This was meant to be a light & encouraging holiday podcast episode.
Then, it turned into a heavy and warning-type episode.
You'll be around souls this holiday.
Souls, that maybe you don't feel fully at peace with.
Souls, that maybe you have been wronged by.
Souls, that maybe you still feel the sting of the pain they inflicted on you.
This is spoken for no specific person...except, definitely for me.
Also, maybe for all of those I work with.
And maybe every person who has ever told me about their marriage struggles.
And maybe everyone else I know, too.
So, yeah... take this one personally.
May God stir His truth in you.
This is the good news:
"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."
This is the terrifying truth...
"But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Jesus said this in the gospel of Matthew 6:15 (NIV).
Here's the deal...
I follow Jesus and need Him to save me. I NEED him to forgive me.
And according to that verse, if I don't forgive others... I have no hope of eternal salvation.
May that sober us up this holiday to forgive every person, every single one.
So, I needed to hear this.
And, I NEED to live this in EVERY single relationship.
It's a command. I needed to be reminded of it. I hope you did, too.
Love you with great love -- in courage and integrity,
Belah
PS -- If you'd like to see what more God wants to do in your marriage, sign up for a free Clarity Call delightyourmarriage.com/cc
This was originally published a while back--but we highly recommend you listen again as you're praying through and discerning what God has for you in the new season of 2023.
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I love New Years because everything feels fresh and energized. Even though, practically speaking, it's the same as every other day, you just have to start training yourself to use a new number at the end of your dates.
But I am all about using whatever energy there is to increase my chances of growth and change--in God's will.
So, that's what today's podcast is about--becoming stronger in your vision. It's about realizing that you're going to stand before Jesus and He'll be curious what you did with your days…which lead to weeks…which lead to years, and then decades.
We must be cautious about how we spend our time and spend it in priority to God's will.
I will show you the specific document I have used since 2013 and review at least quarterly to align my life with how I perceive God wants me to live.
I will also discuss the process I use to discern God's will for my life every quarter. I think we need to be considering God's will consistently in our lives and move toward it more and more everyday.
I think you'll love the conversation and I look forward to hearing from you!
Blessings,
Belah
PS If you'd like the free resource I mentioned to help you understand how to love your spouse the way they are craving, go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework
PPS If you’d like help in your marriage, you are invited to schedule a free Clarity Call here. This call is invaluable in helping you to examine and evaluate where you currently are in your marriage and whether or not our courses could be helpful to you.
From a Clarity Call participant who decided not to take the course(s)::
“Thank you and thanks for your guys' help. I honestly couldn't have done it without the help of the podcast and just our talk opens my eyes up to what God wants for me and what direction and guidance he is showing me so thank you so so much!”
This is the next part of Communication Secrets and I think it's an important addendum.
We talk about what to do when you're disappointed with your spouse.
When you want them to change.
When you feel they were irresponsible.
I have two examples for you:
1 - When a friend was irresponsible and God brought conviction even when He kept me from saying anything.
2 - When I was irresponsible (I know---unbelievable!) and God brought conviction even when my husband didn't say anything.
I hope this brings you encouragement, direction, and skills as you attempt to live God's way in your marriage.
Love,
Belah
PS - If you’d like to see if our programs would be a good fit for you in helping you grow in your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call.
From a Masculinity Reclaimed graduate:
“For the first time EVER we had whole-hearted sexual intimacy, 2 or 3 times total. This was something that I had no idea even existed and it was barely believable. It was so amazing.
We haven't argued in months. Based on a DYM [Delight Your Marriage] podcast that I listened to before starting MR [Masculinity Reclaimed], I began the process of responding in ways that fully prevented arguments, so it's been more than 12 weeks without an argument. That was a massive game-changer for me and our relationship.
God has called me to a far deeper level with His word than ever before. The Holy Spirit has downloaded significant insight regarding how to love. This was done as a combination of scripture, DYM [Delight Your Marriage], and clarity provided during prayer.”
…
So much stress revolves around communication.
I've been there!
My husband and I have miscommunications everyday.
Today, for example, I was telling him about a sore in my mouth and he was sure I was talking about Europe.
That is silly and allowed for laughter.
But what about when someone is lost and just hoping for the other to quickly look up directions.
Or, when you're in a stressful situation, and one of you is incomprehensible (to you).
Well, I want to invite you to reframe what good communication is.
I want to invite you to consider what really matters in communication with your spouse.
I try to debunk some unhelpful cliches:
"Your spouse should be your best friend," or
"You have to be compatible with someone to be happy," or
"If you don't connect on common interests, you'll die a miserable, lonely, painful death.”
Alright, that last one isn't a cliche I've heard! (but maybe have felt?)
Let's get some fun back in our lives and let miscommunication be the fodder!
Blessings,
Belah
PS If you need immediate help in your marriage and you've seen some changes from podcasts so far, now is the time to let that inertia grow into long term transformation with training and tailored support.
So if that's what you need, get on the phone with a Clarity Advisor and they'll see if we are the right fit for your situation: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Quote from a Masculinity Reclaimed graduate:
"I just wanted to thank you again for your help in building the intimacy [my wife] and I have discovered.
Last night [my wife] wore lingerie, was passionate, and we had amazing sex.
You played a huge part in helping us get there.
In a thankless world, I want to give you a big high five and thank you for all of your insight."