It’s so easy to feel the disconnect in your marriage and wonder if things can ever truly align.
Stu’s story is a beautiful reminder that transformation is possible.
Stu grew up feeling socially awkward and unsure about the purpose of marriage. After marrying his wonderful wife Linda and after 20 years of marriage, he still found himself asking, “How do I understand her?” and “How do I connect with her?” He described their relationship as feeling like “misaligned velcro.”
But instead of staying stuck, Stu decided to take a step of faith. Through the Delight Your Marriage program, he learned practical tools like the CIRQUE listening technique, which he called “revolutionary.” He discovered how to be prayerful and playful and he not only deepened his relationship with Linda but also grew closer to Christ.
Today, Stu says he and Linda are “perfectly aligned.” Praise God!
We hope Stu’s story inspires you to believe that change is possible. It’s possible to break free from feelings of disconnection. It’s possible to learn how to love your spouse in ways that make them feel cherished. And it’s possible for God to completely transform your marriage and your life.
God bless you!
Love,
Belah & Team
PS - If you are interested in taking the Marital Health Assessment that Stu mentions in this episode, you can find it here: https://delightyourmarriage.com/health/
PPS - If you want to participate in our FREE Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations Course, please check out this link: delightym.com/mrf
Let’s set the scene-
You’ve planned the perfect evening.
A Friday night—date night.
You and your wife are dressed to the nines. There’s a show, a fantastic dinner, and deep conversation that reconnects your hearts.
But then you arrive back home…
What are you hoping will happen next?
Here’s the truth: that unspoken hope—your expectation—might be doing more harm than you realize.
When a husband subconsciously expects intimacy, it can feel like pressure to his wife.
And that pressure? It makes her withdraw. Intimacy begins to feel transactional—like something she owes you, a “reward” for good effort, rather than a mutual outpouring of love.
In fact, the more you expect it, the less she’ll desire it.
So, how do you break free from this pattern and draw her closer instead?
Here are three key ideas:
Drop the expectations & be content in your life (find true contentment in life by letting God satisfy you in many ways)
Share your feelings more with your wife (She needs emotional connection in order to be open to physical intimacy)
Think strategically about your marriage (You’re intentional about your career, your goals—why not your marriage?)
In today’s episode, we unpack these three steps and explore how to release the pressure of expectations, discover fulfillment outside of intimacy (even when sex isn’t in the picture) [We highly recommend you checking out Ep. 417: Re-sensitize Your Pleasure for more on this topic], and create a marriage that’s full of joy, connection, and God-honoring pleasure.
We believe God when he said he meant for couples to be “one flesh”. And we believe that he created intimacy to be unifying, satisfying, and connecting heart, soul, and body.
We hope this episode brings a new perspective and new joy, intimacy, and connection into your marriage.
God bless you!
Belah & Team
PS - If this episode resonates with you, we highly recommend signing up for our FREE Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations Course at delightym.com/mrf.
PPS - Here is a quote from a recent MRF graduate:
"We were emotionally, intimately, and spiritually disconnected. We lived in the same house but didn't live together. I was angry and bitter, critical of everything, and judgmental. I hated that about myself. [Now,] My wife and I are closer than we have ever been! She has a glow. It's crazy how much we love each other. Life is fun! I can't stand to be without her. Glory to God!”
We know that intimacy is an integral part of married life.
But what happens when that intimacy… isn’t happening?
You’ve tried to explain, you’ve tried to give your point of view, you’ve even tried to give pointers, and still… nothing.
What can you do?
At Delight Your Marriage, we have developed a framework for what men and women need in order to feel loved and thrive in their marriages and, in turn, move towards intimacy. When these things are missing from a marriage, it can often cause bitterness, resentment, and can lead to months, even years, of lack of intimacy, physical or otherwise.
Here is what we have determined the framework to be:
What Women Need:
To be safe
To be known
To be whole-heartedly cherished
What Men Need:
To be respected
To be admired
To have whole-heartedly sexual intimacy
When these key elements are missing- everything else crumbles. If you are reading (or listening) and wondering why your spouse has not initiated intimacy or why they shut down initiations - look back to this list. Are you giving this to your spouse?
We hope today’s episode will bless you as we shed some light on this topic, expand on the ‘why’ behind these needs, and give practical ways on how to implement this framework - not only for the goal of physical intimacy, but for the goal of having a thriving and beautiful marriage.
We are rooting for you!
God bless,
Belah & Team
PS - To check out the Marital Health Assessment mentioned in this episode, visit https://delightyourmarriage.com/mhac/
PPS - If you are wanting to grow in your marriage and learn exactly how to implement this framework (and get support while you do it!), we would love to talk to you. https://delightyourmarriage.com/cc
We are so glad to be able to share a re-release episode with you this week! My husband, Dario, joins us again and he, as always, has some words of encouragement for you. We hope this episode does indeed encourage you and bless you!
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Nov. 11, 2021
Don’t give up.
My goal today is to encourage you. You’re doing a really good job. Just by tuning in, you’re winning.
You’re seeking to love your spouse well, even when it doesn’t look like it matters.
You’re seeking to do God’s will in the midst of your circumstances.
My husband is on the show today because he’s the best encourager that I know. And I want you to hear from him how much he wants you to know, you’re on the right path, you’re doing the right thing, and I am proud of you.
Love,
Belah
PS – If you need help right away, get with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help you: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
PPS – If you have yet to check out our free stuff — do so here! delightyourmarriage.com/free
It’s so easy to focus on the weaknesses of your spouse.
In fact, it’s one of the easiest things to do when you think of them, but if you can imagine being in your spouse’s shoes, everything you say and do, picked apart and looked at under a magnifying glass… That doesn’t help them live their best life and thrive.
I invite you to instead accept your spouse‘s weaknesses. They have them. You have them. And look instead at their strengths. Notice what they’re doing right and comment on it.
Today. I’m joined by my husband, Dario, who is an amazing father and amazing husband. I’m very honored to walk this road of life alongside him. But he sees me at my very worst and he accepts those weaknesses, but he also supports me in them. So, like many of you, I can be on my screen too much or not want to go to sleep on time amongst other weaknesses… And my husband is so gracious, gentle, but also responsible to help me do what I need to do to live my best for God.
I invite you to support your spouse and their weaknesses, but also really focus on their strengths and help them to realize the good that God has placed in them. I hope even this weekend you will have more grace for your spouse and focus on the good in them.
God bless you!
Love,
Belah