Not discussed… but it’s common to be attracted to someone that’s not your spouse.
What do you do about it?
First, figure out where you are in your level of attraction and then decide action steps:
-1-3 (when you see them/talk to them you feel a chemistry)
talk to God, get busy, be an enthusiastic lover with your husband, redirect your thoughts, read the Word, work with your hands
-4-7 (find your mind wandering to this person consistently) confide in a mature friend of the same sex–tell them what’s going on and be very honest, avoid spending time with this person, journal about their qualities and affirm that your husbands qualities are better because x, y & z, speak affirmations in faith, draw close to your husband
-8-10 (if you’re considering an affair, divorce or in that spot already) seek counsel of a therapist or counselor, use all sexual inspiration and direct it towards your spouse, be as enthusiastic in the bedroom as you’d be with this new person, pray fervently, be very intentional about falling in love with your husband again, write pros and cons list of this decision and include EVERYONE who would be positively and negatively affected in short term and long term—be honest with what you’re dealing with, pretend you’re in the future looking back on your life and determine whether you’d make that same choice if you could do it all over again
Remember, what you imagine you see now…it’s all a fantasy. You are with the right person. And God will give you the grace to see that if you trust in him.
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UPDATE: I have had to postpone this virtual class referenced on the podcast. Feel free to sign up here to hear more about when the class is ready to be open.
To men:
I have men that reach out to me a lot of direction and support because they wish their wives would be interested in my material. My heart goes out to them and I’d like to give them individual and specific guidance, but I don’t feel comfortable working with men one on one. So, I am developing a Delight Your Wife virtual classroom just for men. This will be a weekly class where I will be live with you discussing a particular topic. You can send me your questions or add to the discussion during the call. These will be recorded and ready for you any time you’d like them in the future as well.
If you sign up in November 2018, you’ll have the lowest subscription fee as the content is still being developed and the virtual classes will just be getting started. Sign up for Delight Your Wife here!