There’s a profound truth that can often be overlooked: love, in its truest form, is sustainably sacrificial. This means loving your spouse in a way that endures, even when it's challenging.
If you're a spouse who is tempted towards apathy—losing hope and withdrawing—it can feel like a deep, unending chasm. This apathy might stem from various sources: exhaustion from the relentless demands of daily life, pride that blocks genuine connection, unforgiveness that creates barriers, or perhaps a combination of all these factors. Whatever the reason, it’s crucial to recognize these signs before they evolve into a dangerous pattern that jeopardizes your relationship.
There may be times when your spouse’s attempts to reach out (or lack thereof) seem ineffective or even hurtful. I encourage you to see beyond the surface and engage with the deeper purpose of marriage -- to make God proud of you.
Remember, you’re not loving your spouse for a specific result; you’re doing it because you love God. That love for God will sustain you when you’re not seeing the fruit of your efforts. He CAN fill us with all joy and peace, irrespective of our circumstances or the immediate outcomes of our actions.
Even amidst the temptation to lose hope and become apathetic. Don't. Instead, look to the Lord. Rejoice in Him, and trust that God is a God of hope. Your perseverance is not in vain, even when it feels like you’re giving more than your fair share in loving and meeting your partner’s needs.
Love,
Belah & Team
PS - If you are wanting to fight apathy, fight for your marriage, or just even get some clarity for your marriage... we would love to talk with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc.
PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate:
“My biggest celebrations have been: Forgiveness- I had no idea how much resentment I had towards my wife. There is no doubt in my mind that she felt that… I learned to not only forgive her, but look at some of those things as a strength for her… Replacing bad habits with good daily habits of first thanking God for my blessings. praying for my wife, shouting my faith statement and focusing on making my marriage the best it can be. I learned that it is all up to me. I know God is with me every step of the way, but I have to be the leader of my life and my marriage.”
We’re excited to bring you a story of a woman who was nearing the empty nester phase and, if she was really honest with herself, wasn’t looking forward to it at all. Her oldest had already left and grieving that separation added a strain on the marriage. Julie generally felt frustrated and unhappy and blamed her husband for the distance.
However, she did a very wise thing. She realized she is the only one who can change anything in the marriage by changing herself. She decided to take us up on our free Clarity Call offer and ended up feeling like she got a counseling session for free just by talking to our Clarity advisor.
Thankfully, she didn’t stop there and decided she wanted to join the program to gain the tools she needed to change everything in their connection. Which is exactly what happened. She started out feeling that she and her husband were opposites and maybe weren’t even meant to get along. And thank God, through this work, she discovered her husband is a man who is actually complementary, she deeply loves, and even misses when they are apart.
With love,
Belah & Team
PS - If you want to try out a Clarity Call like Julie did, here is the link: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
PPS - Here is a quote from a (different) recent graduate:
“Once I learned the 3 basic needs for my husband, I had a new understanding… He started to open up to me and we made more progress in a few weeks than we had in years.”
Hello everyone!
I hope you all have had a good week so far! For today’s podcast, we are doing something a little different!
I wanted to give you an inside look on what a Coaching Call with us is like. Confidentiality is of the utmost importance to us, so you won’t hear any names or any confidential information, but you will get to hear some of my coaching and some good truths being shared. We wanted to give you an example of what it would look like to be on a Coaching Call with myself and a few of your fellow peers.
Based on the men's questions, we cover a few important insights directed at men specifically:
Embrace humility in your identity as a believer.
Pursue sexual purity and healing.
Stay connected—accountability is a choice.
Lead your wife with courage; it’s what she desires.
Guide your family spiritually with practical ideas and encouragement.
If you are wanting encouragement, coaching, and want to seek out Truth and encouragement for your marriage, we hope you’ll consider joining the program and being part of a company of men running together to achieve the prize and gaining a wonderful and healed marriage and intimacy in the process...
We want you to know:
Change is possible. Healing is possible. And God loves you.
Love,
Belah & Team
PS - If you want more information on how to be a part of a Coaching Program like this, here's your next step: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
PPS - Here is a quote of a recent graduate's favorite celebrations from the program:
“Where do I begin? I have my wife back. We are having fun again. I almost feel like we are newlyweds again, but this time it is even better now after 28 years of marriage than it ever was. My wife feels safe with me. I'm loving her the way she receives love and she's loving me back wholeheartedly physically intimately towards me. No more duty sex. YEAH!!
She is pursuing her own pleasure too. She is frequently initiating to be intimate with me. She is flirting with me and she even did a tap dance saying how good it was the other day after we made love. I am holding back the tears as I am writing this. I will come back to this in a bit. Ok. I'm back. I have a heart filled with gratitude.
She even grabbed me as I was leaving the house today. She has never done that before. I think she is starting to crave my touch and now she likes to snuggle next to me. All of these celebrations while at the same time my wife is walking one of the most difficult seasons of her life... As I am writing this, she just sent me the most amazing text. I feel like I couldn't even come up with this if I had to. God is so so so good!!!!”
What if I told you that you have influence? That you don't need to have a podcast or a church or a book or a social media following. That right now, in this moment, you have the power to influence the lives of others, especially your spouse.
Every day we have the power to influence the life of our spouse. We have the power to show them who they are in Christ by loving them the way Jesus loves them. When we make their day great just by the tiny interactions we have with them throughout the day, we are influencing them in a dramatic way. It is affecting their life and their potential to follow Jesus more closely!
Or we can discourage them. We can complain and criticize and tear them down- even if we don't mean to. We have the power to completely make or break our spouses' day because of the relationship we have with them. If we're so focused on ourselves and our own needs not being met, we are negatively influencing them and likely pushing them away from Jesus on that day, week, year and eventually... their life.
Our spouse is our first assignment. They are our highest place of influence.
Do not waste your influence.
In this episode, we are talking about what it really means to have influence and how to use that influence (including some practicals in how to communicate the points you want to get across). We hope it shines a light on places and encourages you to recognize your power and use it for good.
Love,
Belah & Team
PS - You can find the Marital Health Assessment mentioned at the beginning of this podcast here: delightyoumarriage.com/health
PPS - If you want to know more about what we do and how we can help your marriage, please feel free to reach out at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate:
"There has been unbelievable healing and growth that I prayed so desperately for, but never knew how to achieve on my own. I am closer to God than ever before and now have such an incredible arsenal of tools in my pocket to handle the difficult situations that inevitably still arise."