men's Masterclass: Passionize Your Marital Intimacy---even if you're the only one who works: delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining
This is very interactive, so you don't want to miss it!
Today’s interview is with Jeremiah, a graduate of my Masculinity Reclaimed program.
They had a pretty good marriage. And originally their sex life was pretty good, but life happened…
Like many of my listeners, once kids came into the picture things began to deteriorate in that department.
She no longer felt emotionally connected and he no longer felt fulfilled intimately.
Jeremiah realized he was only getting out of his marriage what he was putting into it; it was not actually all her fault.
So, he set out on a journey of self exploration, enrolled in Masculinity Reclaimed, learned how to emotionally connect with his wife, and slowly but surely progress began to follow.
At one point he basically says -- honestly, I thought the men you interviewed of their success through your program were paid actors… until it happened to our sex life!
But most importantly he shares in this episode the specific shifts he made in himself that transformed their intimacy.
Join me as we dive into how Jeremiah went from somewhat stale and obligatory intimacy to deep, emotionally fulfilling lovemaking (where she initiated even 2x in one day!)
Be inspired--be encouraged--get motivated!
If you’re a man, you’ll really want to sign up for this free training “Men’s Masterclass” at the end of March 2021 at delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining
If you’re a woman you can attend a free class all about confidence in intimacy — which will be available for a limited time go to delightyourmarriage.com/sc
If you’d like to find other free resources go to delightyourmarriage.com/free
Frequently, men are craving intimacy more than their wives. If you're in that category, then this podcast will help you.
Darcy is a busy business owner, mother, and grandmother--married 28 years.
She loves God and has had a better than average marriage all that time.
A friend of hers invited her to listen to the podcast--saying it had brought them to tears.
And when she listened, she too was brought to tears with a very different understanding of intimacy than she had ever realized.
God did an utter miracle in her heart and her marriage.
For days she had a voracious appetite for intimacy with her husband. She says it gave her insight into how a man feels all the time. And she feels a oneness with him she's never felt previously.
Her husband changed! His low-grade depression disappeared! He is becoming a better father and man of faith. He is thriving before her eyes.
Their daughter even asked: "Mom, what happened to dad??"
If you're a wife, I encourage you to listen with an open heart.
God may want to speak to you through Darcy's story of love for Jesus. Which fueled a change of heart towards her husband.
I encourage you, if you know someone who may need to hear this story, send this to them. That's how Darcy's life changed. Someone had the courage to share it with her!
God bless you,
PS - I have MANY free resources! I would love to invite you to check them out: delightyourmarriage.com/free
I love new years because everything feels fresh and energized. Even though practically speaking it's the same as every other day, you just have to start training yourself to use a new number at the end of your dates.
But I am all about using whatever energy there is to increase my chances of growth and change--in God's will.
So, that's what today's podcast is about. Becoming stronger in your vision. It's about realizing that you're going to stand before Jesus and He'll be curious what you did with your days, which lead to weeks, which lead to years and then decades.
We must be cautious about how we spend our time, and spend it in priority to God's will.
I will show you the specific document I have used since 2013 and review at least quarterly to align my life with how I perceive God wants me to live.
I will also discuss the process I use to discern God's will for my life every quarter. Because I think we need to be considering God's will consistently in our lives and move towards it more and more every day.
I think you'll love the conversation and I look forward to hearing from you!
PS, if you'd like the free resource I mentioned to help you understand how to love your spouse the way they are craving, go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework
There are too many marriages flirting with divorce. You may be one, if not you probably know several.
Maybe you're at a spot where you don't want to be there.
...you want to run away.
...your spirit is broken.
Maybe you've only ever thought it or maybe you've admitted it to others.
I want to invite you to take the power you have to see that there may be a real strategy to get this thing turned around.
The podcast I released is a roadmap on how to get to a place this thing turned aroundce where you maybe, could possibly want to stay married.
It's not easy when you have been beaten down, neglected, rejected, controlled...
What can you do?
I want to give you 5 Steps that if followed in order, can quite possibly save your marriage and actually make you want to stay in it!
I don't have to convince you that your life (your kids' lives...) would be better if your marriage became healthy and loving again.
I hope you'll take the encouragement to focus on this and make these important changes.
If you want to find out about my live coaching & accountability programs...
For wives: Intimate Freedom (accepting enrollment now) or
For husbands: Masculinity Reclaimed (accepting enrollment in mid-March) you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Sign up for the free PDF Framework here: www.delightyourmarriage.com/framework
If you're listening to this in the present, our world is in many challenges and the holidays may look different than they ever have for your family.
How can we see this as a gift?
If you're a husband...
-you have an opportunity to shift the culture of your marriage to one that attracts your wife towards frequency, engagement, and freedom in intimacy.
If you're a wife...
-you have an opportunity to shift your intimate interactions to one which attracts your husband to be a man of the fruits of the spirit, romantic, and the spiritual leader.
Either party can make important changes.
But changes are hard and risky. Risking looking silly. Risking being laughed at or judged because this is outside of your "norm".
Luckily in the midst of the challenge, there is a huge opportunity to redefine your "norm". Redefine the culture of your marriage.
Making a culture that actually brings you two together rather than tears you two apart.
That's my invitation today: look at this challenge as a gift.
During a challenge, everything can change.
You can use this as a jumping-off point for your entire marital culture to change: warmth, laughter, playfulness, and safety as well as passion, freedom, and frequency in intimacy.
This challenge is truly an opportunity for dramatic changes in your marriage.
My conversation today is with a wife who had a persistent husband.
After he worked on himself (!) he highly encouraged her to work with me in a program. At first, she wasn't happy about it and she felt pushed into it.
But through the process of understanding who her husband is... different than who she is, she discovered that God may be asking of her something that she didn't expect.
For wives: if you feel "pushed," (assuming there's not abuse and your husband is a good man) Diana's encouragement is to come at it with an open mind. "What do you have to lose? ...Your marriage"
I believe this conversation is one you won't want to miss!
For wives... Right now I have FREE training series for wives: Seductive Confidence, you can get it at delightyourmarriage.com/sc
(Be sure to sign up right now so you can have access to the training!)
For husbands: here's some free advice if you'd like to invite your wife to listen to my trainings: delightyourmarriage.com/advice
This is part 2 with my husband where we're talking about what seduction means to men.
I encourage you to "catch" my husband's heart. That's what's so attractive. That spirit is what encourages me to be generous in the ways my husband desires.
If you want more insight, on how to introduce your wife to my material, I have a special FREE Advice for Men To Invite Their Wives training.
If you're a wife and want to get access to a FREE training called Seductive Confidence Masterclass. I am excited to encourage more women to grow in their God-given right to be free, playful, and loving through intimacy!
Today is extra special because I have on the most amazing man I've ever met. Ehemm... my husband. :)
If you want to know why I am the way I am (well, regarding the generous things in intimacy), it's because this gentleman loved me really, really well and continues to every day.
It's not necessarily intuitive, but it is God's way.
This conversation will be instructive for wives -- who feel insecure and challenged by seduction -- and husbands -- who want to be pursued with playful and fierceness.
For men - You'll find out that gentleness and compassion are the keys to her heart as well as specifically what to say to her that makes her want to make you happy intimately.
For women - You'll hear from a really good man, what seduction means to him and why it's important.
If you'd like to get a free download of some of my favorite seduction tips, you can go to delightyourmarriage.com/tips and you'll be signed up for the Free Training on Seductive Confidence coming soon!
I'd like to give you a view of communication that isn't repressing feelings but also isn't open with all of them, at least not all at once. And when you are open slowly, you are in a way that encourages the good rather than discouraging everything.
I think in our fast-paced society nowadays, we feel this inappropriate pressure to share all the feelings we have about a topic (sex is a big one!) with our spouse because we need to get that checked off of our mental burden list. Or we need to finally unload or get it off our chest.
So we pile on all these painful complaints, criticisms, and unacknowledged feelings all at once.
And it causes huge divisions between partners and can take years to heal, if at all.
My encouragement in today's podcast is to think of your relationship not as a 30-minute conversation but as a 90-year conversation. There is no need to address everything right now.
There is a need to be respectful, kind, gentle, grateful, and loving in all your communication with your spouse. When that is your "normal," then there is an opportunity to strategically place encouragements towards a general movement in a direction that is important to you.
"But that could take months, even years." Luckily, you have that. And you are strong enough to shift things slowly but surely in the right direction. The shocking thing is if you are disciplined and you are careful, it may take way less time than you think.
One important piece is you can make yourself happy during that time and happier as you wisely encourage and compliment in the direction you desire. (More on that in the podcast).
This is giving the truth in love. We don't need to rhetorically cut each other because we're lazy or we're "good at fighting." We can be gentle, humble, meek, self-disciplined, and patient with the truth--even in response to our partner's accusations.
This way is harder and requires Jesus' strength and character, but it will actually move you farther faster. The other can set you back for years to come and may undermine the very thing you're trying to improve.
I hope you'll listen to this podcast with an ear for what Jesus wants for your marriage and interactions in it.
PS If you haven't yet rated and reviewed the podcast, I'd love to receive a screenshot and give you a $97-value training for men--for free!
Send me a screenshot of your review to belah at delightyourmarriage.com
If you're not sure how to do that and you listen vai iTunes, you can find out how at delightyourmarriage.com/itunes
Well, it all started with Steve the rooster. This is a good story. So...Step #1 - Buy a roosterStep #2 - Invite your mom overStep #3 - Just kidding... :P
If you're not already, sign up for LIVE, FREE Men's Masterclass on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!
The best way to encourage your spouse is to attract them. I find it clear in the Bible that people have to be attracted towards Jesus by us living like him. Jesus did miracles and was compassionate to people before he ever rebuked them.
Hoping your day is going well? There's a lot of difficulty you may be facing right now, and one of the best gifts I can give you is rest. Well, not me but God.
It seems strange to think rest could help you cope with the intense struggle you're dealing with, but you may be quite surprised.
I'd like to share a podcast episode that is dear to my heart and my growth.
Why does rest matter to your life? Well, Jesus by no means hurried through life. He practiced Sabbath. He enjoyed His day to day life. Even children wanted to be around Him.
If we're stressed we don't spend the time to connect with our partner in a meaningful way, in or out of the bedroom. For women, usually stress kills her libido but can increase her need for emotional connection. For men, it often makes them crave the release sex brings but he has low capacity to be present to her emotions.
How can any of us not stress? There are bills to be paid, kids to raise, food to prepare, chores to accomplish every single day.
Rest doesn't fit into our lives.
But I would posit, as followers of Jesus, we can't NOT rest and be aligned with His will. We need rest to ensure we're on track. It's easy to be on the rat race for years and have no perspective to see what does God actually care about in your life.
If you don't have pause to calm your heart and mind, you can't discern what that is. It's not work, it's rest.
I am looking forward to sharing this with you. Good news: when you're rested, your intimacy in all ways increases.
Love and Blessings,
PS I am inviting you to save the date for the free LIVE Men's Training Oct 9 - 11!
You can sign up here: www.delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining
In this episode, I have a former student who is in his 70s and has been married over 45 years.
Not only has he and his wife used some of these interventions themselves, he is also very well-versed in the research behind it.
He nor I am a doctor and this is not meant to be taken as medical advice, but it is worth asking your doctor about these possible solutions.
He also talks about the important health choices their family has made to keep them healthy sexually and vibrant even in their latter years.
For links to the many resources mentioned, go to the show notes page.
To understand the Framework that I taught he and his wife when they worked with me, go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/framework