I have been a long time fan of Nathan Rittenhouse and his work at Thinking Out Loud Together and today, I had the incredible privilege of sitting down with Nathan Rittenhouse for our podcast!
Nathan is a speaker, apologist, and co-founder of Thinking Out Loud Together. Our conversation today was filled with rich insights about intimacy, humility, integrity, and the way marriage fits into God's grand design. I truly can’t wait for you to hear it!
There’s so much to unpack, but here are some of the biggest takeaways from our conversation:
The Bigger Purpose of Marriage: Building a Legacy That Lasts
Nathan shared how his perspective on marriage has been deeply shaped by the generations of faithful, steady relationships in his family. He reminded us that marriage isn't just about two people—it impacts generations. "What will my descendants 200 years from now say about the type of life I lived?" he asked. This long-term vision is something I would encourage every reader and listener to think about.
We often get so caught up in the day-to-day struggles of marriage, but when we zoom out, we see that every choice we make—every act of love, every moment of kindness, every decision to honor our spouse—ripples out for generations. What an incredible reason to be intentional about how we love, respect, and serve in our marriages!
One of the most powerful themes we explored was how intimacy—yes, physical intimacy—can actually be an act of worship.
Nathan pointed out that God designed the physical world—including our bodies—as good.
And when we engage in intimacy within God’s design, it’s not just a physical act—it’s a deeply spiritual one. It’s an opportunity to delight in God’s creation, to experience His love, and to reflect His heart. Instead of something to be endured or achieved, it becomes something to celebrate—a way to glorify the Lord.
Sexuality & Integrity: Practicing Spiritual Discipline in Private
Nathan emphasized that our true selves are revealed in private moments.
He highlighted Jesus’ words in Matthew 6, where He speaks about the Father rewarding what is done in secret. And that’s so important when it comes to things like purity, faithfulness, and battling temptations like pornography.
True integrity means being the same person in private that we present in public. Or as Nathan said, “Preach what you practice”, not just practice what you preach, but actually live with such integrity that your life naturally becomes the message.
The Power of Male Friendships: Emotional Support & Community for Men
Nathan and I also talked about something that’s so often overlooked: the power of godly male friendships.
He pointed out that a lot of men struggling in their marriages—whether it’s loneliness, unmet expectations, or just feeling stuck—often lack deep, strong friendships with other men. And part of the problem is that our culture has sexualized everything- including strong, male friendships- making it difficult for men to form those healthy, meaningful bonds.
But here’s the thing: God designed men to need other men in their lives. Just like women thrive when they have strong female friendships, men need brothers—not just surface-level friendships, but real, deep, iron-sharpening-iron relationships.
Christian Hope in Marriage: Finding Strength in God’s Design
We also discussed that unity in marriage is a byproduct of a shared focus on Christ. Unity in marriage isn’t found by fixing our eyes on each other—it’s found by fixing our eyes on Christ.
When we try to make our spouse the center of our world, things get out of balance. But when we prioritize our relationship with God, everything else—including our marriages—falls into its rightful place.
And finally, for those feeling discouraged—whether it’s low intimacy, unmet expectations, or loneliness—Nathan left us with this powerful reminder:
Our ultimate satisfaction must be in Christ.
Marriage is a gift. But it was never meant to replace our deepest need—to be fulfilled in God’s love.
If you’re struggling right now, know this: God sees you. He loves you. And He is the one who fills the deepest places of your heart.
Thank you again, Nathan, for this incredible conversation, for your joy in the Lord, and the deep, valuable insights you’ve shared with us! This conversation was truly such a gift.
And to you, dear listener and dear reader- may this conversation bless you, inspire you, and remind you of how deeply the Lord loves you.
Blessings,
Belah & Team
PS - Want to hear more from Nathan? Check out his podcast, Together Out Loud
https://toltogether.com/podcast, and the Thinking Out Loud Together website for more. https://toltogether.com/
PPS - If the idea of a family with no drama seems like a far off dream, or the thought of your private life being revealed in public brings thoughts of shame and hopelessness, we want you to know… there is hope. Give us a call: delightym.com/cc
PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate:
“We were planning on how to keep a family together while breaking our family up - We were at the end of ourselves and decided it was time to give up and go our separate ways… I have grown in patience, perspective, my faith and connection with God, my understanding of my husband, and peace. I have learned how to build my marriage. Building it is now a journey and no longer an intense, overwhelming mission impossible.”
This episode is a Re-Release, formerly titled: If You Only Knew His Love
We hope it blesses you now as it blessed you then!
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When I look back on my life—when I see what is currently unseen—when I see Jesus face to face—when all has been revealed…
I am convinced I will be BLOWN AWAY by the love I never realized He truly had for me.
The Bible says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them." (Matthew 6:26)
Yesterday, I was at the park, watching birds flitting around, this way and that. And yet, the God of the universe cares for them. So much so, He FEEDS the birds!
If He cares so deeply for the birds, how much more does He care for you and me?
He is feeding you. He is clothing you. He is providing far more than you may realize.
And He is intimately aware of your life and what you’re going through.
In both the joys and the suffering of life, God remains good. There is so much we cannot see, and yet He is in control.
Even in suffering, His purposes are higher than ours, and His plans are always good. He allows suffering for His reasons, only He can see.
Suffering is hard. It hurts. Deeply. But when we trust that every good gift in our lives comes from Him, it changes how we endure the hard times.
Instead of despair, we can face suffering with peace, joy, and contentment. This shift allows us to fulfill at least part of the purpose God has for our pain.
Make no mistake—God sees your suffering. He knows your struggles, whether they are rejection, loneliness, or unmet needs in your closest relationships.
God cares about the pain in your marriage. He cares about the lack of intimacy, warmth, or connection. He sees the ache in your soul. And He cares.
Even in the hardest moments, God is good. He loves you so much that He’s willing to risk you turning away from Him because He has a bigger plan for your life.
As Isaiah 55:9 reminds us, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
We don’t have to understand His reasons. But we are called to trust His goodness.
If God feeds the birds, how much more is He doing for us every day?
He makes each breath happen and every movement possible. Every smile from your child, every sunset you see, every heartbeat you experience—these are His gifts.
He knit you together in your mother’s womb, and He continues to sustain you every moment of every day. He is still designing, directing, and causing all these things to go well for us.
When we take the time to notice, we see His hand in everything good. Even in suffering, when something breaks, it reminds us of all the days He allowed it to thrive.
If we truly understood His love, if we only soaked in the truth of His love, we would trust Him more easily, even in the midst of pain.
If we only knew His love…
If we only knew His love…
If we only knew His love…
May you know the love of Christ today.
And may I know it, too.
Love,
Belah & Team
PS - If you would like help with your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call with our advisor. This call allows us to help you evaluate where you are in your marriage, and whether or not we are a good fit for you. Click here to schedule a free call: delightym.com/cc
We are so honored to share Dasha's incredible transformation story with you today! If you’re looking for hope for your own relationship, Dasha’s journey might be just what you need to hear today.
Dasha came into her second marriage with a guarded heart, carrying pain from her previous relationship. It wasn't easy; the beginning of this new chapter was rocky. She felt disconnected and had no desire for her husband. At one point, she even told him he could leave if he was unhappy.
But instead of walking away, her husband chose a different path. He joined Masculinity Reclaimed, Delight Your Marriage’s program for men, designed to inspire personal growth and transformation. Through this program, he was able to learn the differences between men and women and how to fully love his wife in a way that she would receive love. He began implementing what he had learned in his marriage and Dasha began noticing the changes in their home and in their marriage.
At first, Dasha was skeptical. She had seen temporary changes before, and they’d tried other methods, like counseling. But as Dasha put it, those methods “revealed” problems—they didn’t heal them.
This time, something was different. The changes in her husband weren’t just surface-level; they were real, lasting, and kept getting better. For the first time, Dasha began to feel emotionally safe. The walls she had built around her heart started to come down. She felt connected, relaxed, and fully free to be herself with her husband.
When she realized these changes weren’t going away, Dasha decided to take her own step of faith and bravery. She joined the Delighted Wife program to do her part in their journey.
Through the program, Dasha found the healing she had been longing for. By embracing gratitude, forgiveness, and the biblical principles we teach, she experienced transformation—not just in her marriage but in her own heart. She connected with other women who are on the same journey as her and now has a support system that is cheering her on and encouraging her. She learned how to open up her heart, though she was afraid it might bring hurt, she found that it brought healing. Today, she describes her marriage as not just connected, but fun!
And the sweetest part? Her son gets a front-row seat to a joyful, loving, and laughter-filled home.
We are so proud of Dasha for her courage, vulnerability, and willingness to embrace the process. Her story is a beautiful reminder that no matter how your marriage starts, you can change where it’s going.
It is possible to have a marriage that’s stress-free, emotionally safe, deeply connected, and full of fun.
We’re rooting for you and cheering you on every step of the way!
With love,
Belah & Team
PS - If you are looking for this type of change in your marriage, we invite you to make a Clarity Call and learn more about the programs we have for men and women: delightym.com/cc
PPS - Here is a testimonial from (another) recent graduate of the Delighted Wife program:
“My husband and I were at the brink of complete and utter separation. There was anger, yelling, and volatile behavior. We were not even sleeping in the same bed or the same room... Through the program, I realized how much healing needed to take place in my own heart. I’ve learned to see my husband through God’s eyes and to love him with all of his strengths and weaknesses. The forgiveness [module] helped me release past hurts, and I now truly feel loved.”
Trust is an essential part of the foundation in your marriage, but what happens when that foundation cracks—or even shatters?
Maybe you’ve been hurt by the person you thought would always protect your heart. Perhaps betrayal, harsh words, or neglect have left you questioning everything.
Can trust ever be rebuilt? Should you even try?
If you’ve found yourself asking these questions, you’re not alone. Broken trust can feel overwhelming, leaving you guarded, uncertain, and even hopeless.
But this doesn’t have to be the end of your story. There is hope for healing, even in the deepest wounds.
Wives, we know that you have every reason to not trust your husband again:
You might get hurt again.
Even if your husband is making changes, doubts linger. What if he goes back to his old ways? What if he’s only changing to get something from me?
Emotional wounds take time to heal.
Maybe arguments, harsh words, or emotional distance have left you wondering: If I trust him again, will the hurt just continue? [Dear wife, please know this is in reference to emotional hurt. If physical abuse is part of your story, your safety must come first. God’s heart breaks for your pain, and He wants you to be safe. Please seek help from trusted organizations or individuals who can support you.
He has been Untrustworthy in the Past
Maybe your husband has broken your trust—whether it’s with finances, responsibilities, or even his faithfulness. Perhaps he’s been judgmental, leaving you feeling small and unseen. Or maybe his words have torn you down so often that you’ve built a wall to protect your heart.
Your feelings are valid. The wounds are real, and they cut deep.
But alongside these fears, could it also be worth asking: Are there unmet needs—on both sides—that are contributing to the pain?
Here is what we want to make sure all of our readers know: Wives & Husbands need different things to thrive in a marriage.
Wives need to feel safe, known, and whole-heartedly cherished.
This isn’t just about physical safety; it’s emotional too. You need to feel that your thoughts, feelings, and dreams can be shared without fear of criticism or rejection. When this safety is missing, it’s hard to open your heart.
PS - If you want to start making this change in your marriage but don’t know how, we would love to chat with you: delightym.com/cc
PPS - Here is a testimonial from a recent graduate:
"Before DYM there was a lot of tension and stress in our marriage and disconnect. My husband had affairs, and these were replayed constantly in my head even though one of them occurred 25 years ago. I did not trust him and had not forgiven him… After going through the program, the stress is gone, and replaying the affairs in my head is pretty much gone… We are both so much happier in our marriage! I have also started back on my spiritual journey with God that I have been away from for many years."
How do you plan to step into this year with confidence and faith?
The new year often brings a whirlwind of resolutions and lofty goals. Perhaps you’ve felt that familiar pull—“I’m going to do more of this,” “I’ll cut back on that,” or “This year, I’ll completely turn things around.”
But maybe that’s not where you are right now.
Maybe, instead of a burst of motivation, you feel unmotivated, stuck, or unsure.
What if what you’re missing isn’t motivation, but faith? Faith that God is with you. Faith that He has a plan. Faith that, in Him, you can walk with a new sense of purpose.
Faith is confidence.
And if you feel like you’re lacking confidence, let this be an invitation to lean into Him. Here are a few ways to grow in confidence this year—because as your confidence in God grows, so does your faith.
1. Make Time for Intentional Moments with the Lord
Husbands, as spiritual leaders of your home, you’re called to guide—not perfectly, but faithfully. Start small. Read a Bible verse to your children before bed, or take a moment to pray with your family. When you open your Bible, ask God to speak to your heart: “Lord, what do You want me to learn? Reveal Yourself to me.” These simple steps will deepen your relationship with God, building faith and intimacy with Him.
2. Embrace Risks with Courage
Wives, stepping into the unknown—whether in your marriage or personal growth—can feel daunting. But just as thrill-seekers find exhilaration in challenges like skydiving or bungee jumping, there’s a unique joy in stepping out in faith, even in intimate parts of your marriage. Confidence begins with trust—both in God and in the one He’s placed by your side.
3. Be Useful for God’s Kingdom
In Revelation 3, we’re reminded that God desires us to be useful—not lukewarm. Whether it’s the hot water for cleansing or cold water for refreshing, each has purpose. Empty nesters, your wisdom and experience are invaluable. There’s a generation that needs your guidance and your prayers. Step boldly into the role God has for you.
4. Trust in His Faithfulness
No matter what you face, trust that God is working for your good. His love is steadfast, His discipline is kind, and His plans are perfect. Even in moments of waiting or trial, you can have confidence that He will see you through.
5. Look to Biblical Role Models
Scripture is filled with examples of faith under pressure. Think of Mordecai’s courage, Esther’s boldness, Peter’s willingness to step out onto the waves, and Paul’s unwavering hope even in chains. Their lives remind us that faith often requires action—and that God uses those who trust Him to do extraordinary things.
This year, don’t wait for the perfect moment to begin. Take a step, even a small one, toward the place you feel God is calling you. A moving ship is easier to steer than one that’s standing still.
We’re here for you, cheering you on and praying for God to fill you with confidence—confidence that will not only transform your life but ripple out to bless your family, your community, and the Kingdom.
God delights in you. Let this truth guide you as you step boldly into what He has prepared for you this year.
God bless you!
Love,
Belah & Team
PS - If you want to grow in discipleship and transform your relationship with God (and in turn your marriage), we would love to chat with you: delightym.com/cc
PPS - Here is a testimonial from a recent graduate:
"I have grown in my time with God, my intense desire to understand the Word and trust God. I have also grown in my openness and vulnerability with my wife, I was honestly intimidated by having open conversations with her about how I felt."